If Vegas actually had a betting line on Pete Rose making it into the Baseball Hall of Fame, it would have probably been taken off the board for “suspicious activity” after the events of the last few days. The odds improved significantly when Henry Aaron - a close friend of Commissioner Bud Selig - mentioned to reporters that he’d like to see Rose in the Hall of Fame, leading to a report by the NEW YORK DAILY NEWS that Selig was “seriously considering” lifting Rose’s lifetime ban.

But if ESPN is correct, betting on seeing Rose anywhere in Cooperstown other than selling autographs at a card table might be a sucker bet. Their sources are saying that Selig is not considering reinstating Rose, leaving him to be happy with his place in the Soup Bowl Haircut Hall of Fame (alongside sartorial luminaries as Moe Howard, Chairman Mao and Jim Carrey from “Dumb and Dumber”).

Personally, I could care less one way or the other - at this point, the only way Rose actually makes it into the Hall of Fame is through the Veterans Committee, and they are chock full of grumpy old men who would keep people out of the Hall of Fame for not wearing suits and hats on their train rides during road trips, much less betting on baseball. The only person I feel sorry for is Ray Fosse, as he has to deal with a new round of awkward questions about Rose turning him into a tackling dummy and ruining his career.

All of which Rose finds pretty funny, I guess:

And speaking of “suspicious activity,” I guess you can go ahead and add The Big Security Threat to Shaquille O’Neal’s list of monikers. While appearing on “The Mike Wise Show” a few days ago to promote his stint tonight on WWE Raw, he asked the hosts if they thought he could get into the White House and meet President Barack Obama if he dropped in unannounced. DC SPORTS BOG has the answer, and it’s a resounding “No.”

Shaq actually tried it yesterday, as part of a bet (1,000 push-ups) with one of his handlers. While the guys at the front gate were “nice,” they weren’t going to let Shaq act like this is a Tonight Show episode from 1982, and he’s Bob Hope interrupting an interview between Johnny Carson and an 82-year-old shoe collector to do a walk-through on the way to his latest special. Between the economy, the Middle East and studying the White Sox roster to find Walt Weiss, President Obama might have better things to do.

As far as Raw is Shaq went: he hung out with a leprechaun:

…and then kissed a sweaty guy prone to bouts of irrational anger:

So yeah, I can’t imagine why they wouldn’t want him hanging around the Oval Office.

Finally, Jim Bunning might be a Hall of Fame pitcher, but it turns out that the Republican Party has no problem pulling him early and telling him to hit the showers. The WASHINGTON POST says that the Senator from Kentucky is bowing to pressure within his own party and will not run for re-election in 2010, a political fall from grace that would have been almost unthinkable a few years ago.

Of course, it turns out that openly discussing when a Supreme Court Justice with “the bad cancer” is going to die isn’t the savviest political move. And his “lousy” fundraising so far for the race - he only $376,000 in his war chest - isn’t helping matters either. Or the persistent rumors that he’s dealing with Alzheimer’s-related dementia - you know, the “bad dementia.” All of which adds up to his seat being widely considered as the most vulnerable in the 2010 elections, making him a problem the Republicans couldn’t ignore any longer.

So what happens to the 77-year-old Bunning? Perhaps a seat on the Veterans Committee - or at least a table at a card show next to Pete Rose.

Other sports news that happened while you were accidentally shooting three people with your brand-new Taser gun.

• If the Washington Nationals were looking to enhance the trade value of Josh Willingham, they just received the Mother Lode of all gifts last night. He became the 13th player in MLB history to hit two grand slams in one game in the Nats’ 14-6 rout of the Brewers. To put this into perspective, Willingham had 14 home runs this season - 12 solo shots, and 31 RBI. So the real story here is that the Nationals actually loaded the bases twice in one game.



