MCCOURTS’ BOSOX ENVY LEADS TO COURTING LUCCHINO? Larry Lucchino, the man as responsible as anyone for the emergence of the Red Sox as a MLB superpower, reportedly may eventually land with the Dodgers.

The SAN DIEGO UNION-TRIBUNE reports today that “former Padres marketing chief Charles Steinberg worked nearly three decades as a top aide to CEO Larry Lucchino before joining the Dodgers this month, and in the Padres front office some believe Lucchino might eventually follow Steinberg to the Dodgers.“Dodger Owners Frank and Jamie McCourt are from Boston, and well-known for their unceasing obsession with the area and local MLB member organization. The only rub is the McCourts’ propensity for hogging the spotlight, which is why we find it hard to believe that Lucchino would lunch pail for the insufferable couple.

And according to the U-T, some Red Sox non-uniformed personnel agree: “Red Sox staffers, though, doubt Lucchino would be eager to work for Dodgers owners Frank and Jamie McCourt.”

But on the bright side Dodger fans, it appears your team will have their starting third baseman back in the lineup by opening day.

DODGERS RETURN TO L.A. COLISEUM FOR ONE MORE GAME: The Los Angeles Dodgers are going back to where it all began. Sorry, Brooklyn fans, not that far back.

MLB.COM reports that the Dodgers will play at the Los Angeles Coliseum in an exhibition game next season. The contest is set for March 29 against the Boston Red Sox.The Coliseum is where the Blue Crew spent their first four seasons in La-La-Land before Dodger Stadium was finished in 1962. The Sox game locale is in honor of the 50th anniversary of the Dodgers’ move from NYC to SoCal.

The stadium stop will be just another season-starting detour for the Red Sox, who will be coming back from a two-game trip to Japan.Although it’s a game for charity, there may be bad feelings between the owner’s boxes - wherever they get set up in the makeshift stands.

Sox owner John Henry has been trying desperately to level the Boston-area mansion he bought from Dodgers owners Frank & Jamie McCourt.After the game, Henry might stick around the Coliseum to help dismantle the temporary outfield walls, just so he can tear down something.

RELAX ANGELS FANS, DODGERS WILL NOT BE GETTING AROD We’re wondering if there were other Dodger fans who were as embarrassed as we were at the McCourt’s pathetic PR play yesterday with the Joe Torre press conference.

The team rolled out the playoff-impaired National League manager with a presser on the field, and trumpeted the deal like it actually meant something.The McCourts are all about appearances and not winning. So to be able to land someone who appears to have a major influence on winning but obviously doesn’t (at least in the National League!), and snag the big-faced bench jockey at a flea market price - probably gave the nip/tuck’d couple their first orgasm since FM started frequenting WeHo.

The deal reminds us of scheduling in college football. The good teams like to schedule opposing squads with good tradition but who are down. Or crappy teams in top conferences (think Indiana, Minnesota). So it appears that a win over said squads is meaningful, when it’s no different than beating Bowling Green. In other words, Charlie Weis could really use the McCourts right about now.This press conference quote about Torre yesterday from Jamie McCourt says it all: “It’s sort of the punctuation point to our commitment to winning.”

Punctuation point. As in end. As a Dodger fan, we now really want him to sign with the Angels. Or anything else that will help hasten the departure of those two empty vessels beached on Chavez Ravine.

SOMEONE IN HR IS SLIGHTLY PISSED OFF AT THE MOMENT: The LOS ANGELES TIMES reports today that MLB yesterday gave the Dodgers the green light to “bypass the mandatory interviews of minority candidates” in order to expedite the Torre hire (we love hairpieced-Ned Colletti still trying to play coy).

The Dodgers were allowed to throw the rule down the stairs “because of their hiring record“. One of those hires touted by MLB? Team President Jamie McCourt, who is “the highest-ranking female executive” in MLB. Of course, McCourt also happens to be the husband wife of owner Frank McCourt.

TORRE BUSTING OUT OF THE BRONX ZOO FOR LA-LA-LAND? Does Joe Torre love L.A., or is it all just California dreamin’?

The WESTCHESTER (NY) JOURNAL NEWS reports that the ex-Yankees skipper is expected to become the Dodgers’ new manager. And the NEW YORK TIMES is also spreading the news that Torre is Tinseltown-bound.Recently, the Dodgers were trying to persuade Joe Girardi to take on their managerial duties, but the ex-Marlins leader decided to return to the Bronx.

The team’s decision irked job hopeful Don Mattingly, who ended up leaving his position as Yankees bench coach. And further reports say that Donny Baseball would be joining Torre in Chavez Ravine.

This is all news to Grady Little, who’s still technically under the employ of Frank & Jamie McCourt. However, the Blue Crew apparently is unhappy with the Little effort done in the clubhouse.However, no official announcements have been made. Torre paid a visit to David Letterman on Monday, and talked about the rumor worms wriggling out of the Big Apple about his possible move out west:

“There has been a time or two that something that’s been in the newspaper that hasn’t been true…There’s nothing to any of it.”Of course, those shows are usually taped around 5-6 p.m., so a lot could have happened right after Joe bid Paul Shafer farewell. Stay tuned.

COX GIVES LOWBALLING OWNER McCOURT HIGH HARD ONE: The owners of the Los Angeles Dodgers spent $27 million to get some beachfront property, thanks to a Friend:

BIG TIME LISTINGS reveal the actual amount Frank & Jamie McCourt gave actress Courteney Cox to acquire the 4,486- square-foot Malibu mansion in July.

The $27.25 million purchase was below the original asking price of $33.5 million. But BIG TIME offers up how Ruth Ryon of the LOS ANGELES TIMES said that the completed sale was “close to” the original amount. As they point out, the final transaction was actually 20% less than what Courteney was hoping to get.

But no need to feel sorry for Mrs. David Arquette. She originally bought the place in 2001 for just over $10 million - leaving her a nice profit of $17 million for 6 years’ work.

Or about the same salary as 3 episodes of “Friends”.