Mariano Rivera has given his life to Christ, even marking his glove with Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ who is strengthening me.” In that spirit, he approached fellow (then-)Yankee reliever Scott Proctor and urged him to clean up his act. It took a few years, but Proctor (now out for the year for the Marlins) finally took Rivera’s advice and joined Alcoholics Anonymous for his drinking problem.
In a conversation with THE NEW YORK TIMES’ Tyler Kepner, Proctor admitted that he partied too hard and drank far too much to be his best at all times. He also told the TIMES that he doesn’t remember many family events washed away by booze. He’s now recovering from elbow surgery and alcoholism, rehabbing from both with the same intensity.
Therefore, Frank’s more than a little peeved at Manny Ramirez making him look asinine for signing him as Manny sits at home. Frank McCourt demands action. Now that he’s spoken to Manny himself, he wants Manny to speak to his Dodgers teammates. Apparently, walks of shame are now inspirational.
The 58th All-Star game is in the books, and the West absolutely destroyed the East, 146-117. At one point, it was 20-8 in favor of the East All-Stars before Kobe Bryant led the West on a 19-0 run, and the Westies never looked back. It’s hard to imagine what was the better Shaquille O’Neal highlight: going between Dwight Howard’s legs for the give-and-go with Chris Paul, or the entrance with that “Jabbawockeez” dance group that’s inexplicably* all over the TV these days. Here’s that intro (thanks, BALL DON’T LIE).
Shaq and Kobe shared the MVP award, which seemed fitting. Kobe tossed in the most points on the night (27), which is usually an automatic win, but Shaq was both far more efficient (17 points on 8-9 shooting in only 11 minutes) and entertaining; this might be the Big Aristotle’s last All-Star game, so he made it count last night.
At some point, with all the ACC losses piling up, you’d think it would no longer be fun or newsworthy to point out another Duke loss. You’d think that, but you’d be very wrong. After having their asses handed to them by UNC last week, the Blue Devils went to the Silvio O. Conte Forum to face a Boston College team that hadn’t beaten Duke in 24 years. Bounce back for the Blue Devils against an unrated BC team?
Err, not exactly. Duke led 37-32 at the break, but the Golden Eagles came alive in the second half, ringing up 48 points in those 20 minutes against the vaunted Blue Devil defense. Senior leader Tyrese Rice drops 21, 6, and 6, Joe Trapani chips in 20 more, 80-74 is your final, and Duke is now 7-4 in the ACC. Dick Vitale must be inconsolable.
Let’s say you find yourself in the middle of Scotland with a dildo in my mouth. I mean your mouth. Anyway, let’s move on. Stuart Slann, a married 39-year-old Manchester United fan from Sheffield (this is all in England, in case you couldn’t tell), met “Emma,” a sexy babe who was also a ManU fan on Facebook, and the two hit it off. One problem: Emma, as you’ve already guessed, did not and does not actually exist, but Stuart didn’t find that out until driving 400 miles north and receiving a rather unfortunate phone call. Oh, and as we mentioned before, Emma really wanted to see a dildo in Slann’s mouth, so now… whoops.
(This image is in no way modified to remove the sex toy. He was just eating corn. That’s all.)
UNPROFESSIONAL FOUL has the uncensored video, which is just basically some text, 2 minutes of the uncensored version of the picture above, and - as far as we can tell - rampant profanity (they’re Scottish, so who can tell). As you can guess, Slann’s wife wasn’t very pleased, and the two have now split. Oof. This never happens to Pompey fans. Just sayin’.
Marshawn Lynch faces felony gun charges after police found a loaded handgun in his car. Honestly, as long as he’s not shooting a bouncer at a strip club or shooting himself in the leg, I think the NFL’s making progress here. They might even be gun-free by 204never.
According to the CEDAR RAPIDS GAZETTE, former Iowa State head coach and current national champion Florida assistant coach Dan McCarney’s daughter was arrested for assaulting a police officer in Iowa City. The details, which include the ever-popular “MY LAST NAME IS MCCARNEY,” are golden.
You know why the dunk contest sucked this year? No Guy Dupuy, who’s probably the most vicious dunking Frenchman in history (can we get him to posterize Frederic Weis? Wouldn’t that be fitting?). Make that happen in 2010, NBA. Even T.O. knows it’s over.
Joe Torre tries the Jedi Mind Trick on Manny Ramirez, telling reporters “I definitely would be very surprised if he’s not a Dodger,” then when pressed admitting that’s just because it’s what Torre wants. Knowing Manny, there’s a chance this might actually work.
