Idaho Vandals Get, You Guessed It, Vandalized

Last weekend the University of Idaho football team had nearly $3,000 worth of practice equipment stolen from the program.

Robb Akey

KREM.com via The Wiz reports helmets, pads and footballs were among the items taken from the team’s Kibbie Dome home. Yes, it’s amusing that the school with the nickname “Vandals” was vandalized, but that isn’t the funniest part of the story.

That would be the comment from Idaho coach Robb Akey about the burglary:
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Idaho AD Has Had Enough Of Boise State’s Plane

This past Monday, Boise State became the fifth college sports program (and the first outside the BCS) to get their team’s logo on an airplane; they joined the Pac-10 members in Oregon and Washington as partners with Horizon Air.

Boise State Airplane for the lulz
(Waaaaait a minute. A twin prop? You couldn’t even get your logo on a real jet? Boise, Boise, Boise…)

Unfortunately, not everybody who’s going to fly in that plane is a Boise State fan. That ordinarily wouldn’t be too much of an issue, but when we’re in the middle of a season, fans of the Broncos’ opponents may take a bit of offense. ADs of the Broncos opponents, then, are really not going to stand for this crap. And thus we find Idaho AD Rob Spear, taking the most principled stand in history.

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CFB Update #2: Michigan-ND Exciting Once Again

For past two seasons, the once-mighty Michigan-Notre Dame rivalry has been mighty crappy. There was ND’s 35-17 wipeout of the Wolverines in South Bend last season, and then there was UM’s 38-0 a$$-whooping of the Irish in Ann Arbor the season before that. So you’d figure that today’s matchup in the Big House would be a big bore.

Michigan Notre Dame

Big mistake to assume that. Like two aging heavyweights whose glory days appeared to have been behind them, Michigan & Notre Dame traded punches all afternoon (figurative, not literal) as the score see-sawed back & forth. But it was the Maize & Blue who managed the final knockout blow, as Tate Forcier tossed a 5-yard TD pass to Greg Matthews with 11 seconds left. So Hail to the Victors in a 38-34 thriller.

(Time to get those Charlie Weis-bashing billboards back up.)

Speaking of knockouts, another top-5 team from the Sooner state took another tumble on the field in an upset loss.

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Oh No, Idaho! Vandals Coordinator Popped For DUI

If you’re a coach with the University of Idaho’s football team, I’m guessing there isn’t much to do. The city of Moscow, ID, is about as inviting as the one in Russia, except without all the balmy weather. And it’s not like you really need to worry about recruiting – any player in state who is decent is going to Boise State, so you’re pretty much getting the players you get.

Mark Criner

But there is always alcohol – and we’re talking about more than just “sparkling muscatel, one of the finest wines of Idaho.” The booze flows pretty freely in Idaho and you can understand why, whether just as a way to keep warm or out of sheer boredom. Or to help you forget that your coaching career has led you to Moscow, Idaho - which might have happened with Idaho Vandals defensive coordinator Mark Criner, who was arrested Monday morning for a DUI.

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Speed Read: Lakers & Hawks(!) Are Still Unbeaten

I guess it’s not that surprising that the Los Angeles Lakers have started off the NBA season undefeated - they return all the pieces from the Western Conference champions, with a healthy Andrew Bynum to boot. But the Atlanta Hawks? Really? In its own way, it’s almost as improbable as when the Houston Rockets went on that 22-game winning streak last season.

Al Horford

Clearly, it has to end at some point, and you would think sooner rather than later. But there the Hawks were last night, going into Chicago and taking out the Bulls 113-108 behind a career-high 27 points and 17 rebounds by Al Horford. And their starting PF Josh Smith isn’t even playing!

Kobe Bryant vs Mavericks

Of course, tonight is a bit of a litmus test, since they are playing the defending champion Boston Celtics. Win that game, and then we’ll really have something. As for the other undefeated team, the Lakers matched the Hawks (who often do you read that?) by beating the Mavericks 106-99. Meanwhile, Phil Jackson is so thrilled that he’s thinking about not coming back next season.

Other live, local and late-breaking sports news:

Which team is most likely to pick up their first loss in the next 7 days?

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Speed Read: Obama Wins Election, Covers Spread

How ironic is it that the giant nail in the coffin of John McCain’s Presidential hopes last night came when the networks declared Ohio for Barack Obama. After all, McCain appeared to run his campaign like Jim Tressel cluelessly bumbling his way through coaching Ohio State to another BCS Title Game meltdown. In this analogy, Obama really was LSU or Florida: faster, hungrier and ready to deliver a hellacious beatdown.

John McCain as Jim Tressel

(Does this make Sarah Palin the Maurice Clarett of the ticket - initially exciting but eventually a total disaster? I’ll leave that up to you to decide.)

But while the Maverick of the Senate might have suffered an historic thumping on Tuesday night, the Mavericks of Dallas were taking a venerable but aging institution out to the woodshed, beating the Spurs 98-81 to drop San Antonio to 0-3 for the first time in the team’s NBA history. They can’t possibly be missing Manu Ginobli this much, could they?

