• Jason Taylor is still alive on “Dancing With The Stars” - and he’s using ESPN THE MAGAZINE to tell you how he’s doing.

(Taylor likes what he sees in dance partner Edyta Sliwinska)

• What to do when your team’s not in the NBA playoffs? Well, COLLEGE ON THE RECORD catches Greg Oden partyting down at Penn State.

• Redskins TE Chris Cooley reminisces to SHUTDOWN CORNER about how his own draft day went.

• DEADSPIN cuts to the chase, as Terrell Owens has been cropped out of an incriminating photo.

• PRO FOOTBALL TALK reports that the NFL has reached a deal with videophile Matt Walsh.

Read more…

The Red Sox are in trouble.

What’s that you say? Yeah, we know, on the surface, things aren’t so peachy for the Yankees at the moment. A-Rod is injured and Hank Steinbrenner is becoming a media-borne boil on the backside of baseball operation.

(The REAL reason for the Cubs’ century-long losing streak)

But manager Joe Girardi remains undaunted, and he showed this weekend just how serious he is about doing whatever it takes to win the World Series. Read more…

David Chalk of BUGS & CRANKS connects the dots like Donald Sutherland in JFK and realizes the Tampa Bay Rays will hand out the award for best rookie in spring training for the year on the day the Yankees come into town for the first time since their spring training battle.

(We will break you. Squeeze you until you break. Or juice.)

Who’s getting the rather meaningless award in front of the Yankees? Why, it’s Elliot Johnson. He would be the fellow that broke Yankee Francisco Cervelli’s wrist on his hard slide and started the whole affair in March.

Now that award seems fraught with meaning. Perhaps the award will be in the shape of a middle finger and Johnson can hold it up to the Yankees’ bench.
Read more…

March 31 will be the last Opening Day at the current Yankee Stadium - but Shelley Duncan and Melky Cabrera won’t be there.

The NEW YORK DAILY NEWS rumbles up news that the two Yanks have been suspended for the first three games of the season, due to their little tete-a-tete with Tampa Bay on Wednesday. Read more…

You’re Jeffrey Loria. (Apologies in advance.) Your first foray into the sports realm after many false starts began with feet-kicking about a new stadium for your Montreal Expos. When that went poorly, you salted the earth in Quebec with incessant whining. Eventually, the other owners came to your ‘rescue’ with a bailout of unprecedented proportions.

In Miami, you stumble into a 2003 World Series win, making you a very successful accidental tourist. You respond by immediately breaking out your poutin’ shoes again and demand a new stadium. When this fails repeatedly, you chop salary again and alienate a second fan base. When you finally get that stadium deal, does it seem like a good time to lay low and not act petulantly? Read more…

• INSIDE SOCAL gets offensive in asking USC fans which Trojan coordinator they would prefer:

• HUGGING HAROLD REYNOLDS reminds you there’s no crying in baseball, as Yankee broadcaster Suzyn Waldman tears up about Joe Girardi’s hiring.• THE LAZY EYE OF STUART SCOTT gets down with Hall & Oates, who congratulate Adrian Peterson on his big day.

• FULL COURT PRESS finds Ric Bucher batting 1.000, as the ESPN analyst aggravates Pistons president Joe Dumars with his incorrect Kobe-to-Detroit trade rumors:

• JEN’S FREE THROWS comes on down, as Grant Hill & his mom are ready to play the Family Feud.• PART MULE offers an olive branch, as the U.N. wants everyone to call a truce during the Beijing Olympics.

TORRE BUSTING OUT OF THE BRONX ZOO FOR LA-LA-LAND? Does Joe Torre love L.A., or is it all just California dreamin’?

The WESTCHESTER (NY) JOURNAL NEWS reports that the ex-Yankees skipper is expected to become the Dodgers’ new manager. And the NEW YORK TIMES is also spreading the news that Torre is Tinseltown-bound.Recently, the Dodgers were trying to persuade