HS Cheerleaders Can Pull Off Some Crappy Stunts

• A group of cheerleaders at a Texas high school sock it to a teammate by smearing human feces inside her locker.

Bring It On brown socks

• Does the Denver Broncos’ Brandon Marshall like to beat women?

• Every time a Laker visits Colorado, sex accusations are soon to follow.

Jeff Van Gundy is trying to stay objective in the broadcast booth, but he really wants his brother Stan to beat L.A.

• I know playing in the SEC is tough, but getting death threats from your own fans?

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Joe Buck Flexes Comedy Chops In New Talk Show

It’s been over a year since we first discussed windbaggy sportscaster Joe Buck’s attempts to develop a pilot for a talk show/variety show. Sports fans mostly rolled their eyes, wondering how the NFL on FOX’s self-appointed moral authority could possibly pull off the trick of being remotely funny or entertaining.

JJoe Buck

(Stand-up comedy from a stand-up guy. Or something.)

Such concerns, however, were no matter for a guy with the ego and pedigree of Buck. When a guy rockets up the ranks of sportscasters like Buck does, he generally gets what he wants, and this is no different. His show, “Joe Buck Live”, debuts June 15 on HBO, and AWFUL ANNOUNCING’s Brian Powell stumbled upon the promo. Verdict? Well, see for yourself.

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Fox Sports Has Trouble Telling Black People Apart

After second-generation ballplayer John Mayberry, Jr. launched a home run in his second major league at-bat in today’s Phillies/Yankees game on Fox, Joe Buck and Tim McCarver lavished praise over John Mayberry, Sr. (a 14-year major leaguer) and expressed how proud he must be. The camera lingered over a man in a World Baseball Classic Panama jersey and his two pre-teen children.

Not John Mayberry Sr.

(Huge hat tip to Matt P of THE 700 LEVEL for helping to get this screenshot of a very focused Not Senior)

Which probably should have been a clue, really, to the Fox Sports crew on site. They picked up on their mistake an inning later and announced they had shown two minutes of the wrong man. Hey, it’s an easy mistake, right? Right?

(Video after the jump.)

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Joe Buck’s Restaurant Doesn’t Care About Profits

Now is not a good time to be Joe Buck. The lead FOX announcer’s popularity is in the toilet as fans have gradually discovered that Buck doesn’t actually care about the games in front of him. That’s fine, we suppose; Buck is free to choose what he does or doesn’t enjoy, of course. But if he’s going to freely admit that he doesn’t watch baseball in his spare time, why on earth is he being paid an insane amount of money to talk about it during the playoffs, when it matters the most?

Joe Buck's Restaraunts Close Down
(Cue the Price Is Right failhorns.)

So perhaps it’s a touch of sports karma, if it exists [It doesn’t. Trust Me.–God], that the restaurants bearing Buck’s name in the St. Louis area are tanking right in line with Buck’s approval ratings. The ST. LOUIS BUSINESS JOURNAL is reporting that there are major changes in store for the five “J. Buck’s” locations, including management change, closure, and murder. Okay, we made up the murder part.
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One’s Ankles Are Not Supposed To Bend That Way

We had ourselves another one of “those” moments earlier today in the Packers-Vikings game, the Joe Theismann/Napoleon Kaufman kind of instance where a gruesome replay unfortunately (or fortunately, if you’re sick) catches a closeup of a horrific injury. The victim this time? Vikings return man Charles Gordon and his poor, poor ankle.

Charles Gordon

(Gordon, during happier times, when both ankles were intact)

The play came in the first half of the game, when Gordon got his ankle caught under a Packers player while getting tackles.

PROFOOTBALLTALK.COM has some more details: “Though Joe Buck and Troy Aikman missed the fact (both live and via replay) that Gordon’s foot was pointing in the wrong direction once the play had ended, it was obvious when FOX went to commercial that something was horribly wrong.”

