The NFL never rests. Need proof? Wasn’t last week the Pro Bowl? And now we’re, what, a few days away from the NFL Scouting Combine? And don’t even get me started about cheerleader mini-camp. That’s already in full swing in Dallas, apparently.

Yeah, you heard me correctly.

The Cowboys’ cheerleaders had a mini-camp on Saturday at South Plains College. They apparently taught folks their moves. More likely, they cured the hangovers of more than a few middle-aged men.

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A hat tip to the LADIES… for discovering what former ESPN announcer and pro baller Joe Theismann is doing with his free time - pimping snack food none of us have even heard of before the Super Bowl:

(Scroll to about 2:55 or so on the video for the blatant plug for “Town House FlipSides”)

I have some sympathy for Theismann’s gritting his teeth as the Raleigh, NC, station he happens to be on reeks of morning show to me. As someone who’s written and produced a morning newscast, these satellite media tours (SMTs) are a regular annoyance in my inbox — and they only increase during Super Bowl week, with more has-beens and never-weres looking to use news time to sell the public absolute crap.

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• Well-known sports blogger MJD has taken his typing to the land of YAHOO SPORTS. And he’s kind of glad Brett Favre lost on Sunday - otherwise, it would have been two more weeks of viewing this:

• The NEW YORK TIMES learns how Eli Manning spent his Sunday night - watching SportsCenter highlights of himself.

• PRO FOOTBALL TALK is relieved that Joe Theismann doesn’t mind being called ‘Joey Sunshine.’

• Darren Rovell of CNBC reports that Under Armour’s Super Bowl ad might be more costly than they thought.

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The DETROIT FREE PRESS asks today: “Does Joe Theismann want Matt Millen’s job?”

We’re pointing this out because we don’t really think Theismann was pining for Matt Millen’s job when he said recently on WSCR-AM in Chicago, “Could I or anybody do a better job (with the Lions)? I don’t know. But it would be a wonderful challenge“. And piling on with an opinion that Detroit Lions president Matt Millen “hasn’t helped former players get into management because he’s done a lousy job.”

But it is undeniable that Tony Kornheiser tackling dummies would do wonders for a team that has never appeared in the Super Bowl.

But the Lions better hurry, since it’s not like Theismann has spent an entire season virtually out of sight in the football broadcasting world (consulting with Jim Fassel on landing on your feet probably wasn’t the best idea right out of the box).

Remember when TV play-by-play announcer Mike Patrick went off the rails three months ago, flubbing a crucial play during an ESPN college football broadcast because he was talking on-air about Britney Spears? Well AWFUL ANNOUNCING reports that he was back on Britney’s (ever-expanding) bandwagon (and Jamie Lynn’s!) Thursday night during something called the Champs Sports Bowl on ESPN.

Patrick’s on-air partner Todd Blackledge: “Do you have Britney Spears on your I-Pod too?”
Patrick: “No….No…..Fortunately……………She may have lent out the Double Wide. To another family member (giggles uncontrollably)”

Are we the only ones out there who have always wondered why ESPN hands plum PBP assignments to Patrick? I suppose we shouldn’t get greedy, though. Patrick’s previous partner, Joe Theismann, is off the air. And another on-air acquaintance, Paul Maguire, is banished to backup college games on ESPN. So we won’t push our luck, and MP seems harmless enough, usually getting the score and down-and-distance right. Usually.

As an urelated cheap shot aside, we recently had someone in front of us in the cashier’s checkout line at a Mississippi truck stop (don’t ask) buy five cartons of cigarettes . Before that frightful experience, Mike Patrick was the only person we could’ve imagined initiating such a transaction.

While gearing up for their first bowl appearance in six years, Mississippi State received a special surprise during Wednesday’s practice:

Joe Theismann!

The ex-NFL QB, ex-ESPN analyst and semi-successful restauranteur visited the Bulldogs in Memphis as they were preparing for Saturday’s Liberty Bowl contest against Central Florida.

Theismann currently resides in the Tennessee city, and has been friends with MSU coach Sylvester Croom since their days together in the pros. Joe told the ‘Dogs to “relish the moment” of taking part in post-season play and “cherish the friendships” built during their collegiate careers.