Tony Parker

And what about Matt Lindland, the MMA fighter who was the Republician candidate for a State House seat? Unfortunately for him, he was about as competitive as Kimbo Slice, as he fell to a double digit defeat at the hands of his Democratic opponent. I would have said that having a campaign manager named Tootie Smith was a bad sign, but then again…Scooter Libby.

Matt Lindland

On to the other, slightly less significant news:

  • Don’t tase him, bro! The TRI-CITY HERALD says that an Arena Football player was zapped by airport security after busting through a window at the terminal and getting on the tarmac trying to get to his flight. That’s called dedication.
  • FARTHER OFF THE WALL has an offer for you: how about having Pete Arbogast, the radio voice of the USC Trojans, call your kids’ soccer game for just $500? And the Web site offering these services is just as professional looking as you would expect from a media type whoring himself out for a few bucks.
  • The NEW YORK TIMES dials in news that NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell is sending a letter to Senators blaming the cable companies for why you don’t have the NFL Network. Didn’t he get the memo that Obama’s first priority is getting a college football playoff?
  • The CHICAGO TRIBUNE breaks down the news that Illinois WR Jeff Cumberland is going to play this week despite breaking teammate Mikel LeShoure’s jaw in a fight last Saturday night.
  • Do they have any decent sushi places in Atlanta? The ATLANTA JOURNAL CONSTITUTION notes that the Braves have made an offer to 22-year-old Japanese pitching phenom Junichi Tazawa.
  • How far has the Tennesee football program fallen? The WINSTON SALEM JOURAL says that David Cutcliffe would rather stay at Duke than consider taking the Vols’ head coaching job.
  • The MOSCOW-PULLMAN DAILY NEWS reports that three Idaho football players have been suspended after being charged with battery after a fight at a house party this weekend. What do you expect from the players when you call the team the “Vandals?”
  • According to the LOS ANGELES TIMES, Oaks Christian High School - the school that has the sons of Joe Montana, Wayne Gretzky and Will Smith - might be in trouble for advertising its athletic department on local TV. The ads were OK, but still better than Hancock.
  • BYU quarterback Max Hall tells the SALT LAKE TRIBUNE that he’ll be missing Thursday night’s huge Mountain West Conference game between Utah and TCU because he can’t miss The Office. And I thought Dwight Schrute was Amish and not Mormon.
  • Bob Stoops tells THE OKLAHOMAN that he’s come full circle and now supports a college football playoff. Sounds like Obama’s minions got to him.

What would you like to see President Obama do for you the sports fan?

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Sheets Almost On Fire; Clemens Feeling Snubbed

• Brewers fans were hoping Ben Sheets would get fired up for the postseason run, but probably not in this way.

Ben Sheets Roger Clemens

Roger Clemens is “heartbroken” that he was left out of the Yankee Stadium finale’s honor roll.

• Your 2009 BCS championship game - Wisconsin vs. Utah?!

• A church in Michigan hopes to boost attendance by allowing parishoners to put on sports jerseys for the Sunday services.

• Another wardrobe malfunction for the Idaho Vandals - first, the football players have ‘I’s on their butts, and now the school thinks its cheerleaders are too scantily clad.

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Idaho Finds Its Cheerleaders Are Just Too Sexy

Until now, the only thing the state of Idaho has ever been known for was potatoes. Delicious, delicious potatoes. Supermarkets across the country have their shelves filled with wonderful Idaho potatoes, and you’ve probably eaten one yourself recently. I wonder if they have a guy who checks every potato and inspects it to make sure it’s up to Idaho potato standards. If they do, I wonder if he’s ever found one potato to be too sexy.

Idaho cheerleaders

You see, in Idaho, they don’t just take their potatoes seriously. No, they also care about their football team at the University of Idaho. Earlier this season the school made a change to the football team’s uniforms when players and fans alike complained that the “I” located on everybody’s butt looked stupid.

They were right, they did look stupid. Well now it seems the power has gone to people’s heads in Idaho, as now they’ve ditched the cheerleaders uniforms because they’re “too skimpy.”

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U of Idaho Determines There Is No ‘I’ in Posterior

After the University of Arizona Wildcats pounded the University of Idaho Vandals repeatedly in a tender area for a 70-0 win, university doctors noticed two unfortunate changes in the Vandal players. First, there seemed to be a huge hole in the Vandal rear defense that doctors weren’t sure would heal by this week’s game against Idaho State.

University of Idaho uniform I-sore

Second, while inspecting that sensitive spot on the Vandals, they noticed a huge ‘I’ attempting to cover the fresh wound. Apparently, that’s where Nike and the university thought a giant University of Idaho logo would look great this season. The university has changed their mind and the I’s no longer have it, at least from behind.

Seriously, when was the last time putting a logo on someone’s buttocks been worthwhile?

We concede the point.

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Blog-A-Roni: Bubba Cares Not For Senior Golfers

• AWFUL ANNOUNCING hears Bubba Watson not respecting his elders, as TV cameras picks up the golfer saying, “Veterans can kiss my ass!


• Tony Pauline of SPORTS ILLUSTRATED is hip to NFL hopeful Colt Brennan having some pre-draft surgery done.

• WITH LEATHER enjoys a big slice of beefcake, served up by the Idaho Vandals football team.

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