• VARIETY shoots up news that “Semi-Pro” was the top grossing film of last weekend, but netted only $15 million - “the lowest opening for a major Will Ferrell comedy in almost a decade.”

• In honor of Felix Pie’s twisted testicle, 100% INJURY RATE painfully looks back on some of the more unusual injuries to have befallen athletes.

• The BALTIMORE SUN is shattered that the Orioles’ Kevin Millar decided to break out the pink bat, only to have it splinter after two trips to the plate.

Read more…

• LARRY BROWN SPORTS would buy anything Greg Oden was selling, based on his performance in this ESPN The Magazine ad:

• CRASHBURN ALLEY draws up news of John Kruk appearing on “Aqua Teen Hunger Force“.

• TIRICO SUAVE has some suggestions for anyone thinking of starting up a Dana Jacobson-inspired sports blog.

• WAGGLE ROOM swings over news that the Australian Women’s Open is in financial trouble.

Maybe they should take a cue from the other Aussie Women’s Open.

• DC SPORTS BOG takes a hair-raising look at the Patriots’ playoff beards.

Read more…

Can this be true? We finally get to know the truth from Ray Lewis?

Ben Maller of FoxSports.com reports today that “Ravens LB Ray Lewis took a lie detector test as part of a segment called ‘Best Damn Moment of Truth,’ a play off of Fox’s new popular reality show.”

“In the segment, which will air during Best Damn on Friday night (check local listings), Lewis is asked numerous questions.”

Wow, that’s pretty amazing, that Lewis would submit to a lie detector test on national television. Read more…

• Scott Wolf of INSIDE USC asks if the Trojans should give up the Booty for the dirty Sanchez:

• Speaking of the men from Troy, CONSTRUDA finds one sad consequence of Stanford’s shocker: the Booties4Booty site is no longer relevant.

• The SOUTH AFRICA INDEPENDENT ONLINE laces up their jogging shoes, as they hope it’s all downhill for the 153-mile Spartathon.

• THE WAYNE FONTES EXPERIENCE seeks some therapy, as they outline the five stages of Detroit Lions fandom:

• DEUCE OF DAVENPORT floats along the idea of beer pong in the pool.

• FIRE JOE MORGAN is looking for a hero, but they won’t find one from John Kruk.

• RANDBALL just wants the free food, as two lucky fans can win access to the Penn State press box:

• 100% INJURY RATE follows through with this hockey player checking himself out of the game.

• THE SPORTS HERNIA is shaking in their boots, as George Steinbrenner makes other tenuous threats to his team.

• OPEN COURT teases us news of Venus Williams changing her hairstyle at 30,000 feet:

• With what went down Monday evening, JOE SPORTS FAN feels that A-Rod could use some friends right now - especially MySpace friends.

• Join the debate, as the folks at FARK call out their choices of worst sports announcer.

STUFFED-CRUST COACHES FACE OFF IN A HEART-POUNDER: BIG TEN TAILGATE is polite to point out that this weekend college football’s most esteemed lardasses, Kansas Coach Mark Mangino and Toledo Coach Tom Amstutz, will be playing sideline seesaw during the Jayhawks-Rockets matchup in Lawrence, KS (if only we weren’t going to USC-Nebraska!).

Last year EDSBS noted that Amstutz was named spokesperson for “Get Fit Toledo!” by the mayor (we hope he had the same lighting and photoshop experts for his promotional posters as Mike Golic and John Kruk).

We’re guessing Mangino is involved in a similar program in Kansas. The only difference being one second-word vowel difference.

ESPNERS WONDER IF BONDS IS BOYCOTTING THEIR GAMES: John Ryan of the SAN JOSE MERCURY NEWS reports that Barry Bonds has not played in the three games in which the Giants have appeared on ESPN this season, leading some to wonder if he is “boycotting the Worldwide Leader.” (Bonds also sat out the ESPN-televised Home Run Derby last week)

After Bonds ducked out of the Giants-Cubs game on ESPN Monday, “Baseball Tonight” host Karl Ravech and analyst John Kruk had this convo:

Ravech: “Barry said yesterday, `I don’t need a day off.’ This is, I believe, Game 3 in a row that the ESPN cameras have been there and he hasn’t played. I can’t believe there’s any connection. That wouldn’t be right to the team.”

Kruk: “You would hope not.”

Ravech: “There’s no way.”

Kruk: “You would hope he doesn’t dislike us that much that he would sit out games.”

Why would Bonds dislike ESPN? Perhaps he was watching SportsCenter Monday when anchor Steve Levy, upon seeing Bonds behind a chain-link fence, remarked “There’s a behind-bars joke there somewhere“.

The comment was later edited out of the broadcast for morning replays.

• WAGGLE ROOM has found a new looker on the ladies’ links in Morgan Pressel:

• The Mighty MJD bids a fond farewell to DEADSPIN.

• The LAFAYETTE JOURNAL & COURIER snuck in to discover that Joe Tiller is closing Purdue football practices to keep away those meddling bloggers:

• MAINICHI DAILY NEWS breaks the news that sumo wrestlers in Japa