Don’t believe anything about that hottie who just tried to friend you on Facebook. I’ve watched enough sensationalist TV to know it could really be Chris Hansen on the other end. Or, even worse, Scott Pioli.
‘HEAD FOOTBALL COACH’ ON DUKE’S ONLINE JOB LISTINGS: With the trials & tribulations in searching for a head football coach, Duke is going for the no-frills approach:
On the university’s human resources website, job seekers can search for available openings in various departments on the Durham campus.Among the want ads for ‘University Counsel Assistant’ & ‘Food Service Coordinator’, there sits a listing for ‘Head Football Coach’ (job code 1206), with the following occupational summary:
“Direct and coordinate the planning, organizing and coaching of the Duke University football team.”
Luckily for any hopeful applicants, there seems to be no requirements for having any skills or training to get the job:
No skills or training needed? That could be why the Blue Devils have played so poorly the past few seasons.
Not satisfied with his accomplishments, Joe spent the last five years working towards his degree, by taking courses through the school’s External Degree program.Now Namath will be joining 900 others back on campus this Saturday for graduation. For those who can’t make it to Coleman Coliseum in person, the ceremonies will be shown live over the Internet.
FINALLY FOUND: THE ULTIMATE STAY-AT-HOME BUSINESS! In our neverending quest for high quality Michael Vick memorabilia, we ran across this fancy pants web destination today:
MichaelVickCards.com has one heckuva mission statement/business model: “Dedicated to Offering Only Michael Vick Cards and Collectibles.“We had previously narrowed down our most-desired career to raising rabbits in rural Kentucky for experiments in the development of male cosmetics, but this biz might just trump that bright idea.
SHOCKEY SELECTIVE WITH GAL PALS FOR NEW YEAR’S EVE: DEADSPIN has the chance of a lifetime for all you Big Apple broads and Tri-State trollops: Jeremy Shockey wants YOU! - to drink & dance for his amusement:
The New York Giant is looking for some supple scenery to parade around at his New Year’s Eve party. And what better way to locate lovely ladies than by a Craigslist casting call.The posting promotes how “Manhattan’s hottest, newest nightclub” - no name or location mentioned - wants to surround Shockey and his posse with “the city’s hottest girls.”
However, it’s not just a case of showing up for possible entry - into the club, or from other attendees. All pretty partygoers must be pre-approved before they can commence jigglin’ with Jeremy.The listing states, “If you think you can dress, dance, and drink the part, then please send one head and one body shot, as well as your name and contact info” to some random Gmail address.
ESPN ANALYST GETS INTO IT WITH CHAT ROOM CHUCKLERS: Doug Gottlieb does not suffer fools gladly:
DEADSPIN gets a battle communique from TURTLE SPORTS REPORT on a recent war of words between the college basketball analyst and comedic commenters on ESPN.com.Here’s some of the selected sparring as it occured in the Worldwide Leader’s chat room:
(Background note: During his freshman year at Notre Dame, Gottlieb was convicted of stealing his roommate’s credit cards and ringing up $900 in charges. He soon transferred to Oklahoma State.)”Mike (Indiana): How did your mediocre basketball career prepare you for a mediocre broadcasting career?
Doug Gottlieb: (4:04 PM ET ) So your mediocre life can prepare you for a mediocre afterlife….and by the way, which one of us works for ESPN….hey and next time…when I you say 30 minutes or less….get here on time with my pizza.
John (Notre Dame): Doug, I lost my credit card, where were you last night?Doug Gottlieb: (4:27 PM ET ) Ask your mom.
Johns Mom (Notre Dame): GOTTLIEB I KNOW YOU STOLE MY SON’S CREDIT CARD!
Doug Gottlieb: (4:34 PM ET ) Ten years ago I made a mistake…and payed for it…18 years ago YOU WERE your parents mistake and they are still paying for it.”Touche.
There’s a valuable lesson to be learned in all this - don’t dilly-dally digitally with a defiant Doug.
Just imagine the fireworks flying if Gottlieb ever came to message board blows with fellow Bristol employee Scott Van Pelt.
SOCCER PLAYER’S PAYSLIP SLIPS ONTO INTERNET FORUMS: An English soccer club is wondering how a player’s payslip somehow slipped onto the Internet:
The BBC cashes in on news that Liverpool striker John Arne Riise had his paycheck displayed on numerous website forums. And team doesn’t know how it got there.Online visitors were treated to the statement that said Riise took home almost £140,000 - or $280,000 - in monthly wages. It even detailed a £65 deduction for meals.
The pay stub also featured other personal info on Riise, including his home address and insurance policy numbers.
So that’s how socialized health care works - everyone just bills their treatments to the nearest pro midfielder.
Someone named Edson Diaz sent two nasty emails to the Myspace account of Jennifer Walcott (Miss August 2001). Walcott also happens to be dating Adam Archuleta, the 6-foot, 223-pound safety for the Chicago Bears.
A sampling of Diaz’ handiwork:WHEN I FIND OUT WHERE YOU LIVE IM GONNA GET YOU, THIS IS BARELY THE BEGINNING, THIS ISN’T OVER
TIME FOR YOU TO SUFFER, LEARN HOW TO FIGHT WHITE GIRL BECAUSE WHEN WE FIND OUT WHERE YOU LIVE WERE GONNA GET YOU AND THE REST OF YOU PIGS
Her manager’s reasoned reation to the notes. “It seems that the guy was just angry at hot girls. He could just be an angry guy who has no luck with girls and decided to act in a real dumb way.”
The Beacon-News also notes that Edson also called Walcott “white trash” in one email and went on “to write that when Playboy founder Hugh Hefner dies, the women of Playboy will find out they were being used, prosecutors said.”
With newsbreaking skills like that, Edson really belongs in the newspaper business. Non-internet division.Anway, Diaz was cuffed and stuffed by Aurora Police (we know, we’re thinking the same thing) and charged with Cyberstalking. He’s out of the can after posting $20,000 bond.