Vladimir Putin Releases Judo Instructional DVD

Despite the fracturing of our nation due to the recent venomous spew from both presidential candidates, one thing we can all get together and agree on is that whoever wins, Vladimir Putin can kick their ass. At least, that was the common belief before Putin made the greatest mistake in political history by revealing his secret hand-to-hand combat techniques by releasing an instructional DVD on judo.

Comrade Putin

THE DAILY MAIL has the scoop. The DVD, hilariously entitled “Let’s Learn Judo with Vladimir Putin”, is the work of a collaboration between Putin, who is a 56-year-old black belt, and former Olympic judo champion Yasuhiro Yamashita. No word yet if the DVD includes a cameo by Putin’s 24-year-old gymnastic mistress.

Ass-kicking and risque rendezvous with young women? Putin is basically just Jack Nicholson, isn’t he?

Read more…

Chesty Celtics Fan Once Tried To Bust Nicholson

We’re now only one day away from the Lakers & Celtics renewing their championship rivalry that was such a big deal in the ’80s. And in the recent craze of NBA nostalgia, the BOSTON HERALD looks back on one fan who tried to make a big difference with her big, um, support for her home team:

Busty Heart Celtics fan

Thanks for the mammaries, Busty Heart.

The well-endowed adult entertainer is remembered fondly by Celtics fans for trying to make a boob out of Jack Nicholson. Read more…

Blog-O-Rama: Dykstra Hates Books, Loves Money

• Neil Best of NEW YORK NEWSDAY learns that Lenny Dykstra still doesn’t like to read, yet makes mad money.

Lenny Dykstra

• OBSERVATIONS FROM ABOVE THE RIM doesn’t like Mike Krzyzewski being criticized for not wearing a ribbon for a slain North Carolina student.

• GOING FIVE HOLE sees nothing wrong with the last event at Yankee Stadium being a hockey game.

Read more…

Jack Nicholson Claims To Have Shot 64 While In His 60s

NICHOLSON CLAIMS ROUND OF 64 WHILE STILL IN HIS 60S: GOLF DIGEST has a surprisingly fun interview with 70-year-old Jack Nicholson about his golf game - and other mildly amusing stuff. Highlights:

Jack Nicholson Golf

On playing a course in Scotland: “The rough wasn’t bad. It was dry, not too heavy, and in the spots it was heavy, I might give it a little kick.“Golf Digest: “What else have you passed up over the years?”
Jack: “Investing in sports. I could have bought into the Yankees for $41 million, and the Lakers for less, with a friend.

Nicholson’s balls “are personalized with a distinctive stamp: JOKER.

Nicholson: “I can play this game as well as Tiger … for a very short time. There’s one shot a hole between me and the best golfers in the world — and 25 million other players between me and the best golfers in the world.’

Nicholson said Larry Bird won’t play with him because he doesn’t play with “fat bellies“.

Nicholson: “Nobody in my group gets to carry a cell phone. I don’t even own a cell phone. ‘The course is no place to do business,’ I tell them. ‘We’re here to play golf.’

And finally, Nicholson on his greatest performance on the links: “I peaked six or seven years ago. Played around par for a couple months. My best round ever? I shot 64 at Lakeside. With witnesses, fortunately. That was a total anomaly. Missed two greens all day, got up and down both times.

Jack Nicholson

Nicholson shot a 64 while in his 60s? We’ll give him a pass on that one. For if we dated women 50 years younger than us, we might have a little trouble with keeping track of numbers too.

Kid Rock Booed At Chicago Blackhawks Hockey Game

KID ROCK ROLLING WITH BOOS FROM BLACKHAWKS FANS: The CHICAGO SUN-TIMES reports Kid Rock loved the reception he got from Blackhawks fans Sunday night:

Kid Rock Blackhawks fan

When the Devil Without A Cause was shown on the United Center big screen, the crowd jeered long & loud. Could be because Rock was decked out in the jersey of the rival Detroit Red Wings.And he was quite proud of the reaction: “Getting booed on the Jumbotron is one of the best things in the world. It means you’re a true fan. Jack Nicholson taught me that when he came to Detroit to see a Lakers game.”

Jack Nicholson Lakers

Sunday night’s contest was also the first Blackhawks home game shown to Chicago TV viewers this season. And the stars came out to be seen, including actress Joan Cusack and former Chicago Bull Bill Wennington.Remarkably, TV cameras in the arena didn’t keep local fans away. The announced attendance was 19,045 - the biggest crowd of the season.

Guess Bill Wirtz was wrong.