HIPSTER RED ALERT: Chicago 2016 Shirts On Sale

If you’ve got a healthy sense of irony and a sh*theel streak a mile long, we’ve got sensational news for you. As you’ve likely heard, Chicago was axed from Olympic consideration this afternoon as the IOC tabbed Rio for the 2016 games. Thongs and drugs ahoy! What does that mean for you, hipster? Only a sensational addition to your collection of ironic shirts. Behold.

Chicago Olympic 2016 Shirts
(Hahahahahahaha)

Yes, as of right now, they’re still on sale; for the low low price of $18.99, you too can have a relic of defeat that’ll make all your thick-rimmed glasses-wearing friends envious. Our favorite part? Oh, without a doubt, the “BE A PART OF IT!” on the back. What’s the “IT”? Epic failure? We could see that.

If you’re not seeing the appeal in these shirts, Patton Oswalt is more than happy to explain. Video is after the jump.

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Pele Says He’ll Rep Brazil ‘Til Death; Where’s MJ?

The IOC’s highly anticipated 2016 Summer Olympics vote is tomorrow, and what initially appeared to be a slam dunk for the USA has turned into a legitimate two-horse race.

Pele
(Pele, representing his country by holding up a Brazilian flag. Please disregard the flag in his other hand.)

Try as President Obama might, Chicago is facing stiff competition from Rio de Janeiro for hosting rights, and it might have something to do with the fact that the Brazilian athletic community is pulling out all the stops. And by that, of course, we mean bringing Pele to Copenhagen on Friday to represent Brazil’s bid. When one thinks of Chicago’s most famous athletes, of course, the list starts and ends with Brad Sellers Michael Jordan. He’s not going to Copenhagen, though, and that means it’s time for Pele to somehow overstate his importance. Mission accomplished.

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