Oh, and to boycott “Monday Night Football”. And are they hiring in the MSU media department back in Starkville? (OK, maybe not the last two.)

We’re not sure if Joe also told the Bulldogs to break a leg.

• Don’t forget to pick Kansas King Kong Mark Mangino for DEADSPIN’s Sports Human Of The Year:

• FOOTBALL GAB breaks the leg news of Joe Theismann netting $4 million not to work for ESPN.

• FREE DARKO goes through the mail, and uncovers this 1993 letter from President Bill Clinton to timeout-taker Chris Webber.

• CORN NATION is happy to report that ex-Husker coach Bill Callahan has found his true calling:

• THE SPORTS HERNIA prepares for the hilarity sure to ensue at the Mike & Mike Celebrity Roast.

• The SACRAMENTO BEE pays tribute to Warriors fan and basketball mom Ann Barnes.

• Despite injuries and only one tournament win in 2007, DOWN THE LINE cashes in news that Maria Sharapova is still rollin’ in dough:

• Speaking of green, SIGNAL TO NOISE learns that the Worldwide Leader has a big stake in the college football post-season, since they own five bowls.

• LARRY BROWN SPORTS sticks their beak into the Ravens crowing about bad officiating.

• FOOTBALL JESUS LAS VEGAS has some holiday gift ideas for the frugal female football fan:

• BLOG OF HILARITY needs some words of encouragement, as former UFC champ Chuck Liddell has been hanging with self-helpster Tony Robbins.

• PINSTRIPE POSTS gets a leg up on why Joe Torre isn’t at the Winter Meetings - the Dodgers manager needs a new knee.

COULD KORNHEISER BE CALLING IT QUITS ON MON. NIGHTS? Tony Kornheiser may be taking his ball and going home, as he’s rumored to be quitting “Monday Night Football“:

DEADSPIN hears via DCRTV that the “MNF” boothster and Joe Theismann nemesis may hang up the headphones after this season.Korny apparently wants to devote more time to his ‘PTI’ program on ESPN, and get ready for his new local morning radio show in Washington.

The Worldwide Leader went to all that trouble to give Joe the boot, and this is how they’re thanked? What a shame.Well, no, not really.

THEISMANN NOT RED-FACED ABOUT KIMMEL’S MNF QUIP: Joe Theismann and Jimmy Kimmel decided to let bygones be bygones and bury the hatchet.

Kimmel made headlines from the Monday Night Football booth, when he gave a hello to Theismann sitting at home with “steam coming out of his ears.”The meeting of the mouths came on Wednesday’s Dave Dameshek Show on 710 ESPN in Los Angeles.

When Kimmel came on the air, he immediately took issue with Dameshek’s pre-segment promotion: “You’ve been advertising this as mano y mano. It’s mano a mano - ‘hand to hand’. Mano y mano means ‘hand with hand’. You make it sound like Joe and I will be holding hands.”

Upon talking to Theismann, Kimmel clarified his Monday night crack: “I was not making fun of Joe Theismann. I was just making everyone else in the booth uncomfortable.”Theismann admitted he was watching “CSI” at the time of the controversial quip, but said he got a chuckle of it when he heard about it afterwards. Joe also made a correction to Kimmel’s comment, saying, “The steam was coming out of my nose, not my ears.”

Joe fondly remembered a previous broadcast moment with Jimmy. Right before air, Kimmel had leaned over to Theismann and said, “So, how’s the leg?”

The chatter was cordial and friendly between the media superstars, even suggesting the two work together on their own football project. As Theismann pointed out, “Neither one of us are going to be on ‘Monday Night’ ever again“Kimmel hoped the on-air discussion would quell any questions about any ongoing rifts, concluding, “Like Joe’s leg, this has healed.” Theismann quickly responded, “My leg is short and crooked.”

MONEY HONEY LIKES ‘EM BLOATED, BEET-RED AND BITTER: From what we understand, the new Fox Business Channel is off to a rip-roaring start. And while CNBC has brown-eyed beauty Maria Bartiromo, Fox counters with their own “Money Honey” Alexis Glick:

Glick’s bio claims she’s a massive sports fan, and we believe it, especially considering her comment to Joe Theismann following an interview today on FBC with the bloated, beet-red and bitter one: “You might be the most handsome football player I’ve ever sat next to.”