• Speaking of grand slams: Alfonso Soriano’s walk-off slam in the 13th inning gave the Cubs a 5-1 win over the Astros. Meanwhile, Matt Holliday had an RBI double in his home debut with St. Louis and Brendan Ryan had four hits as the Cardinals stayed a half-game back in the NL Central with a 6-1 win over Los Angeles.
• Yesterday we told you that the crowd of 180,000 at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway for the Brickyard 400 on Sunday was a huge disappointment. Turns out we weren’t the only ones who felt that way - the SPORTING NEWS says that Allstate will not be renewing their title sponsorship of the race.
• Police feel they are making a break in the case of former Memphis Grizzlies player Antonio Burke, who was shot in the leg and abdomen during a robbery of a dice game at his house on July 20 - they’ve arrested a 16-year-old as an accessory after the fact in the shooting.
• And it’s one, two, three punches and you’re knocked unconscious at the old ball game! At least it was in Irvine, CA as a baseball game turned rowdy, with a steal attempt turning into a brawl that left four people taken the hospital and two people arrested.
• Here’s what you need to know about Jerry Byrd Jr., a high school football coach in Shreveport, LA: he came to the Superior Bar and Grill to do two things - drink some beers and get arrested for disorderly conduct. And he’s been cut off from having more beers.
• If you’re young son is a budding tennis prodigy and you’re looking for a tennis academy for him, here’s a good rule of thumb: if the coach says he’ll need nude pictures of your kid for his computer records, you might want to look elsewhere.
• Anyone claiming to be”TheRealJoePa” on Twitter is a fraud, as Joe Paterno will have none of your “Twittle-do, Twittle-dee,” thank you very much.
• BALL DON’T LIE points out that nothing says “I love you” like Stephon Marbury Valentine’s Day cards. For that special, totally insane person in your life.
• You might remember Caleb Campbell as the former West Point football stand-out whose shot at the NFL was taken away from him when the Army backed out on a deal. Now he’s getting his second shot at athletic glory - this time as a potential Olympic bobsledder.

Obviously, the patron saint of football (and maybe even sports in general) in Pennsylvania is Joe Paterno. He’s iconic. He’s superfamous. He’s more loved than Barack Obama’s puppy. And now he’s the face of a restaurant in Shippensburg.

Yes, it’s “JoePa’s Sports Grille,” replete with a cardboard cutout of the wise old coach. General Manager Mike Shall says their goal is to “offer a positive environment along with good food and drink,” and who can complain about that? And JoePa! Who know he wanted to get into the restauranting game this far along in his life?

Um, this was his idea, right? Right?

Read more…

Long the target for criticisms of incompetence and nepotism, Penn State quarterbacks coach Jay Paterno (the son, obviously, of famous zombie Joe Paterno) came into his own in 2008 as one of the minds behind Penn State’s new “Spread HD” offense, a term that still might not mean a damn thing. The offense easily led the Big Ten in production, and the Nittany Lions were one last-second field goal away from likely playing for a national title.

(Boy, when I saw him work that overhead projector, I thought, “wow, this guy’s going places.”)

Moreover, “JayPa” also made waves by actively campaigning for Barack Obama, who we’re told is the “president” of the country now (never heard of that term before, weird). He even published blog entries on Obama’s website during the “work day,” which gave people an excuse to engage in phony outrage (“why aren’t you coaching?!?!?” etc., etc.). And now as he’s begun giving speeches to Democrats and journalists, the PHILADELPHIA DAILY NEWS’s John Baer wonders, is a career in politics in the works? Read more…

A few days ago, I thought that nothing could in the Celtics vs. Bulls series could top Boston’s wild OT victory over Chicago in Game 5, featuring Paul Pierce playing out of his mind to carry Boston to the win, Kirk Hinrich getting tripped by Rajon Rondo and smashing his face on the floor, or Brad Miller almost getting his faced ripped off (again by Rondo) before missing potential game-tying free throws with two seconds left to seal the victory for the Celtics.