The grotesque video for you sick individuals is after the jump. Warning: You might want to hold off eating before viewing it. It’s a doozy.

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Redskins TE Cooley Is Very Revealing In His Blog

• We figured Chris Cooley’s blog would let us get to better know the inner workings of the Redskins’ TE, but we never would have guessed we would see this far inside.

Chris Cooley Christy

If there were naughty bits to be shown on Cooley’s blog, why couldn’t they have belonged to his new hot wife, Christy?

• Cubs hurler Carlos Zambrano no-hits the Astros in Milwaukee. Somehow, that causes Ned Yost to be bounced from the Brewers.

• Speaking of teams with curses, a soccer goalie in the Congo tries to use a little witchcraft, only to see 11 people die in the ensuing mid-game riot.

• The Chiefs get tomahawked by the Raiders. Looks like the wrong AFC West coach is about to get fired.

• Meanwhile, Chargers fans seem ready to hack off Ed Hoculi’s limbs for his questionable non-fumble call against the Broncos.

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Pam Oliver In “When Sideline Reporters Attack!”

PRO FOOTBALL TALK has this gem from the Giants/Rams game yesterday: Joe Buck and Pam Oliver getting snippy with each other on-air. The whole thing started when Oliver filed a sideline report questioning the attitude of the Rams (do we really need Oliver to tell us that?), which led Buck to link it to a similar report she made early last season about the Giants.

Pam Oliver Joe Buck

(Pam Oliver on the lookout to kick Joe Buck’s butt)

This lead to the fireworks. (Note: I’m not talking about not big, “blasting over the White House as John Williams conducts Stars and Stripes Forever” kind of fireworks, more the “lousy Safe ‘n’ Sane sparklers” sort of fireworks.) Video after the jump - the good stuff is about 1:10 in.

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Scalpers Making a Killing For Final Yankees Games

With the Yankees about as likely to make the playoffs as I am to have a night alone with Alexis Bledel - BP.com has their playoff odds at 0.9%, so there’s technically still a chance - there’s not going to be a drama-filled Joe Buck-announced closing to Yankees Stadium before the team packs up and moves across the street. In fact, unless the Yankees pull off a miracle, there are only 9 games left in the House That Ruth Built.

Scalper needs tickets

And since scalpers, the soulless incarnation of our purely capitalist society, are not ones to miss an opportunity, you know tickets are going to be pricey. But who would have thought that tickets are actually going for “100 times their face value!”

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Padres’ Bush Can’t Stay Away From Basebrawls

Is there any way we can pass a law that takes half the money professional athletes picked in the first round earn and hide in escrow for a few years until they prove their complete worth and/or don’t become irreparably harmful to society? Yeah, probably not.

Matt Bush

But sometimes it seems like a good idea. Like with Matt Bush, who not only has zero business getting first overall pick money from the San Diego Padres (they passed on Justin Verlander among many others), but who cannot seem to stay away from fights. The SAN DIEGO UNION TRIBUNE punches up his latest bit of trouble and it may involve him getting hurt … but it might not be his fault!

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Brog: Patrick, Olbermann Reunite On NBC Teevee

Richard Sandomir of the NEW YORK TIMES has a bombshell today about Dan Patrick, reporting that the former ESPN SportsCenter anchor will be reunited with Keith Olbermann on NBC’s Sunday Night Football broadcasts.

Keith Olbermann Dan Patrick

Nice play by Dick Ebersol, especially when it comes to boosting Patrick’s profile, who is currently saddled with a syndicated radio show that has very little live clearance in major markets (save Los Angeles). This is the sort of thing that could really help his daily show take off.

Think about Jim Rome’s radio show before he became a stalwart on Fox Sports Net’s “The Last Word.” Besides his L.A. flagship, he was taking calls everyday from the likes of Lincoln, Nebraska, and Green Bay. The TV presence brought him more prestige and pushed him into the sports media mainstream- with the accompanying major market radio affiliates to follow. The NBC thing for Patrick may function similarly. We’ll see.