San Diego pitcher Heath Bell’s secret to losing weight? The Wii Fit. The Padres’ S&C coach is giving you the finger as hard as he can, Heath.
For whatever reason, some reporter actually asked Allen Iverson if he was going to heaven or hell. How he didn’t end up quoting that 2pac poster that everyone in the world had 10-15 years ago is beyond me. But it’s wrong anyway, because now SbB readers can judge Alley I too…
*Yes, I know they won that thing on TV. That doesn’t make it okay.
Joe Torre’s been taking plenty of heat for his tell-all “The Yankee Years”, and his role in other books, for that matter, but one of the things that came out of his inevitable media slobbing to tout the tome was a rather noble gesture, and one that, to the best of our knowledge, hasn’t been taken up by any other notable sports celebrities: He’s advocating gay players come out of the closet.
When Torre was on LARRY KING LIVE, one viewer wrote in asking if he saw a time in the future where gay players, like Billy Bean, wouldn’t have to wait until retiring to come out of the closet. Torre’s answer was pretty unequivocal, and unwavering: He hopes they can already.
Let’s face it, Joe Torre is no Jim Bouton, and “The Yankee Years” is certainly no “Ball Four.” But the two tell-all memoirs share more in common than the ability to piss off a lot of people.
Tom Hoffarth of the LOS ANGELES DAILY NEWS has done the dirty work and combed through “Ball Four” to find all the references to Torre, a first baseman/catcher with the Cardinals at the time. What he did find is more entertaining than anything in “The Yankee Years,” but I think we’re all thankful for that, considering it involved “Joe Torre with tits.”
I cringe when I hear the words “lynching” and “South Carolina” in the same sentence. But this is about as bizarre as it gets. THE STATE is reporting that Tanya Seymour, the wife of New England Patriots defensive lineman Richard Seymour, was arrested on Thursday and charged with second-degree lynching stemming from an incident at a New Year’s Eve party. (This is what happens when you change the channel from “Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Year’s Eve” to MTV without asking.)
I’m sure your initial reaction is the same as mine: lynching? Turns out that no ropes were used: PRO FOOTBALL TALK breaks down the South Carolina Code of Laws, which defines second-degree lynching as “any act of violence inflicted by a mob upon the body of another person and from which death does not result.” So maybe not quite as horrific as you would first think, but still not good.
Police allege that Tanya Seymour was among a group of people who “jumped” two women at a New Year’s Eve party after they had got into an argument and were asked to leave. The arrest affidavit claims that Tanya Seymour was part of the mob, and punched the two women several times in the face and body. Oddly enough, the affidavit also claims that she had use of illegally obtained scouting videos to prepare for the beatdown.
The injuries were fairly minor, including bruises, a busted lip and a sprained wrist. One of the women also claimed that her scalp was sore from having it pulled during the fight. And in one of the most obvious statements I’ve ever seen in a news story:
“The victims left after the attack, the incident report says.”
Really? Because I heard some people were making a run for another keg.
And speaking of beatdowns: Joe Torre might want to be leery if David Wells invites him to watch the Super Bowl with some of his buddies at his place this weekend. The NEW YORK DAILY NEWS says that Wells has vowed to “knock him out” if he ever sees Torre on the street after his former skipper ripped him in his new book. Specifically, Torre compared Wells to Kevin Brown, except that “both make your life miserable, but David Wells meant to.”
And of course Wells has a great response to those allegations: sure, he was a total pain, but not on purpose. Like when he would yell at Torre in the locker room because the manager had the temerity to turn down his boombox when he was blasting it before the games. Or get in drunken fistfights at diners at all hours of the night. Based on Wells’ health issues and Type 2 Diabetes, Torre might want to carry around some concealed Pixy Stix in case he needs a weapon to defend himself against an attack.
…and No. 1 on David Letterman’s Top Ten Reasons He Likely Won’t Field an IndyCar Team This Year: no money. Not very funny, but then again, his partner Bobby Rahal isn’t laughing as he tells the INDIANAPOLIS STAR that while Rahal Letterman Racing will likely field a car at the Indianapolis 500, a lack of sponsorship will probably keep the team from the full IndyCar season.
Meanwhile, the economic mess is also hitting north of the border, as THE CANADIAN PRESS reports that Toronto Blue Jays assistant general manager Bart Given was let go as a cost-cutting move. Or as part of a power play between the team’s interim CEO Paul Beeston and GM J.P. Ricciardi. Either way, Given gets to enjoy the Canadian unemployment system, which I believe includes 100 percent benefits and a free, stress-relieving massage.
