• Coming soon to a silver screen near you: Al Pacino as Tommy Lasorda.

• Oh, the football-playing kids these days, with their hijinks ‘n’ horseplay ‘n’ penchant for shoving broomsticks up each other’s butts.

• With one quick skip across The Pond, John Daly goes from white trash to Eurotrash.

• George O’Leary wants his players to kill - er, make that George O’Leary wants to kill his players.

• Not learning the lessons from Vai Sikahema’s slaughtering, Jose Canseco wants to go a few more rounds in the ring.

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You would think that after being phoned up & thrown out by Al Davis, the sad saga of Lane Kiffin & the Raiders would have finally come to an end. Kiffin would no longer had to concern himself with the absurdist opera in Oakland, and instead be free to take whatever orange-clad collegiate coaching offer would come his way.

Yes, you’d think that, but you’d be wrong. Lane just can’t seem to stay away from the adventures at Alameda County Coliseum. Even though he’s no longer on the payroll (and the Raiders desperately don’t want to pay the remainder of his contract), Kiffin is still in contact with one of his ex-players - and is still discussing X’s and O’s.

Read more…

Apparently, not even God can save the Cubs. The CHICAGO TRIBUNE reports that team brought in a priest to spread Holy Water on their bench before Game 1 to exorcise the demons of collapses past. But after last night’s wretched 10-3 loss to the Dodgers in Game 2, the Cubs look ready to call the priest back - this time to perform Last Rites.

How bad was it last night? How about every starting infielder making an error. Not the kind of night the Cubs needed when Carlos Zambrano decided to bring his less-than-A Game to the mound - more like his Z Game. The only bad news for the Dodgers was that Takashi Saito got shelled, giving up three hits and two runs without recording an out. Somehow I think the Dodgers will take the results.

In other playoff news, it turns out the Rays are pretty good after all. At least we know that Evan Longoria is. Tampa Bay’s rookie sensation became the second player in baseball history to smack homers in his first two post-season at-bats in the team’s 6-4 win over the White Sox. (The first? Gary Gaetti, now a coach with in the Rays’ farm system.) If almost-namesake Eva Longoria sent him champagne to celebrate the Rays’ playoff berth, what’s she going to get him now?

But it wasn’t all sunshine and roses in Tampa last night. As the Rays were doing something historic, the No. 10 South Florida football team was doing something familiar: getting upset on an ESPN Thursday night game. In this case it was Pittsburgh doing the honors, with Dave Wannstedt pulling of the type of victory that will somehow save his job after the team finishes 7-5.

As for other sports news, here’s what you missed while you were watching the Vice Presidential Debate and wondering if Joe Biden was wearing more make-up than Sarah Palin:

• BBC SPORT bellies up with news that John Daly is considering swinging his sticks in the European Tour next year - get ready for a run on Gitanes.
• The SALT LAKE CITY TRIBUNE rubs salt in the wounds of USC fans by noting that the Utah Utes did what the Trojans’ couldn’t do: pull off a comeback against Oregon State to maintain a perfect record.
• The DAILY RECORD reports on two couples suffering from MS who had a special day at the closing of Shea Stadium - even if they didn’t need the additional pain of watching the Mets collapse.
• THE HOCKEY NEWS slides over the latest comments from the always calm, cool, & collected Sean Avery, who takes some verbal slapshots at Don Cherry & the NHL’s marketing strategy.
• According to the CHARLOTTE OBSERVER, Rusty Wallace debunks wild rumors that he was planning on making a comeback. Who started the rumors? His brother Kenny.
• Ray Ratto of the SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE is hardly lamenting that the new team name in Oklahoma City will mean an end to the Warriors’ mascot Thunder.
• The ATHENS (OH) POST sets its sights on an Ohio University basketball player who was arrested after shooting two sorority girls with an Airsoft rifle.
• If you believe the NORTHWEST FLORIDA DAILY NEWS, apparently things have gotten so PC on high school football teams that threatening to slit a teammate’s throat will get you arrested.
• The SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE reports that JaMarcus Russell enjoyed playing for Lane Kiffin - expect Al Davis to unexpectedly cut Russell within the week.
• The NEW YORK DAILY NEWS breaks the bad news that Jared Jeffries will be out for six to eight weeks after breaking his leg in a scrimmage.

Alex Marvez of FOXSports.com has a piece this weekend that we thought might be satire, a least for a second: “Player weigh-ins will no longer air as part of the NFL Network’s Combine coverage, FOXSports.com has learned.”

Combine director Jeff Foster said, “There was concern from current NFL players that the participants would be more comfortable if they were not paraded around without their shirts on. It was an entirely appropriate suggestion. The weigh-ins should never have been televised.” Read more…