Dirk Nowitzki Rips Avery Johnson, Shawn Bradley

Much like Bill Murray’s character in “Lost in Translation,” many celebrities think that the embarrassing commercials they do in foreign countries won’t see the light of day, only to see it pop up on the Internet. The same theory seems to apply to foreign athletes, who have a tendency to give extremely candid interviews to the media in their home country without thinking that it will see the light of day in the U.S.

Dirk Nowitzki

Add Dirk Nowitzki to the list. He gave a very open and revealing interview to the German basketball magazine 5IVE MAGAZINE, where he criticizes former teammates, his former coach, and speculates on playing for another team - maybe even in Europe.  And the whole thing might have gone unnoticed here in the States if the intrepid Henry Abbott of TRUEHOOP hadn’t have found it.

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Lowest-Rated Player In Madden 09 Gets First Start

The last player selected in the NFL Draft is known as Mr. Irrelevant. The distinction includes all sorts of perks not usually reserved for a guy passed over more than 250 times by all 32 teams. In addition to being honored with the prestigious Lowsman Trophy, this year’s Mr. I, David Vobora, got to kick it at the Playboy Mansion. Not too shabby for someone fighting for an NFL roster spot.

John Madden Football

No idea what fringe benefits come along with being the lowest rated player in Madden 09, but Bills rookie offensive tackle Demetrius Bell, holder of that honor, will get a chance to start today’s preseason finale against the Lions. And it’s all because his embarrassingly low Madden ratings motivated him to greatness. Or maybe it was because everybody else was injured. Definitely one or the other, though.

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Blog Roll: Chelsea Jammin’ With Jenna Jameson

• WITH LEATHER finds Chelsea trading the pitch for porn stars, as the English soccer team parties with Jenna Jameson.

Jenna Jameson Preying Mantis Lingerie Bowl

• BABES LOVE BASEBALL apply their Voodoo Sabermetrics to Nationals center fielder Lastings Milledge.

• Michael David Smith of AOL FANHOUSE wonders why the mainstream media is virtually ignoring Karl Malone’s possible statutory rape allegations.

• DEADSPIN wants to know if you approve of John Salley’s media work.

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Blog Jam: Tafoya Joins The Deadspin Hit Parade

Michael David Smith of AOL FANHOUSE tells Buzz Bissinger to make room for Michele Tafoya on the DEADSPIN bash-wagon.

Buzz Bissinger Michele Tafoya

• Meanwhile, MR. SUNSHINE berates Bob Costas in the same show for his snide opinions on sports radio.

• VIKINGS BLOG notes that after his arrest for assault, lineman Darrion Scott won’t likely be asked back to the Metrodome. But we bet Carl Eller would still want him around.

• The BOSTON HERALD reveals yet another woman claiming that Roger Clemens tried to start something - this time, it’s the ex-wife of wrestler Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake.

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Roos Shoos Back In The Noos With Sneaker Relaunch In America

SPREAD THE NOOS, PAYTON’S FAVORITE SHOOS ARE BACK!: The BOSTON HERALD reports that the old sneaker band Roos is making a comeback in the U.S. retail market. A Massachusetts-based company has “secured a license from U.K.-based Pentland Group to sell KangaRoos athletic shoes in the U.S. beginning this month, and the company plans to ‘expand into KangaRoos clothing and accessories.’

KangaRoos shoes

Our one memory of the ’80s version of the shoe was the late, great Walter Payton’s association with the brand.

Walter Payton Roos

We think Sweetness was the only major endorser of the eclectic kicks (”check out our pockets!“), which certainly earns him a place in the pantheon of footwear endorsement greats, like Derrick Coleman (British Knights), Karl Malone (L.A. Gear), and O.J. Simpson (Dingo Boots):

OJ Dingo Boots Karl Malone

Sadly, Roos shoes went extinct faster than the Bears’ playoff chances following the glory of Payton’s mid-’80s Bears teams. But here’s hoping the noo shoos will once again finally catch the nation’s fancy thanks to rapidly multiplying retail outlets.

Kangaroos Mating