But after last night’s Game 6 in Chicago,  I was clearly very, very wrong, as the Bulls’ 128-127 win in triple OT has not only pushed the series back to Boston on Friday for a deciding seventh game, but pushed the series from “epic” to “best ever” territory. And we can forget the qualifiers like “best ever first round series” or “best ever non-Finals series” - based on the series so far and what we can expect on Friday, this might be as good as an NBA series can possibly get.

Just to recap some of the highlights, the fun started when Rondo and Hinrich got into it again early in the first quarter, with Rondo basically slinging Heinrich into the scorer’s table, with Heinrich immediately popping up looking for blood. Cooler heads prevailed and no one was ejected, but it sure served warning about what was to come.

Keep in mind that this game - and the series - should have all rights been over midway through the fourth quarter as the Celtics used a 25-2 run - 25-2! - to turn a 12-point deficit into a 99-91 lead with just under four minutes to go. In most series - hell, in any other series - a 25-2 fourth quarter run by the defending champs is enough to put an end to things.

But there were the Bulls, seemingly unable to grasp just how screwed they were, using their own 10-2 run to take the game to overtime. And from there, it was on. Taking the role of one-man team for the Celtics last night was Ray Allen, who scored 51 points including a game-tying three at the end of the second OT.

Even Allen wouldn’t be enough to fend off a wave of Bulls, all looking to be part of the heroics. One minute, it was John Salmons suddenly becoming unstoppable while scoring 35 points. The next it was Joakim Noah screaming down court after a steal for a ferocious dunk that led to a three-point play and Pierce fouling out with 35 seconds left in the third OT. And finally, Derrick Rose turning in the defensive ply of the season by blocking Rondo’s potential game-winner with three seconds left.

The series has been exhilarating, frustrating, ridiculous and incredible. But as Jalen Rose wisely pointed out on ESPN after the game, the Bulls will have people over the next two days congratulating them on their win, while the Celtics will be stewing on the anger of dropping it, which could be all the motivation they need. Remember what happened last season when the Celtics were pushed to a first-round Game 7 by an upstart team? For the good of sports, I hope history doesn’t repeat itself - sports fans deserve a classic game to end a classic series.

Meanwhile, Bill Simmons’ “Ewing Theory” - where a team inexplicably plays better without their star player - seemed to be alive and well elsewhere in the NBA playoffs last night. Despite having Superman grounded with a suspension after his hard foul on Samuel Dalembert, the Dwight Howard-less Magic were able to drill the 76ers 114-89 to close out their series.

Howard spent his time Twittering during the game, and I can tell you that I understand absolutely nothing he wrote. (Except for something about the Polish Hammer, which makes me wonder why he’s writing about former WWF wrestler Ivan Putski.) Not Twittering was Howard’s teammate Courtney Lee, who was too busy recovering from surgery on his sinus cavity which could cause him to miss the first few games of the Magic’s second round series to “tweet”.

The other example of the Ewing Theory came from out West, where the Rockets’ 92-76 victory over the Trailblazers clinched their first playoff series win since 1997. This was all done, of course, with Houston star Tracy McGrady on the shelf for the season since late February recovering from microfracture surgery on his knee. Coupling the Rockets’ success with Denver’s closing out of New Orleans - giving Carmelo Anthony his first playoff series victory - and there’s now no question who is going to be known as the Best Player Never To Have Won A Playoff Series.

Meanwhile, I’m sure you’ve taken the time this week to butter up your friend with the illegal cable box, since there is a big-time boxing match coming up this weekend as giant killer Manny Pacquiao takes on Ricky Hatton. Since there’s only two days to go until the fight, the fighters have shut up as the hype machine ramps up to sell PPV buys and tickets, meaning that everyone has to get their two cents in about the fight.

