SEC Planning To Rule College Football Nationwide

For much of the past two centuries, “The South will rise again” has been a favorite phrase/threat/promise of the sort of people who still call the Civil War the “War of Northern Aggression.” Haughty northerners treated such pronouncements with a mix of pity and disdain for our gauche Southern cousins, but we certainly never took them seriously. What, were they going to load up their pickup trucks full of shotguns and bourbon and come raid Chicago? We thought not, old chaps.

SEC fans

(Photo credit: C’lay Travis)

But of course, as with most things in life, we were wrong. The South is rising again, and soon they will rule us all. They are taking over the country bit by bit…not by musket, alcohol, or fried foodstuffs as one might expect, but by college football. It’s ESS-EEE-SEE speed, and it’s coming to a cold-weather city near you.

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Behind The Douches: “Gators Wear Jean Shorts”

It’s nice to know that the ORLANDO SENTINEL is apparently immune to budget cuts sweeping the newspaper industry. How else can you explain a 1000-word story on jorts?

Chris Leak and Tim Tebow in Jorts

Don’t like you’ve never wondered where the phrase “Gators wear jean shorts,” long the bastion of UF-haters everywhere, originated. Oh, you’ve never wondered? Well too bad, because in the finest piece of investigative journalism since the Pentagon Papers, the Sentinel has dug up the truth. And just in time for the FSU game too! How convenient.

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