Bottom Feed: SbB Powerless Rankings Are Here

Here’s my first SbB Powerless Rankings, which note the least influential prominent sports figures of the moment. The criteria is simple: The folks on the list would have no relevance if it weren’t for blind luck or undue support from their employers.

SbB Powerless Rankings: It's Nothing Personal

1 ) BCS Executive Director Bill Hancock: Most-despised man in sports, yet he has no power to do anything. Figurehead designed to distract fans from the actual, tiny cabal responsible for college football’s dark ages. Pie-in-the-face guy. Light a candle for him.

Baghdad Bill Hancock Executive Director Of The BCS

(‘Baghdad Bill’ Hancock)

2 ) Mike & Mike on ESPN Radio: Without relentless over-promotion by ESPN’s monopoly-enabled monolith, show wouldn’t exist. Perhaps the finest example of just how powerful ESPN has become as a sports marketing machine. Greenberg at least has a semblance of talent in a controlled setting - witness his SportsCenter performances.

Mike & Mike Mike Greenberg Mike Golic

3 ) The McCourts: The underfunded couple was handed the Dodgers by Bud Selig and MLB Owners to artificially limit payrolls in MLB’s larger markets and the NL West. Stole $120M from franchise to fund their personal lifestyles. Anonymous in L.A. outside the ownership suite - even despite the recent coverage.

Frank and Jamie McCourt Divorce

4 ) Mark Cuban: Great at selling tickets and advertising but too enamored with his own, overrated basketball IQ. Needs to hire good basketball people and get out of the way. By alienating other owners and David Stern, doesn’t have nearly the influence in league matters that he should.

Mark Cuban mad

5 ) Jim Nantz: Rakes in millions in salary and perks from CBS gig, but would one less person watch a CBS sports telecast if he wasn’t calling the game? From local radio appearances, appears to have an interesting personality and provocative opinions, but once he’s national he goes dullard on us.

Jim Nantz

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Video: ESPN’s John Clayton Rescued Lab Animal?

Video of ESPN reporter and pro football hall of famer John Clayton:

John Clayton Pony Tail Video

Dude’s now a PETA protest on wheels. Bless his heart.

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Favre Keeps ESPN From Attacking Cutler’s Agent?

Brett Favre has received doe eyes from the media since, well, since he became culturally relevant after taking over as Green Bay’s starting quarterback nearly two decades ago. In the process, handfuls of NFL reporters and talking heads had to get close to his agent, Bus Cook, to find out what Favre was thinking, and get inside enough to report on it. Now, they have to get through Cook to understand what in God’s name is going on with Jay Cutler, and there’s plenty of reason to believe that while Cook is one of the bus drivers pushing the entire Cutler-Denver controversy, he’s not getting any criticism from ESPN because the network so desperately wants to hire his other, more famous client as an NFL analyst.

brett favre bus cook

(The real reason for Bus Cook’s sudden deification is standing just to the right of him. Here’s a hint about who he is: He’s really famous and wearing a white t-shirt.)

The theory was first postulated this morning by PROFOOTBALLTALK writer Mike Florio, and we think he’s really on to something. After all, if you believe FOX SPORTS’s John Czarnecki, Cook was already asking Denver to trade Cutler, before the Broncos even started tossing his name out to the wolves of the NFL market. Instead of telling the truth about what’s really happening behind the scenes — that Cook is helping Cutler agitate for a trade — ESPN is deifying him as the most upright of all agents, hoping to make inroads into landing Favre for the network’s analyst chair.

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Blog Jam: Williams Was Invited To Benson’s Boat

Bill Williamson of ESPN’s HASHMARKS tokes up word that Ricky Williams could have joined in on the fun of Cedric Benson’s big boating adventure.

Cedric Benson boat party Ricky Williams

• THE SIDNEY CROSBY SHOW skates over video of the Pittsburgh Penguins having some post-game fun with Flyers fans.

• HOME RUN DERBY knows how heated the Cubs-Cardinals rivalry can be, especially when it comes to rigging a jalapeno-eating contest.

• Did your mom sleep with Wilt Chamberlain? THE WORLD OF ISAAC offers this helpful quiz to find out.

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ESPN Making Films; Erin Andrews as Snow White?

The NEW YORK TIMES projects news that ESPN is looking to broaden its broadcasting brilliance to the big screen.

Erin Andrews Lee Corso

The Worldwide Leader is focused on collaborating with Walt Disney Studios and Creative Artists Agency to produce & distribute sports-themed theatrical releases in the next few years. And the network is already making cinematic strides by hiring 30 filmmakers to produce one-hour mini-movies, set to start showing on the small screen in September 2009.

As the bigwigs try to brainstorm for feature film ideas, Mike Bianchi of the ORLANDO SENTINEL proposes remaking a Disney family favorite - featuring the ESPN Primetime Players. Read more…

ESPN Drives Stake Through Salisbury’s TV Career

Michael David Smith of AOL FANHOUSE reports that ESPN’s Sean Salisbury is setting sail from Bristol.

Sean Salisbury No Internet

The NFL analyst is parting ways with the Worldwide Leader after 12 years of service. But he didn’t leave without selling himself to potential employers. Read more…

Blogs: Romo Not Such A Big Favre Devotee After All

• JOE SPORTS FAN finds that Tony Romo isn’t so enamored with Brett Favre after all:

Brett Favre Tony Romo

• Darren Rovell of CNBC pours a 40 in remembrance of the inventor of Gatorade.• The COLUMBIA (SC) STATE hears that the Ol’ Ball Coach is not in the running for any recent job vacancies.

• NEW YORK NEWSDAY beholds the power of free t-shirts.

• During Joe Gibbs’ Tuesday press conference, AWFUL ANNOUNCING spots a vision of ESPN analyst John Clayton:

• For the University of New Orleans basketball team, STORMING THE FLOOR learns there’s no place like (being away from) home.• THE WORLD OF ISAAC takes a fond look back at the brilliant draft picks of Matt Millen.

• AOL FANHOUSE thinks the Tennessee Titans have the worst nickname in sports.