Doug Mirabelli must feel like a mistreated little puppy again today, having just been released by the Red Sox. The Sawx have drop-kicked the big catching animal three times now (2004, 2006, 2008), only to rush back to him, scratch behind his ears, and make his tail thump excitedly. Hell, they sent a police escort for him last time. What’s a boy to think?

This year’s girl, Kevin Cash, apparently knows how to make knuckler Tim Wakefield happy and is a much younger model. Also, Jason Varitek is saved from the embarrassment of six passed balls per game, which sounds painful on numerous levels.

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STRAPPED FOR CASH? TRY SELLING MIKE LOWELL’S JOCK: Someone named Phil Castinetti might have been caught up in this whole, nasty sub-prime mortgage fiasco, because he REALLY needs the money. The BOSTON HERALD reports Ebay caught Castinetti, who sells sports memorabilia, trying to sell a Mike Lowell-used jock strap on Ebay.

Excerpt: “Red Sox captain Jason Varitek’s game-used spandex undies sold for $255 on eBay the other day, but the cyber auction site couldn’t support the sale of World Series MVP Mike Lowell’s jock.“SportsWorld memorabilia man Phil Castinetti said eBay yanked Mike’s well-used athletic supporter - with his number on it - from the site the other day, saying it was ‘adult-oriented’ material.”

Castinetti: “I’ll just sell them in the store. I figure since he was the World Series MVP, I can get $200 to $250 for it. People collect stuff that’s different. They’re tired of baseball cards. And they seem to like the game-worn stuff. It’s nuts, it really is.”

OK, he apparently really did say that.

VARITEK SIGNING STUFF INSTEAD OF SUPPLYING SWEETS: Too cheap to go out and buy candy, Jason Varitek spent his Halloween night giving out autographs instead:

The BOSTON GLOBE reports that the Red Sox catcher sat in front of his house and signed items for all the costumed youngsters that dare approached him.Varitek put his name on baseballs, shirts, hats, and even the pillowcases kids were using to haul their evening take of sugary goodies.

Sure, it was a huge thrill for a lot of these young fans & their parents, but would it have been so hard for Varitek to head over to the local Stop & Shop and pick up a bag of Bit O’ Honey or a supply of Snickers?

It’s not like he couldn’t have found time for some shopping, since Series Games 5, 6, or 7, were no longer necessary.Lazy.

• BOSTONIST finds Jason Varitek giving a nod to Bill Cosby, shown by the World Series catcher’s choice of sweater:

• MONDESI’S HOUSE shows former Steeler Chukwun Okobi displaying his Super Bowl ring in style.• MAXIM doesn’t believe what they just saw, as they list their choices of the most fantastic sports finishes.

• Sacre bleu! WAY OFFSIDE learns that Quebec politicians are mad that the captain of the Montreal Canadiens doesn’t speak French.

The following night, Bell Centre fans were treated to a pre-recorded message from the Habs’ on-ice leader: “Ici Saku Koivu, voici mon equipe.”• Ray Ratto of the SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE wants more pep from Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh.

• CONSTRUDA gets down with a couple of white boys pretending to be Charles Barkley doing the Soulja Boy.

• The BAYLOR UNIVERSITY LARIAT catches up with the only good football player they’ve had (besides punter Daniel Sepulveda) - “Saumrai Mike” Singletary:

• THE WIZARD OF ODDS has yet another candidate for SEC Cheap Shot of The Year, courtesy of the Florida Gators.• SERIOUS SPORTS NEWS NETWORK asks for signatures, as USC petitions ESPN to keep their “dynasty” label.

“I THOUGHT YOU HAD IT!” “NO, I THOUGHT YOU HAD IT!”: The Boston Red Sox are once again world champions. Now if they could only find the final-out baseball:

SPORTS ILLUSTRATED strikes out news that the historic horsehide is AWOL. Catcher Jason Varitek was the last one seen to have it, as he tucked the ball into his back pocket after Jonathan Papelbon struck out the last Rockies batter.But after the Game 4 clincher, Varitek said he gave the ball to Papelbon, claiming, “It’s out of my hands.” However, Papelbon’s agent said the player doesn’t know where it is.

Paps might have dropped it while he was shaking and jiving to the joyous Boston crowd during Tuesday’s World Series parade. Too bad kilts don’t have pockets.If the ball doesn’t turn up, maybe team owner John Henry can borrow another one from Doug Mientkiewicz.