That includes the trainers, who seem to be threatening to become the bigger story than their charges. Hatton’s new trainer Floyd Mayweather Sr. has been defending claims that his combative presence has created problems in the Hatton camp - tough to do when you remember what a jerk Hatton’s father/trainer could be. Meanwhile, Pacquiao’s trainer Freddie Roach is telling people that Mayweather was a “poor choice” to train Hatton and that he would have been better served making a different choice of trainer - like himself.

And with any big fight, the media has to track down some brain-damaged, washed-up former champion to give their bleary opinion on who is going to win the fight. God knows where they find these poor sods, but I hope they at least bought them breakfast. People like this sad case named Oscar De La Hoya, who drooled out an opinion for the DAILY TELEGRAPH:

“Hatton can confuse you, offset you, and especially with the Mayweather factor in the corner in this fight,” he told Telegraph Sport. “I know Mayweather, what he is capable of, what he plants – those little details he plants in your head.

“I’m crossing my fingers that Mayweather and Hatton can go undefeated for many years to come. There will be a chess match going on mentally and physically between both camps but, with all due respect to Freddie Roach’s training ability and his team, Mayweather is the better trainer.”

“I’m speaking from experience. He is more technically sound. He teaches you the craft, the art of boxing. He’s old school – an amazing trainer – yes, he’s one crazy son of a gun, but mentally he plants those little details in your head for you to become King Kong inside the ring.”

It sounds to me like De La Hoya’s fight against Pacquiao should have been stopped about eight rounds earlier than it was; clearly the 200 straight blows to the head he took during the fight have rattled his brain to the point of no return. And think about this: if De La Hoya thinks Mayweather Sr. is a better trainer than Roach, what would have happened to him if Mayweather Sr. had trained Pacquiao instead of Roach? Yikes!

• I never had a reason to want to live in Atlanta instead of Los Angeles, but thanks to BUSTED COVERAGE I do now: according to her Twitter, NBA TV hottie Melanie Collins goes to the same gym as ESPN goddess Erin Andrews. Good God. Does anyone know someone who specializes in surveillance cameras in the Atlanta area who is very discreet and good at their job?



• Want to mail a love letter to Casey Blake? Still trying to send HGH shipments to Eric Gagne in LA? MLB.COM says it’s time to update your address book, as Dodger Stadium gets its own ZIP code.
• In case you missed it, the DALLAS MORNING NEWS says the A’s Ryan Sweeney had the catch of the (very short) season yesterday, robbing Texas’ Ian Kinsler of a three-run homer and preserving Oakland’s 4-2 victory.
• The College Football Hall of Fame has announced this year’s inductees, and the AP has the list. I guess he has to get in there because he won the Heisman Trophy, but seriously…Gino Torretta is in, but Deion Sanders isn’t?
• Finding new and exciting ways to screw up, the WASHINGTON POST says the Nationals gave up five runs in the ninth to the St. Louis Cardinals to turn a 4-4 tie into a 9-4 loss. But at least they got their uniforms right this time.
• Congratulations to the Chicago Blackhawks for rallying from a 3-0 deficit to tie the game against the Vancouver Canucks in Game 1 of their Western Conference semifinal series. Now about those last two they gave up to lose 5-3, as the CHICAGO TRIBUNE reports.
• Meanwhile, Rangers head coach John Tortorella tells the NEW YORK TIMES that he is really, really sorry that he got suspended when he dumped water on a fan and brandished a stick at him during Game 5 of their series against Washington.
• The WASHINGTON TIMES reports that former All-American turned NFL bust Mike Williams is trying to get down from 450 pounds to 370 and make a comeback with the Washington Redskins. We’re talking about the ex-Texas tackle, not the roly-poly former USC wide receiver.
• PRO FOOTBALL TALK says that the San Francisco 49ers have signed former Ohio State OT Alex Boone to a free-agent deal, despite that whole “running from the cops while drunk and pounding on garage doors” deal.
• Joe Paterno tells ESPN.COM that he wants to see the Big Ten expand from its current roster of 11 teams to 12. He’d then like the see them change their name to the Bigger 12, just to get under the skin of those damned Okies from the Dust Bowl.