More economic cutbacks in NASCAR, as the CHARLOTTE OBSERVER notes that new rules to cut back on costs have been instituted in the Truck Series for 2009. The most shocking? All trucks will be replaced by 1974 El Caminos.
Usually a 61-52 loss would be cause for concern, but it’s pretty understandable when the team on the losing end is North Carolina State and it’s their first game since the death of their legendary coach Kay Yow. The WINSTON-SALEM JOURNAL has details of their painful first game back.
Really, Bobby Estalella is the smoking gun in the Feds’ case against Barry Bonds? ESPN.COM has the latest information, although I’m shocked that Jeff Kent hasn’t volunteered to bury Barry yet.
How often is the marquee men’s college basketball game of the night in the West Coast Conference? Gonzaga stops St. Mary’s 15-game winning streak by handing the Gaels a 69-62 defeat.
SOCCER AMERICA says that the San Jose Earthquakes are set to make millions from their latest sponsorship deal: they’ll be wearing the Amway logo on their jerseys. The downside is that their players will be going door-to-door selling household products.
Didn’t we all know that this was going to happen? As soon as a Joe Torre tell-all but hits the edge of the horizon, the former Yankees manager immediately backpedals off his statements, reaches out to New York GM Brian Cashman in (alleged) friendship and throws the paper that ran with his pinstripe trashing under the bus.
(Oh boy. This is getting awkward.)
Good luck with that, NEW YORK POST. See what happens when your reputation precedes you?
In fact, the more quotes you read, the more it becomes clear that Joe Torre’s ‘tell-all’, “The Yankee Years”, isn’t anything close to a tell-all. Instead, it’s a former employee bitching about a few uncomfortable situations and hardships he had to overcome. So who’s responsible for this book being blown into the stratosphere of hype and expectations? A combination of SPORTS ILLUSTRATED writer Tom Verducci, who first connected the phrase “A-Fraud” with Torre, and the NEW YORK POST, which had the lack of editorial discretion to run an unattributed assertion as an enormous, splashed back page headline.
It’s an absolute journalistic joke on both fronts, and Torre knows it. That’s why he reached out to Cashman with an apology and request to maintain their friendship. That’s why he’s now saying that he’ll always be close to the Yankees organization. That’s why the final result of this whole brouhaha will almost assuredly be a POST retraction.
And that, dear friends, isn’t a good thing for newspapers or the book industry. Though it will help sell copies of “The Yankee Years” for sure. And that means, in the end, the big winner may be Torre after all. Some people just have all the luck, don’t they?
Not Micah Grimes. He doesn’t have any luck. Then again, he’s not exactly helping his own case these days. Remember the Texas high school girls’ basketball coach who authorized a 100-0 win last week? Well, we can now officially call him the “former Texas high school girls’ basketball coach”, after Grimes was officially fired by Covenant High School on Sunday, hours after he disagreed with a public apology issued by the school in the midst of a firestorm of sportsmanship controversy.
Really, there should be no controversy here. If Grimes had the pluck to call out his administrators for apologizing, than he has no right to call himself a self-respecting coach. Winning 100-0 is bad enough, trying to defend it to the ends of the earth is much worse.
Yet, the deeper you read into this DALLAS MORNING NEWS article by Barry Horn — which we found from a nice tip off by the ONLINE SPORTS GUYS — the clearer it becomes that a small school girls’ basketball coach was obsessed with being right, not providing a decent platform from which his athletes could learn about competition and themselves.
For the record, here’s exactly what Grimes said about the concept of apologizing for his team’s audacious, 100-0 victory:
“I respectfully disagree with the apology, especially the notion that the Covenant School girls basketball team should feel ‘embarrassed’ or ‘ashamed,’ ” part of his blog’s post on FLIGHT BASKETBALL says. “We played the game as it was meant to be played and would not intentionally run up the score on any opponent. Although a wide-margin victory is never evidence of compassion, my girls played with honor and integrity and showed respect to Dallas Academy.”
Yikes. Well, good luck on the job hunt Senor Grimes. At least your resume has something no one else’s will right at the end: A 100-0 win.
And before you think we’re all doom and gloom here at SbB this morning, we’d be absolutely remiss if we didn’t address Shaun White’s latest feat of snowboarding history. The Flying Tomato put together a sick final run in Aspen to win Superpipe gold at X-Games 13, proving that he could overcome just about every jinx possible to win back-to-back gold medals, becoming the first snowboarded (man or woman) to pull off the feat in the process.
