8:57 PM Just got back from Costco, where I secured six cases of owl jerky, a 40-gallon drum of pine cone liquor, three genetically engineered chickens made entirely of wings, a giant squid with a head of fire and talking snakes for tentacles and a copy of Andre Agassi's autobiography, signed personally!
8:09 PM Got five bucks burning a hole in your pocket and an unhealthy obsession for Monta Ellis? Does Mark Cuban have a deal for YOU!
7:51 PM Michigan State football players *allegedly* weren't the only football players in the country involved in a serious dorm altercation recently.
Jim Leavitt never lets us down. As his USF squad plods through a relatively forgettable season, Leavitt still gives us reason to care - like when he shows up to his postgame presser yesterday looking like this:
Greg Auman of the St. Peterburg Times reports that, “when USF coach Jim Leavitt took the podium after Saturday’s 34-22 win against Louisville, he looked as if he’d played in the game himself, with a bloody gash across the bridge of his nose and a red mark above his left eye.”
Leavitt wouldn’t tell the media how he bloodied his face, but his players sold him out. Read more…
USF Coach Jim Leavitt, who has been known for a dodgyequilibrium in the past, shows off what he learned during his apparent visits to Frank Kush’s annual coaching clinic. (Too old school? Then Lou Holtz.)
This is the one time when the freeze frames are actually better than the video, which is after the jump. Read more…
In the last three years, the South Florida football program has finally started to make a name for itself in the world of college football. They finished 9-4 in both 2006 and 2007 before going 8-5 last season, and are looking to break into the BCS with a Big East Conference title this year. Of course, you can’t be considered a big-time college football program until you start getting mentioned in the much heralded Fulmer Cup.
Which is why South Florida tight end Trent Pupello should probably be named a captain this season. He knows that the Bulls needed somebody to step up and get the program some recognition, and that he was just the man to get the job done. That’s why he started pistol-whipping everybody in sight during a fight at a bar a few weeks back.
Being a college football coach is a high-pressure business - maybe not being an air traffic controller or a heart surgeon, where if you screw up people die, but it can be pretty intense. And if your team is getting a nasty reputation for late-season collapses, it might start getting to you after awhile. Witness South Florida coach Jim Leavitt: THE WIZ OF ODDS has video of him losing his mind during a press conference:
This is exactly how my cousin Aldo used to act, right before he took to chasing after the ice cream truck with his pants off and trying to recruit local children to “help repel the Huns.” Despite the lack of blustery, screaming theatrics, I’d still like to suggest that Leavitt ask his doctor if Paxil is right for him.
If ever there was an appropriate way to recap a ridiculously high-scoring (i.e. actually fun to watch) Week 12 in the NFL, the Saints’ 51-29 thrashing of the Packers was it. New Orleans became the 12th team to score 30 or more points this week, more than during any other week this season.
Drew Bress continued his assault on the NFL record books, throwing for 323 yards and four TDs, but the Saints’ MVP might have been Packers’ QB Aaron Rodgers, who had a very Brett Favre-like performance on Monday night, except this was the bad Favre of 2005-2006. Translation: Rodgers threw three interceptions and the Packers had no chance.
And finally, a word to the wise - if you are going to shoot someone flashing a random group of tailgaters before a Cowboys game, try not to do it from directly behind them. Then again, if the flasher in question looks like a 45-year-old high school softball coach, maybe it’s for the best:
Here are some other stories you might have missed last night as you, like the rest of the US, were an emotional wreck after hearing about the Hannity and Colmes divorce:
Not even Tiger Woods is recession-proof: BLOOMBERG says that GM is pulling out of its endorsement deal at the end of the year, meaning that he’ll get to quit pretending that he really loves driving a Buick.
Retired NHL goon Claude Lemieux is attempting a comeback, as the CANADIAN POST reports that the 43-year-old has signed a tryout contract with the San Jose Sharks. He’ll be heading to the AHL first to work on his baiting and sucker punching.
RIVALS.COM has a depressing look at Northwestern, the worst basketball program of the major conferences and the only which which has never been to the NCAA tournament. But at least their football team has a rich history of…ugh, never mind.