• Lindsay Soto sure knows how to keep abreast of NHL playoff action.

• Perhaps looking for a little more face time, the Atlanta Hawks’ bird-brained mascot makes a temporary home on top of TNT’s backboard camera.

• Ex-Jag Jimmy Smith gives new meaning to “possession receiver“.

• MMA women menstruating does not make for a bloody good fight.

• That’s bra-wful: Brandi Chastain’s famous World Cup cups holder is caught up in bankruptcy court.

Read more…

I think I’ve found the world’s worst person: his name is Jaime Salcedo, and he’s the owner of Showbiz Productions in Jacksonville, FL. He first made a name for himself by selling the “Vick Chew Toy,” which is not related to the one the St. Paul Saints gave away. In fact, if you read the fine print at the toy’s Web site, it’s not even Michael Vick at all. Crazy how someone could get that idea, right? Check out the promotional video for yourself:

So while the toy and it’s cutting-edge “dog material” might be an overpriced, one-note joke aimed at making a quick buck, it’s not really horrible. Now, creating a doll based on a toddler who was gruesomely killed by her mother, that would be hideous. Folks, let me introduce you to the “Sunshine Caylee Doll,” also a creation from the monstrous kitchens of Showbiz Productions, meant to be a “tribute” to slain Florida two-year-old Caylee Anthony.

Of course, as Salcedo told Fox News, he wanted to be sensitive to Anthony’s memory, so he made sure the doll had little resemblance to her - even if it did play her favorite song “You Are My Sunshine” when you pressed its stomach. After all, making the doll look like Anthony would be “too morbid.”

But Salcedo wanted to make sure everyone knew he wasn’t a heartless slime trying to make money exploiting dead toddlers and mangled dogs. He was also a philanthropist, pledging to donate portions of the sales of the Vick Chew Toy to local animal shelters and $5,000 from the sales of the Sunshine Caylee Doll to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.

Well, Salcedo did make a donation to that last group: for a grand total of $10. And it seems evident that no donations were made to local animal shelters from sales of the Vick doll. So not only was Salcedo making money off of products in horrible taste, but he was pulling a big grift by using charity donations that never happened to support sales.

Finally, someone is doing something about it: the JACKSONVILLE TIMES-UNION says the Florida Attorney General’s office is suing Salcedo for $20,000 for making false advertising claims, and seeking an injunction against further sales of the dolls. Florida Attorney General Bill McCollum said that using a respected organization such as the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children as a front makes things even more reprehensible:

“Any company that intentionally misleads innocent consumers to believe they are contributing to worthy charitable causes is absolutely reprehensible,” he said. “It is disgusting that a company would exploit a tragic situation for personal gain.”

Of course, when you consider that Salcedo himself estimates that he sold at least 200,000 Michael Vick dolls at $7.77 each (grossing more than $1,500,000), a $20,000 fine feels like a slap on the wrist. I know times are tough, but the people of Jacksonville can’t band together and find the time and money to get the supplies needed for a good old fashioned tar and feathering? I’ll even chip in and by the first barrel of tar.

Meanwhile, there wasn’t much going wrong on Thursday during the first round of The Masters, unless you consider the appalling traffic. Despite assurances by government officials that the kinks that led to significant traffic snarls at the beginning of the week had been worked out, the AUGUSTA CHRONICLE says that traffic was even worse for the opening round, leading to headaches such as a local doctor having to run three-quarters of a mile to make a speaking engagement at the course.

At least it was perfect weather for a run, and also for shooting a low score: it was the second-lowest scoring first round in tournament history. The Day One leader is Chad Campbell, who set a tournament record with birdies on his first five holes and flirted with history before back-to-back closing bogies left him at 65, one stroke ahead of Hunter Mahan and Jim Furyk.

