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• Lawyers ask not to bring up Barry Bonds’ testicles during testimony.
• A-Rod’s needle-happy unnamed cousin has finally been found.
• Verne Gagne may have beaten his nursing home roommate to death.
• Penn State & Illinois were very offensive with their offense last night.
Hey there, readers! Keep your heads up, because it’s time for another wild & exotic edition of the ever-engrossing SbB Clever Caption Contest!
Today we check in on the Johnnie Walker Classic going down Down Under, as golfer Gary Lockerbie greets a couple of kangaroos on the green:
Ok, so it’s not that hilarious of a description. Maybe you can do better! Submit your suggestions into the comments section linked below. Winner will be announced in an Aussie accent in the end-of-the-day recap, with the first shrimp on the barbie on me!
So, good luck & good writing - and g’day, mate!
• JEN’S FREE THROWS gets to the tooth of the matter, by displaying Steve Nash’s dental damage:
• Speaking of Scots, SPORTS COLUMN gives a heads up of Carolina Hurricanes winger Scott Walker throttlin’ with his noggin.
• LARRY BROWN SPORTS leaps at the news of a kangaroo getting its jollies on the golf course (possibly NSFW):
• RIVALFISH thanks Jesus for the return of the Bears’ neckbearded savior, Kyle Orton.
• EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY finds a novel way for QBs to follow receivers’ routes - by using house-arrest ankle bracelets:
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• SI’s Arash Markazi steps to the beat that His Airness likes to boogie to The Jackson 5.
• GOING FIVE HOLE crunches the numbers, as they tune into the new NHL Stats Channel.
SPREAD THE NOOS, PAYTON’S FAVORITE SHOOS ARE BACK!: The BOSTON HERALD reports that the old sneaker band Roos is making a comeback in the U.S. retail market. A Massachusetts-based company has “secured a license from U.K.-based Pentland Group to sell KangaRoos athletic shoes in the U.S. beginning this month, and the company plans to ‘expand into KangaRoos clothing and accessories.’”
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Our one memory of the ’80s version of the shoe was the late, great Walter Payton’s association with the brand.
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We think Sweetness was the only major endorser of the eclectic kicks (”check out our pockets!“), which certainly earns him a place in the pantheon of footwear endorsement greats, like Derrick Coleman (British Knights), Karl Malone (L.A. Gear), and O.J. Simpson (Dingo Boots):
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Sadly, Roos shoes went extinct faster than the Bears’ playoff chances following the glory of Payton’s mid-’80s Bears teams. But here’s hoping the noo shoos will once again finally catch the nation’s fancy thanks to rapidly multiplying retail outlets.
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