You know how there are some bar games that you get a lot better at the drunker you are? I don’t know about you, but I’m a much better darts player when I’ve had a few beers in me. It’s as though I’m in a zone. A drunken, blurry, laser-guided dart-throwing zone. I don’t know why it works out that way, but it does. Well, while drinking and darts tend to mix well, there are some sports where it’s just not recommended.
Let’s take high-jumping as an example. Sure, taking five or six shots of vodka before your jump might make you think you can jump clear over a mountain, but in reality, it doesn’t work that way. That may seem like common sense, but it’s something Russian high-jumper Ivan Ukhov had to learn the hard way.
If you look through the annals of sports history, you’ll find that alcohol has had a hand in many of our fondest sports memories: David Wells has “half drunk” (or maybe just hungover) during his perfect game in ‘98, Joe Namath became a hero to a new generation after drunkenly sexually harassing Suzy Kolber, and without alcohol we wouldn’t even care about Kyle Orton. And now, ladies and gents, we’d like to introduce a brand new entry in the Alcoholic Athlete Hall of Fame: Russian high jumper Ivan Ukhov.
(Obviously not Ivan, but an awesome photo anyway)
At some track competition called the Lausanne Grand Prix, Ukhov tried to clear the high jump bar while he was completely smashed! And you better believe there’s video after the jump.