How’d he do it? With tenacity, final run gumption and a healthy dose of whirling 1080s. White was literally on his final shot to come back from last place in the finals. He fell on both of his first two runs, and conditions kept deteriorating, to the point where TV shots that weren’t closeups seemed clouded in snow.
No matter. White still put together his best run of the night — the best run of the entire competition, as it turned out — with his back against the wall, edging out an outstanding silver medal-winning performance from Kevin Pearce, who looked like he’d finally reached the moutaintop before the man who just doesn’t feel pressure came and knocked him off.
It’s more than we can say about Gretchen Bleiler, though, with the photo below, there’s plenty more to say. There’s always plenty to say about the lovely Ms. Bleiler.
Ahh, time for some links with the morning coffee. Let’s start with some hoops, shall we:
Just when it looked like the Spurs were poised for a run back up the Western Conference standings, along come the Lakers and Andrew Bynum. J.A. Adande seems to be the first columnist pointing out that Bynum’s 15 points on Tim Duncan Sunday were more significant than his monster game against the woeful Wizards last week. No matter. Eventually everyone will get that, and it’s pretty stinking significant. It really is.
In case you missed it, Lionel Hollinsis officially the Grizzlies coach … again. Only this time he doesn’t have the interim tag. All of which raises a fascinating question: If he gets hired, but accepts a demotion to assistant coach, can he then succeed the next inevitable Memphis firing as an interim coach for a third time? It might be worth it for historical significance.
Wait a minute: The Browns hired a GM and he’s a close personal friend of new coach Eric Mangini? What ever happened to hedging your bets, anyway?
In case you missed it, Arizona’s Chase Budinger had his face outright stomped on by Houston’s Aubrey Coleman on Saturday night. The downside? Things didn’t quite work out the way Coleman expected: He got ejected, and the Wildcats rallied for a crazy win.
Michael Vick took a PETA test on animal empathy. Think he’d shoot for suck-up status and an “A”? Nah, son, this is Michael Vick. He got a “C”.
When has an empty net goal ever incited a brawl? You ask, but it really happened. Just check out the video below.
For a league that was just sent into a bizarre new television deal, is the MLS sure it wants to expand again? Really? Hmmm. So what are the teams in Miami and Vancouver going to be called?
Speaking of American soccer, remember that Landon Donovan guy? He’s looking pretty good for Bayern Munchen right now. The Galaxy might have to start thinking about life without both its two biggest stars.
What would you say if we told you the woman below — Portugese TV host Isabel Figuera — had 1) already had a child and 2) was back on the free agent market? Seems like a worthwhile investment, doesn’t it? How does she relate to sports? Oh pipe down, she used to be married to a Portugese soccer star (César Peixoto), of course.
Someday Joe Torre is going to be in the Hall of Fame as a manager. The only question is which cap he will be wearing on his bust: Dodgers, Cardinals, Mets or Braves? Because based on the contents of his new autobiography, it sure as hell won’t be the Yankees. The NEW YORK POST says that the book, entitled “The Yankee Years,” is filled with just the sort of juicy tidbits and accusations you would expect from anything involving the Yankees.
The book, co-written by SI baseball scribe Tom Verducci, is not on sale at Amazon.com until Feb. 3, but the newspaper was able to obtain an advance copy through lots of hard work and close sources. Meaning: they went to a bookstore in New York that was selling it early and bought a copy. In the book, Torre goes into great detail about his exit and his relationship with Yankee brass, but he also has some special words for Alex Rodriguez - and they aren’t good:
The NEW YORK POST buries the lead with this gem today on the Manny Ramirez sweepstakes:
(Look, Manny, over there! … Psyche!)
The Dodgers have offered Ramirez a two-year deal worth $60 million to remain in Los Angeles, but he is expected to file for free agency and look for a four-year deal in the $80 million range.
How do you not lead a story with the fact that the guy could be getting the highest single-season salary in baseball history? Probably because it isn’t going to happen. At least not with the Dodgers.
The club, per John Ireland at KSPN-AM in Los Angeles, has not made any offer to Ramirez yet. Nor has team GM Ned Colletti even spoken to Ramirez agent Scott Boras yet. Though Dodger Owner Frank McCourt is likely to take the lead in the negotiations when they heat up.
The funny thing about the reportage though is I do believe the Post may well have gotten the news of the offer from the Dodgers.