How crazy was the scoring on Thursday? If Phil Mickelson had shot 73 in last year’s first round, he would have been tied for 29th, five shots off the lead. Instead, he starts today tied for 51st, looking at an eight shot deficit. Even the over-50 crowd was getting into the scoring act: Larry Mize sits in a tie for fourth after a 67, while the group at 70 includes Greg Norman and Bernhard Langer.

Also firing a two-under: Tiger Woods, who probably could have been near the top of the leaderboard if one of five or six putts go in instead of burning the lip of the cup. The other main contender we previewed yesterday, Padraig Harrington, also had a quietbut efficient round, going one lower than Woods. Even Gary Player, in his final Masters, shot a respectable 78. In fact, every player broke 80 except for New Zealander Michael Campbell, who must feel great that even Craig Stadler’s portly butt beat him by three shots.

Finally, Andrew Bynum’s comeback from a knee injury might not be on par (get it?) with Tiger Woods’, but it couldn’t come at a better time for the Los Angeles Lakers. The LOS ANGELES TIMES reports that Bynum looked comfortable and healthy in his return after missing 32 games from a torn MCL, racking up 16 points and seven rebounds in just 21 minutes as the Lakers blew past the Nuggets, 116-102. Which begs the question: Could his injury actually have been a break for the Lakers, as their center is now rested and not worn down by the rigors of a long regular season?

• A few weeks ago, we told you about the Fifth-Third, a 4,800 calorie, four-pound burger that is the new entry at the concession stands at West Michigan Whitecaps games. CNBC says that the gut-buster made its debut last night, with 107 of them being sold. Of the 32 people who tried to eat the whole thing, 17 were successful. Lord, I don’t want to know what the toilets looked like around the seventh inning stretch.



(CNBC’s Darren Rovell ponders the glory of the Fifth Third Burger)

• LOCKDOWN CORNER says that former Green Bay Packers lineman Syd Kitson is trying to create the world’s most environmentally-friendly city somewhere in Florida. In true Green Bay style, everything is either powered by sharp cheddar cheese, or the light shining off of the still-brilliant aura of Brett Favre.
• Syracuse basketball looks to take a bit hit next year, as the AUBURN CITIZEN says that Jonny Flynn, Eric Devendorf and Paul Harris will all enter their names into the NBA Draft. Also looking to flee for the pro game: UCLA’s Jrue Holiday, Wake Forest’s James Johnson and Miami’s Dwayne Collins.
• Speaking of drafts, about the only thing the WNBA does right is take advantage of the one-week period right after the NCAA title game when people still remember that women’s basketball exists to hold their draft. The No. 1 pick? Louisville’s Angel McCoughtry, to the Atlanta Dream.
• Remember the kerfuffle caused when Teresa Earnhardt refused to let her stepson Dale Earnhardt Jr. take his No. 8 with him when he left DEI to go to Hendrick Motorsports? I guess karma really is a … you know. FOX SPORTS says the No. 8 car will be permanently parked, as DEI has had to shut down operations on Aric Almirola’s team because of a lack of sponsors.
• The person I would least expect to be in a Twitter controversy is Joe Paterno, who probably thinks that’s what happens when your pacemaker gets to close to a microwave. But ESPN.COM says his son Jay might have inadvertantly spilled the beans that the Big Ten is banning night games in November, meaning the Penn St./Ohio St. tilt will be played in the afternoon.
• Yesterday’s least-surprising arrest had to be that of volatile former NBA guard Vernon Maxwell. The GAINESVILLE SUN says he was arrested in Florida Wednesday morning and charged with a probation violation stemming from failure to pay child support.
• BALL DON’T LIE has the gripping story not coming to Broadway next fall: “Nellieball: The Musical.” Much like Don Nelson’s teams, it starts off promising but runs out of steam by the final act and falls apart.
• Last time we heard about Nebraska tight end Hunter Teafatiller, he was having a party thrown in his “honor” as he was preparing to go to jail on a DUI charge. I guess it’s time to make another keg run in Lincoln, because the AP says he’s been arrested again, this time for driving on a suspended license.
• Dan Hawkins wants you to know that not only is Colorado football not intramurals, brother, but it’s not a place for your cell phones and cameras. The COLORADO SPRINGS GAZETTE says the school has closed practices because of too much information floating around the Internet.

