Cleveland Browns Run Out Of Players To Honor

Wherever your fan allegiances lie, it’s hard not to feel bad for Cleveland Browns fans. It’s bad enough that their city has been in decline for decades, but no fan base deserves to have their team yanked out of town, especially when said team ends up spurning you for Baltimore. Sure, Cleveland ended up getting the Browns back (sort of), but the last 10 years have been a near-constant kick to the nuts for fans of the brown & orange.

Brady Quinn Cleveland Browns Blizzard

(Hall of Famer…by default?)

One constant that Browns fans have always been able to cling to throughout all the Tim Couches and Butch Davises has been the past. The Browns had an illustrious history up through the 1980s, and to the team’s credit, they created a team Hall of Fame to recognize the team’s glory days and distract fans from the crapfest on the field. Well, they had a team Hall of Fame, anyways: the team has decided to put the “Browns Legends” on hiatus for at least this year. Classy move, Cleveland.

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Jim Brown: Stallworth High During Fatal Accident

Jim Brown, self-appointed savior of the troubled black athlete, nosed his way into Donté Stallworth’s situation as a nominal member of the Cleveland Browns management team and joined Dan LeBatard on his Miami radio show to defend the young man, who will now be serving a month in prison for his involvement in the death of a pedestrian.  (Sorry, Brendan.)

Jim Brown Donte Stallworth

(Run, Donté! Jim Brown’s coming to help!)

While defending Stallworth, Brown also happens to drop that alcohol wasn’t the only “influence”-ing chemical in Stallworth’s bloodstream at the time of the crash.   Brown told LeBatard that Stallworth smoked marijuana the night of the accident, making it clear that he had a “very reliable source”.  Thanks for helping, Jim! Way to pitch in!

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NO Saints Coach Knows Plenty About Screenplays

There’s something in the human endeavor that encourages those successful in one arena to attempt success in a wildly different one.  For example, NFL people can’t stop diving into Hollywood helmet-first.  Jim Brown is the textbook example, but Merlin Olsen and Alex Karros couldn’t resist working in front of the camera.  Michael Strahan owes much to the FTD Florists man.

Sean Payton accepts Coach of the Year

(Next stop: The Academy Awards)

And now New Orleans head coach Sean Payton wants in on the action.  He wrote a screenplay, you see, and he… wait, he didn’t even write the screenplay?  He had a four-page idea for a screenplay and gave it to someone to write and now CAA is shopping it? That’s how it works? No wonder NFL players want into Hollywood; they work that hard before lunch at the first two-a-days of the year.

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New Browns Head Coach Hates Browns’ Tradition

The Cleveland Browns need some help. After seemingly being on the cusp of a prolonged playoff run after the 2007 season, the Browns backslid into sub-mediocrity last season, going a paltry 4-12 and scoring just 5 points a game over their last six games (all losses, of course). The lifeless finish cost Romeo Crennel his head coaching job, and in stepped Eric Mangini, the Jets’ former head man.

Mangini Browns
(”I’m so glad to be here in Cleveland, with such a rich history to disown!”)

Mangini has a curious strategy for returning the Browns to prominence respectability winning more than four games a season, though. It’s not revamping the strength program or overhauling the offense; it’s by incinerating all bridges left with the fan base and, according to the AKRON BEACON JOURNAL (via TSB), painting over a mural that immortalized the Cleveland greats of yesteryear. And this wasn’t like most murals you see where it was painted by 4th graders or something: it’s a work of art. Or was, anyway. Read more…

Syracuse To Crap On The Memory Of Its Legends?

Imagine that tomorrow, Bud Selig holds a press conference and announces that MLB is unretiring Jackie Robinson’s number. Selig says that because of players like Mariano Rivera and Bruce Sutter, there is a tradition of outstanding players wearing the number 42, and therefore any future players should be allowed to wear it. We’d storm baseball’s offices with pitchforks and torches, right?

Jim Brown, Ernie Davis, Floyd Little

That’s exactly what many at Syracuse want to do with the number 44. Worn by Jim Brown, Floyd Little and Ernie Davis, among others, the number was finally retired three years ago. But now there’s a groundswell to open it up again and slap it on the back of any old running back who joins the Orange. The most outrageous part of this is that there isn’t more outrage.

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Jim Brown Suing Sony & EA Over Video Game Guy

What can Brown do for you? If you’re a video game producer, he can sue your billion-dollar butt for using his likeness without his permission.

Jim Brown Cleveland Browns

BLOOMBERG’s Patricia Hurtado reports that Jim Brown has recently filed a lawsuit against Sony & Electronic Arts. The Hall of Fame NFL running back (and star of “I’m Gonna Git You, Sucka!“) is taking the two companies to court, complaining that they’ve based a video game character on him without legally asking. Read more…

LT Takes “Further Damaged” Knee To Super Bowl

The San Diego Union Tribune reports today that “LaDainian Tomlinson had an additional MRI on his left knee Tuesday that revealed his playing even just four snaps in the AFC Championship Game further damaged it.

LaDainian Tomlinson Fishing

Surgery is still not required, but the knee will take longer to heal. To no one’s surprise, Tomlinson will not play in the Pro Bowl.

But the injury hasn’t stopped Tomlinson from traveling to Phoenix this week “as part of an endorsement deal.Read more…

Audio Drops Out For Portion Of Tilghman Apology

That’s OK, it was just going to make Jim Brown that much MADDER anyway:

Kelly Tilghman Apology

The apology (what we heard of it) was a yawner, but we did appreciate the fact that it was “brought to you by, Cialis”.