Japanese men’s national team volleyball players come up a little short in the literal and figurative sense. They haven’t qualified for the Olympics in sixteen years and their centers are under six feet fall. Desperate times have led to desperate measures, so the Japanese have done what you would expect from that country to rectify the situation.

Naturally, they’ve turned to special underwear that is 20% lighter and will “correct the positioning of the pelvis” to allow them to jump up to one centimeter higher. Possibly. We haven’t seen proof. We suspect it’s just an excuse to reload the ol’ panty vending machines.

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Hello, kids. This is Richard McPlenty, and I’m here to take you through another lazy Sunday. What better way to kick things off than with a little bit of mischief at the expense of young Phillies pitcher Kyle Kendrick.

G.M. Ruben Amaro Jr. was in on it. Manager Charlie Manuel was in on it. Heck, I wouldn’t be surprised if Anna Benson was in on it. She seems to be up for just about anything.

And it worked. They convinced Hendrick he had been traded to Japan. Cruel, and unusually funny. Read more…

Daisuke Matsuzaka can’t be licked - or can he? The star pitcher has just been given the stamp(s) of approval from Japan’s postal service.

SbBer Mark mails in word from MAINICHI DAILY NEWS that the Red Sox hurler will be featured in a set of collectible stamps. The special Dice-K postage will be available throughout post offices in Japan until February 22.

The commemorative sheets are expected to have “10 80-yen stamps showing some of Matsuzaka’s finest moments, including his first victory in his first game as a starting pitcher, and when he held up the trophy celebrating victory in the World Series.”

Looks like the Cubs finally found the right stamps to mail out their own promotional material (that they ripped off of other sports blogs).

On a side note, some Sox fans are selling historically-insensitive shirts of their own. Just don’t send any to China.

The Chicago Cubs have begun their marketing blitz for newly signed Japanese star Kosuke Fukudome.

On the Cubs’ official website, Fukudome is featured in a graphic that displays a historical variation of Japan’s traditional rising sun flag. But that particular flag design is not the official state flag of Japan, and ON 205TH reminds us that neighboring Asian nations aren’t exactly fond of it.

The flag was the symbol of the Imperial Japanese Navy during World War II, which terrorized the region.

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• Jeff Flanagan of the KANSAS CITY STAR gives a shout-out to SbB and our ‘86 Royal adventure:

• SECURE COMPUTING gives a red card to ESPN’s Soccernet site, which has been attacked by viral banner ads.• 100% INJURY RATE discovers 19th century baseball players were quite colorful with their infield chatter.

• YOU BEEN BLINDED finds the Williams Sisters’ dad yelling at the court - the legal court:

• Not that their complaining, but DEUCE OF DAVENPORT wonders why the Worldwide Leader would be offering up a Led Zeppelin video:

RED SOX PITCHER’S PLANS FOR JAPAN MIGHT BE NO DICE: As Red Sox Nation knows, Boston’s season will start next year in Tokyo. But now there’s a chance the club’s biggest Japanese star won’t even play:

The ASSOCIATED PRESS delivers news that pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka may be off the mound and in the maternity ward, as his wife Tomoyo is scheduled to be giving birth to their second child around the same time.Red Sox president Larry Lucchino said the team and the MLB front office were already aware of Dice-K’s impending re-fatherhood when they scheduled the games between the Sox & A’s for March 25 & 26.

Lucchino hopes the kid “will be born at such a time to allow (Dice) to participate,” but also added that Dice “has an important obligation with respect to the birth of that child.”If the baby does pop out at that time, Boston won’t be short-handed when it comes to bringing along Japanese pitchers. Hideki Okajima will have a chance to return to the field where he spent 12 years of his career.

And another Sox hurler is already looking forward to the trip. Curt Schilling proclaims, “I’m not going to pitch over there, so I’m going to have fun.”

Seems like he’s already having fun, with his Red Sox squad beating SbB’s Royals in SPORTING NEWS Strat-O-Matic action.Damn him! (for this week, anyway)

KONNICHIWA, BITCHES! RED SOX TO START 2008 IN TOKYO: Dice-K will be heading home next March. And his Boston baseball teammates are coming along:

The ASSOCIATED PRESS reports that the Red Sox will start their season next year in Japan, where the World Series champs will face off against the Oakland Athletics in Tokyo.The Sawx and A’s will face off in two games on March 25 & 26. In the days beforehand, both teams will play Japanese squads in exhibition games.

Hope their exhibitions go better than Michigan State’s and Ohio State’s.And MLB hopes this isn’t their only foray to the Far East in 2008. The league is hoping to have the Dodgers and Padres play in Beijing, at the ballpark being built for the Olympics. Those games would likely take place in mid-March.

With air pollution constantly covering the Chinese capital, the L.A. club should feel right at home.

HELPING ISIAH, DOLAN TURN THAT FROWN UPSIDE DOWN: Normally, a sex harassment case involving some anonymous ad exec drone wouldn’t garner much of our interest. But when the case involves crotch shots of Maria Sharapova, we’re all in.

The ASSOCIATED PRESS has details on an employee of the Dentsu ad agency who claims he was fired when he refused to participate in company outings to brothels and other sexual escapades.

More interestingly is that said employee revealed in the court proceedings that the CEO of the agency, Toyo Shigeta “during a photo shoot for an advertisement for Canon in Key Biscayne, Florida … took a picture of tennis star Maria Sharapova on the tennis court and proudly distributed the ‘crotch shot’.”

Bless his heart, Shigeta is also accused by the *harassed* employee of having an unnatural obsession about snapping the lady-gardens of healthy young women on other company outings.

So Shigeta is responsible for sending his employees to brothels and focusing on upskirt piccies of attractive females? If he’s ousted over the flap, we have an early bead on his next address of employ:

More on the lawsuit from THE SMOKING GUN.

ROBOT SQUADS RUNNING ON ALL GEARS IN SOCCER MATCH: A recent soccer match in Japan could have been described as a mechanical effort from both teams. That’s because the game was played by robots:

REUTERS passes along news of a motorized matchup between futuristic forwards and gizmoed goalies in Tokyo. The event, called “Robot Athletic Meet 2007″, featured small human-like machines running around an indoor field, trying to be a bionic Beckham or zinc-plated Zidane.For the most part, the action consisted of a lot of clumsy, unconvincing falls on the pitch by the players - not unlike a typical European League match.

But it wasn’t just humanoid halfbacks providing quality entertainment, as Sony supplied robot dogs to the event. The motorized mutts attempted to liven up the game-day atmosphere by “dancing to samba music dressed in colorful samurai and bikini costumes.”

Animatronic poodles in two-piece suits shaking their geared-up groove thangs? We’re there!