Your usual video of a student’s first trip to the Montana/Montana State rivalry, including drinking, push-ups…and a pretty solid catfight at about 1:05 in. (The problem with catfights in Montana in November: too much clothing to rip off.):
The Clippers/Knicks trade is in limbo because of questions about Cuttino Mobley’s heart, says David Aldridge on NBA.COM. Literally - the Knicks have concerns about a possible pre-existing heart condition.
Mike Shanahan tells the AP that he’s OK with players taking out idiot fans who run out onto the field during games. How does he expect his team to tackle rowdy fans if they can’t even stop the Raiders?
Bob Arum confirms to ESPN.COM that the fight between Antonio Margarito and Shane Mosley is back on for Jan. 24 in Las Vegas, as boxing continues to respond to rumors of its demise by putting out decent fight cards.
Eric Thomas, who helped lead Kent State to the Elite Eight back in 2002, has been sentenced to eight years in prison for burglary and assault. The DAILY KENT STATER says that’s enough to get a banner with his accomplishments pulled off the rafters, but not enough for his number to be unretired.
Roger Goodell tells BROADCASTING & CABLE that despite the BCS package going to ESPN, we shouldn’t expect NFL playoff games on cable anytime soon. Also of note: the BCS considered a package that would have put all the BCS games on FX, which is just weird.
Well, it’s been one whole night since Philadelphia has won a major sports championship. I can’t imagine how Philly sports fans are dealing with the drought - based on Wednesday night, I’d guess getting hammered, overturning and then setting fire to a school bus full of children. If they are getting restless, the ticker tape parade is today, but the PHILADELPHIA DAILY NEWS says mayor Michael Nutter has one simple request: don’t “be a jackass.” Next I guess you want Philly fans to stop rooting for the Phillies, Mr. Mayor?
Also ready to overturn things, but this time in anger - Fox Sports and MLB executives, after the Nielsen ratings showed that the 2008 World Series were the lowest-rated ever. But don’t worry - Fox and Commissioner Bud Selig both want you to know it was all the fault of the weather.
They weren’t necessarily rioting in the streets of Cincinnati last night - although Thanksgiving is coming up, and that does mean the legendary WKRP Turkey Drop is coming back to downtown! But, beating a ranked team does count for something, even if it was only No. 24 South Florida, who played like turkeys again. (Ha! See what I did there? Professional writer, folks.) I like Bulls’ head coach Jim Leavitt well enough, but another collapse in the second half of the season? Going 8-7 in your last 15 games against FBS opponents is not good.
What is good is being 21 and having $57.4 million in your pocket. That’s what Andrew Bynum has after signing a four-year extension with the Lakers on Thursday. All for a player who has started a whopping 80 games in his career and averaged a shade over seven points per game. But he has that infamous “unlimited upside potential” that Jay Bilas drives into your head each draft, even if this probably means the end for Lamar Odom in LA.
The only thing with more comedic potential than Mike Singletary as 49ers head coach? Diego Maradona, new Argentina soccer coach. GOAL.COM reports his first match will be Nov. 19 against Scotland. Given his reputation and history of problems, this is like John Daly being named PGA Tour Commissioner.
Maradona could probably help the East Timor soccer team - even now as a player, since they are the worst team in the world according to FIFA. So as the NEW YORK TIMES says, they have to feel pretty good about tying Cambodia, their first game ever that they didn’t lose. They were dancing in the streets of…East Timor City? I’m too lazy to Wikipedia that.
The MIAMI HERALD has news that Florida might be muzzling linebacker Brandon Spikes and keeping him from commenting on the upcoming Presidential election. Romeo Crennel approves of this concept.
The 47-year-old man who was found by paramedics at 47-year-old Isiah Thomas’ house was not breathing when they arrived. The NEW YORK TIMES uses its esteemed powers of reporting to find out from police sources who this mystery man was.
The READING EAGLE has word that Joe Paterno is going to get his right hip and leg fixed after this season, and that he plans on returning next season. Somehow, Paterno is still in better physical shape than Greg Oden.
The OCALA STAR BULLETIN reports that former NBA All-Star “Fast” Eddie Johnson has been found guilty of molesting an eight-year-old girl and is facing a mandatory life sentence.
Remember way back when Colts vs. Patriots was the highlight of the regular season- like the last four seasons? SI.COM looks at a rivalry in flux.
Someone get the NHL marketing team off of the ledge: the PITTSBURGH POST-GAZETTE says that modern-day meal ticket Sidney Cosby’srib injury suffered last night is minor.
