Can We Plz Get Randy Moss In Here To Translate?

Jason Williams gives us an unfiltered glimpse into West Virginia trailer park life with an oft-unintelligible, expletive-filled rant at reporters after the Magic were slammed by Boston Saturday night in Game 3 of the Eastern Conference final:

Jason Williams launches fbombs at reporters in Boston locker room

Can you guys please move out of my locker I asked you nicely. You don’t want me to get mean I’m sure. Can you guys please back the f— up. Thank you. F—. I asked you three times. What the f— is wrong with y’all man? F—. Don’t get smart man. Don’t get smart buzz, yeah I’m telling you don’t get smart buzz. (Unintelligble exchange with reporter.) … Step the f— back ………….. f—.

“Don’t get smart, Buzz”? Nice of him to throw in the West Virginia state motto while he was at it. Read more…

Smith Signs Sheet w/Grizz; J-Will Stays Stateside

The Atlanta Hawks seem to be running out of players, and we’re not joshin’. First, Josh Childress forgoes another season in Hotlanta to go play in Greece. Now, Josh Smith has given Hawks management a bear of a problem by signing a $58 million offer sheet with the Grizzlies.

Josh Smith Josh Childress Atlanta Hawks

(In stereo: “So long, suckers!”)

Sekou Smith of the ATLANTA JOURNAL CONSTITUTION reports that the Hawks have seven days to match the five-year deal offered to their star player. Smith had earlier rejected a five-year, $45 million contract offered by Atlanta back in October, and negotiations have been dragging since.

Is it really so awful to play in Atlanta that hoopsters would rather toil in Memphis or flee the country?

Speaking of NBAers heading overseas, it turns out Jason Williams will not be one of them. Read more…

Boxing Results: Storage Chest 1, Khalil Greene 0

Khalil Greene of the San Diego Padres fights a storage chest - and loses.

Khalil Greene Padres

Mike Ditka is bringing his haute cuisine to the Steel City. Bon Appetit!

Mike Williams’ weight gain may have ended his NFL career. That’s heavy.

• An Aussie football analyst is in trouble for sharing sexy thoughts about a female member of parliament.

Jason Williams may burn the Miami Heat to go play in Israel.

Read more…

NBA Exodus Continues, Williams To Israel League?

The exodus of mid-level NBA free agents to pro leagues around the globe continues, as THE MIAMI HERALD is reporting that Jason Williams is considering signing a deal with an Israeli League team. But apparently he’s having trouble coming to terms - most Israeli teams are offering around $1.5 million a year, about what NBA teams were offering and half of what White Chocolate expects.

Jason Williams Heat

I think you can join me in praying that there’s a way to make this work. Other than Ron Artest, I can’t think of another NBA player with the higher comedic potential when heading off to Israel to play pro basketball than Jason Williams.

Read more…

Jason Williams, Jeremy Shockey Have Bad Tattoos

Lang Whitaker over at SI.COM has assembled a quick list of some of the worst tattoos in pro sports.

Robert Swift tattoo

Notably absent from the list: everyone else with a tattoo. Unless you were in the service or did time, your tats are lame. Read more…

Trade Talk Has Heat’s Williams Feeling Like Hooker

Jason Williams doesn’t like the trade rumors swirling around his team - especially the rumors concerning himself:

Jason Williams prostitute

The Miami Heat guard tells the SOUTH FLORIDA SUN-SENTINEL he might as well hit the streets, since he feels like he’s working them: “We’re like some high-paid prostitutes anyway in this league. They just use and get rid of us whenever they want. ”

Williams is in the final year of his contract, worth about $8.9 million this season. However, we don’t know many call girls that can pull in such an amount for their services.

Um…that is, if we ever actually dealt with such ladies of the evening.