The Sad Tale Of ‘White Owl’ Marches On And On

One of the great things about college is that there’s - depending on the size of the student population - anywhere from dozens to hundreds of girls on campus at any time who are completely open to anything. It’s college, hooray, experimenting is fun, whooo. It’s where Girls Gone Wild makes its money, and that’s no accident.

White Owl and Fiancee and Mugshot
(”Why couldn’t this last? It’ll only be 32 years before our relationship doesn’t violate The Rule. Then it’s clean! Come back to me! COME BAAAACK!”)

The problem is that eventually, these young ladies become self-aware; usually, it’s concurrent with a massive increase in sobriety. So when you’re a free-spirited sexagenarian (what? that means between 60 and 69. Grow up. AND GROW UP ABOUT THE 69.) who finds himself, say, engaged to a 22-year-old young lady, just realize this: it’s not going to last, and it’s not going to end well.

Oh, if only our old friend “White Owl” had seen that coming. Well, if he’d been able to, he probably wouldn’t be White Owl in the first place, but we lament all the same as he sits in jail, having violated a protective order against his ex-fiancee. Sigh.

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