More details from SPORTS BUSINESS DAILY:

Ebersol said of the set-up of the show, which runs from 7:00-8:30pm ET, “Highlights that begin at 7:15 (ET) will be Dan and Keith. They’ll do the highlights straight through until about 8:00, with the exception of one segment that Cris and Bob will do somewhere around 7:30 or 7:40.” He added the mics for all members of the studio team, which also includes Tiki Barber, Jerome Bettis and Peter King, will be open, allowing them to comment when they feel like it.

In addition to “FNIA,” Patrick will also be part of the net’s Super Bowl coverage when it has TV rights, as well as a member of NBC’s Olympics coverage beginning with the 2010 Vancouver Games.

I’m sure Dan is broken up about missing out on Beijing. Aw, shucks!

I spent most of Sunday midday watching the Roger Federer-Rafael Nadal match. The pair helped me get quite the workout on the treadmill at my gym, as I couldn’t bring myself to leave until the match’s conclusion (three hours later!).

I haven’t watched much tennis lately, so I was a little perplexed about who was calling the PBP of the Wimbledon men’s finals match. After I heard John McEnroe refer to his partner as “Ted” I then realized that former SF Giants announcer Ted Robinson was behind the mic.

Robinson, who is a longtime tennis guy as well, was serviceable in his role, but when Dick Enberg appeared for ESPN for some post-match analysis, it made me a little sad that he wasn’t still NBC’s main tennis voice. I remember Enberg’s Wimbledon call well for those Borg- and Connors-McEnroe epics. And from what I’ve heard from Enberg’s recent work, there’s no doubt that he could easily still be doing big events for NBC.

NBC drew a 4.6 rating for the match, which is the highest number in eight years for the broadcast. The figure is also up 44 percent from last year’s finals, which ironically featured the same combatants.

ESPN’s Bud Collins to Sports Biz Daily on Federer-Nadal: “I’ve covered 41 finals, including the classics of 1980 and 1981 with (Bjorn) Borg and (John) McEnroe, but this 4 hour, 48 minute final is No. 1.

Ted Robinson John McEnroe

(NBC Wimbledon PBP not the same without Dickie E.)

Collins is another guy, like Enberg, who should’ve never been kicked to the curb. He was plenty lucid in his reportage on ESPN with Luke Jensen, who I also liked.

The NYT’s Sandomir also pins down Joe Buck on comments he made to ESPN Radio about not watching much baseball (among other things) and having to cram to get ready for his FOX games.

Sandomir wrote, “On Thursday, Buck said in an interview from his home in St. Louis that he was joking about his TV habits — even if neither the host nor the guest sounded amused. He was too flippant, he said. And so, a little verbal damage control.

Safe to say Buck heard from Fox Sports TV management about his embarrassing comments made to ESPN Radio’s Colin Cowherd.

Also interesting to note that Sandomir made no mention of the only reason anyone is talking about the comments at all. If it wasn’t for Brian Powell at AWFUL ANNOUNCING posting about the on-air exchange, you can guarantee Buck would’ve been in the clear (I’m guessing Cowherd & Co. don’t look at it that way).

One person who today is probably disappointed with Buck’s backpedal is Kyle Nagel of the DAYTON DAILY NEWS, who columnized after Buck’s comments that the announcer was in the right.

Brewers broadcaster Jim Powell breaks down the C.C. Sabathia deal and the man behind it, Doug Melvin, better than anyone I’ve seen, heard or read.

Forest Griffin playing at the WSOP moments after his UFC win over Rampage Jackson:

Forest Griffin at WSOP

The WASHINGTON POST has the sad news that Wizards Owner Abe Pollin is now confined to a wheelchair “because of progressive supranuclear palsy, a disorder of the brain that impairs movement and balance.”

The 84-year-old Pollin: “(It’s a) horrible disease. But I’m fighting it.

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