Brandon Marshall Travels Through World History

August 26, 2009. Denver, Colorado. Broncos training camp:

Denver Broncos receiver Brandon Marshall puts up the most half-hearted attempt at competition in recent sporting history at a Broncos training camp practice. His total lack of effort makes Richie Tenenbaum look like the Tasmanian Devil on crack cocaine. It also accomplishes the unusual task of forcing the team to suspend the receiver for insubordination, and any casual observer of the footage would agree that coach Josh McDaniels had no choice but to do so.

Brandon Marshall Doesn't Stop John Wilkes Booth

Unbeknownst to Marshall, Broncos team doctors are also mad scientists, and during practice the men were perfecting the chronomorphotron, which allows for travel backwards and forwards through time. Like you didn’t already know that. So after being sent off the field by coaches, Marshall wanders through a curiously empty locker room. He’s angry and looking for things to hit. He sees one stall with a closed door - most don’t even have doors - and the nameplate of a teammate he doesn’t recognize: “T. Machine.” He opens it, looking for things to throw. He finds a whole new world.

Inside the stall are dials, buttons, gadgets and gauges. Most importantly, there’s a panel on the inside of the door with date, latitude, and longitude. Marshall, thinking they’re sports scores or something, randomly tweaks everything in site before hitting “SEND.” This is his journey.

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