Dirty Hollywood secret here: Old men don’t just drop dead very often, not nearly as much as you see in the movies. If a heart is prone to sudden attack, it’s usually “evident”* well before the person gets into their 80’s. TMYK!

(Hey, speaking of stone dead JoePas…)

But that’s probably news to outgoing Penn State wideout Derrick Williams, who was asked while at the combine about his venerable old coach, Joe Paterno. Williams mused to the FORT WAYNE JOURNAL GAZETTE about Paterno’s love of the game and his retirement prospects, then dropped a line that, taken totally out of context, leads us to believe D-Will has the casual approach to death typical of all serial killers: Read more…

There are many ways for a coach to deal with a tough loss. Most involve profanity, raised voices, and a hair-trigger temper, ready to unload a fusillade of invective at that miserable fat piece of f*cksh*t who missed on that block in the third quarter and let the defensive end decapitate the star QB. That’s usually how a loss goes. But longtime Ohio State coach and opponent-puncher Woody Hayes had his own way of dealing with the stress of a loss: conducting post-game interviews naked.

(OSU wins, and the pants stay on… for now.)

These guys approve, Woody.

That got us to wondering, though: Seeing Woody Hayes give an interview while buck naked would be repulsive. But it could probably get worse, yes? Of course it could; Hayes is hardly the worst-physiqued man in college football history. So after the break, we present the 5 worst coaches to see naked in college football today. Buckle up, bulimics; today’s your lucky day.

Read more…

Dennis Rodman and a bunch of dwarfs - it sounds like the recipe for the type of awful, Felliniesque nightmare that makes you wake up sweating and shaking at 3 a.m. and causes your double up your Xanax prescription and call your therapist in a panic. (I mean, theoretically, not me, but someone else…) But it’s actually the cast of a movie called “The Minis”- which really got made. On actual film. With a budget of $5 million.

The plot? Rodman teams up with four dwarfs - please, don’t call them midgets - to enter a prestigious basketball tournament in Venice Beach. Which, if you think about it, is the sort of headline that you wouldn’t bat an eye at if you read it on a blog. As you can see in the trailer, the movie is filled with “comedy,” “inspiration” and “acting”:

Stirring, huh? And since we are your source for all news relating to Dennis Rodman and dwarfs (as you would expect), we were able to speak last night with one of the stars of the film, Caroline Macey, who plays Natalia, the gold digging girlfriend of one of the dwarfs who also is obsessed with cows. (That, folks, is what we call in the industry “character development.”) To summarize some of the high points:

• When she auditioned, the casting director was on her knees to simulate the feeling of acting with a little person. (I understand this happens when they cast Tom Cruise movies as well.)
• The movie was written with Dennis Rodman specifically in mind. As was “Gran Torino,” from what I hear, but he had to back out due to a scheduling conflict, forcing Clint Eastwood to step in at the last minute.
• Apparently, Rodman was “very sweet” and “pleasant on the set.” Except when he thought one of his co-stars was in the way of one of the shots, and he drop-kicked him through the hoop. (That’s a lie: anyone who saw Rodman play in the NBA knows there’s no way he could make a basket outside of two feet.)
• It’s Italian! Of course it is: see my Fellini comment earlier. And really, I’d recommend watching it dubbed in Italian with English subtitles to get the authetic flavor of the project.

