• THE SCORES REPORT learns how Roger Clemens was able to rise to the occasion so many time on the mound - he was taking Viagra during games.

No wonder the Rocket’s been so randy with Mindy & all those other girls.

• Meanwhile, THE SPORTING BLOG pedals up news that a Belgian cyclist was caught doing cocaine. But since it wasn’t before or during a race, he wasn’t breaking any riding rules.

• Attention, ladies & gentlemen: The BUFFALO NEWS reports that the Bills’ P.A. announcer has been arrested for hosting an underage drinking party.

• EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY knows nothing impresses strength & conditioning coaches like killing an alligator with a shovel.

Read more…

NOW IF ONLY HE COULD PLAY GUITAR OR ACT, HE’D BE SET: The ROCKY MOUNTAIN NEWS has a piece on the whereabouts of Jake Plummer, who retired after being traded last offseason from Denver to Tampa Bay (and leaving $5M in salary on the table).

Plummer is hiding out in the Idaho panhandle with his new wife, former Broncos cheerleader Kollette Klassen. And as you might imagine, he’s doing nothing more than playing rec sports and enjoying the view of the pile of money in his backyard.Plummer refused comment for the story, but a longtime friend said, “Other than Jimmy Buffett and Adam Sandler, I don’t know anybody that has a better life than him.”

If Plummer is inclined to walk his dogs and play handball for the rest of his life in rural Idaho, then that certainly is the case. But having lived in the hyper-competitive environment of major college football and the NFL, we find it hard to believe that the 32-year-old won’t be lacing them up at a training camp near you next August.

Then again, look at those abs. Never mind.