• SONS OF STEVE GARVEY tosses out some fun photos of Jackie Chan kickin’ it with the Dodgers.

• STEROID NATION comes across strange news of Chinese authorities reportedly testing performance-enhancing drugs on prisoners, and somehow hoping the results can help disqualify Western athletes & give more medals to China.

• DEUCE OF DAVENPORT passes along news that Dan Marino will be giving this year’s commencement speech for the University of Pittsburgh.

• JOE SPORTS FAN can’t find any relief, as this Wrigley visitor decides to turn a urine trough into a Slip ‘n’ Slide.

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SHOCKER! HARBAUGH WON’T BE NEXT MICHIGAN COACH: While some are crying out for the opportunity to become Michigan’s next coach, Jim Harbaugh kept his cool:

FOX SPORTS reports that the Stanford coach & former Wolverines QB isn’t interested in the job, saying he’s happy being down on The Farm.Harbaugh did have some kind words for Lloyd Carr, talking about what a “tremendous job” the outgoing coach did in his 13 years at Ann Arbor, adding, “I’m happy for him and the decision he made, because I say he’s a tremendous man and a tremendous person.”

Tremendous.

Or course, it’s no big surprise that Harbaugh wouldn’t be a prime candidate. Eariler this year, Jim took some jabs at his alma mater, questioning the academic requirements for some of their athletes.In response, Carr had called Harbaugh’s comments “elitist”, “arrogant” and “self-serving“.

So, it’s safe to say that the only way you’ll see Harbaugh on the Michigan Stadium sidelines is if the Cardinal schedules a September visit to the Big House.

FIT-THROWING PLAYER TEMPORARILY TOSSED FROM TEAM: A Stanford football player wasn’t showing much smarts last week, and now he won’t hit the field this week:

SPORTING NEWS reports that Cardinal WR Richard Sherman won’t play in Stanford’s next game vs. Washington State.During last Saturday’s loss, Sherman was slapped with a personal foul. Not too soon afterwards, he was caught by TV cameras throwing a sideline fit, screaming and pointing at teammates, having to be restrained by a coach.

Coach Jim Harbaugh said Sherman, the team’s leading receiver, “will not be allowed to participate in any football activities this week.”And it may be more than one game that Richard takes a rest. The SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE adds that Sherman had been suspended “indefinitely“.

It’s not the first time a Cardinal player has been benched this year. Basketball big man Brook Lopez was thrown off the team for not attending class.

What ever must fellow classmate Michelle Wie think?

• We mentioned earlier how Brady Quinn had to don a USC jersey after losing a bet. Now, IRISH TROJAN IN TENNESSEE has video proof of the QB’s cringing clothing change:

• Coloradoans take note: RIVALFISH cowboys up to present their top 10 reasons to hate Red Sox fans.• Ray Ratto of CBS SPORTSLINE has no comment, as the media can corner athletes into “Damned if you do, Damned if you don’t.”

• THE MONEY SHOT bangs their heads, as they compare NBA teams to ‘80s hair metal bands:

• THE EXTRAPOLATER asks the NCAA to repeat that, as they don’t understand the whole Division 1-A/Football Bowl Subdivision double-talk.• AWFUL ANNOUNCING packs their bags for the Great White North, as MLB viewers in Canada are Buck & McCarver free.

• LARRY BROWN SPORTS is in good hands, as Tony Romo takes out a $30 million insurance policy on himself:

• WTAE reports that former Pitt ESPN radio announcer John Duffy has plead guilty to child porn charges.• OFF WING OPINION counts to 10, as they’re annoyed by interruptions from ESPN SportsCenter’s 30 in 30.

• The GONZAGA BULLETIN bulldogs Rick Reilly for selling his soul to the Satan in Bristol:

• The SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE learns it’s student against teacher in Corvallis, as Stanford’s Jim Harbaugh faces Oregon State and his old pro coach Mike Riley.• SPORTS REVIEW MAGAZINE gets a tip that Bill Callahan will be bought out by Nebraska at the end of the season.

JUST KEEP DONAGHY AWAY FROM THE VOTING MACHINES: SPORTS REVIEW MAGAZINE spotlights the strangely unreported college basketball career of a certain Democratic presidential candidate: “Barack Obama attended the school (Div. III Occidental College) from 1978-1980 and was the school’s leading scorer in basketball in 1979.”

Jim Acho on why the media has eschewed taking it to the Barack: “Obama was considered a ‘George Gervin type’ by one ex-coach I spoke to, but I wonder why it gets no mention. Maybe the Obama camp is playing it down for fear of some type of ‘black man and basketball’ stereotype/reprisal.”

Meanwhile, Mr. Acho himself is the subject of a reported imbroglio of sorts between Jim Harbaugh and the University of Michigan.