I know what you’re thinking: “This sounds great! But if only there was a way to bring the humor and excitement of ‘The Minis’ home with meas some sort of video game.” Well, it turns out that you are in luck: there is one. I can’t vouch if it’s as good of a movie-to-video game crossover as “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” or not, but you can check out the trailer to find out more yourself:

Meanwhile, in actual basketball news: the way the Boston Celtics are playing, Dennis Rodman and a team of dwarfs might stand a fighting chance. OK, that’s probably an exaggeration,  but it’s pretty clear that their early season magic is long gone. Last night they suffered their sixth loss in eight games, this time an 89-85 defeat at home against the Houston Rockets.

They now find themselves 1 1/2 games back of the Cavaliers for the best record in the NBA, and judging by Cleveland’s 111-81 rout of the Hornets, I would venture to say that the Cavaliers are ready for their big showdown with the Celtics on Friday. Boston can’t see out of it’s eye - you gotta cut them and make them bleed, Mickey!

In other news that happened while…screw it. I mean, Dennis Rodman and basketball playing dwarfs. Come on!

• Unlike the Celtics, the Lakers were able to bounce back from a shocking defeat, although the LOS ANGELES TIMES notes that it came down to the final minute against the hapless Golden State Warriors. Meanwhile, Pau Gasol is looking more and more like a homeless person every day:



• I know that in the era of free agency, we shouldn’t be shocked at anyone wearing any uniform at any time. But it’s going to be weird seeing John Smoltz in a Boston Red Sox uniform at Fenway, right? The ATLANTA JOURNAL-CONSTITUTION has all the details.
• The FORT WORTH STAR-TELEGRAM reports that Adam Jones gets cut by the Dallas Cowboys after ESPN airs footage of his involvement of a strip club shooting in Atlanta in 2007. Hopefully, he can go back to Pacman when he lands with the Toronto Argonauts.
• The COLORADO SPRINGS GAZETTE notes that Home Depot has ended its program with the US Olympic Committee which gave jobs to aspiring athletes while they trained in their events. And get me some vinyl siding while you’re at it, Rulon!
• CAN’T STOP THE BLEEDING checks in on Chris Russo’s Year in Movies wrap-up, and it doesn’t sound like Peter Travers of Rolling Stone should be quaking in his boots any time soon.
• PRO FOOTBALL TALK says that media sources in Cleveland aren’t exactly thrilled about Eric Mangini coming to town - one person says that “he is atrocious with the media – the worst – and has so many rules that make it hard to do our jobs.“
• The MENLO PARK ALMANAC touches base with the story of two players from the title winning Menlo-Atherton High football team who were arrested and charged with mugging a skateboarder and taking his iPod Touch.
• Darren Rovell of CNBC notes that despite the economy, college football assistant coaches are seeing their salaries reach unprecedented heights this season.
• As you get ready for the glut of Super Bowl ads, UNCOACHED breaks down the Top 10 All-Time Classic Miller Lite commercials. Joe Piscopo? Never not funny.
• Finally, the AP has an urgent APB: State College, PA police are on the lookout for Joe Paterno’s stolen, Coke-bottle glasses. Not actually his, but from the seven-foot statue outside of Beaver Stadium. Police believe the lead suspect is a giant, seven-foot tall Elvis Costello statue.

I went to the Rose Bowl with SbB Girl Wendy Thursday and here’s some more fun photos from the game:

(Penn State fans only thing that kept me entertained throughout the day)

Not many locals (besides Cardinal and Gold Kool-Aid drinkers) whom I spoke to had any interest in attending. And after the stinkbomb dropped by Joe Paterno’s charges, Angelenos were certainly justified in their disdain for the game.

(SbB Girl Wendy right before the Jack Daniels-breath contact buzz set in)

Penn State fans saved the day with their enthusiasm, so all wasn’t lost. But safe to say the atmosphere around the game would’ve been heightened considerably if we had a college football playoff. (But the BCS booger eaters will have none of that!)

(Apparently he’s a Booty fan)

More photos after the jump. Read more…