Speed Read: Dominican Dream Done In by Dutch

The Netherlands’ World Baseball Classic team showed just how awesome colonialism was with their second victory over the Dominican Republic yesterday, 2-1 in 11 innings. This unlikely series of events pushes the Netherlands team into the second round and eliminates the Dominican squad.

Netherlands World Baseball Classic

The Netherlands team’s combination of Arubans, Netherlands Antilles residents, and the occasional Dutch person bested the Dominicanos behind the power of their pitching in both games, no doubt buoyed by pitching coach Bert Blyleven.

If Blyleven can turn Sidney Ponson into a nominal pitcher again, he should launch past potential MLB pitching coach jobs and apply for beatification.

(We kid.  While the WBC is a watering hole for semi-famous former ballplayers, it’s not exactly a test of coaching mettle. Also, 24 walks in 29 innings isn’t worth bragging about. Small sample size, thy name is “first-round WBC exit for the DR”.)

Jay Cutler Broncos

Apparently, Jay Cutler doesn’t picture himself as chattel. He leans into the mirror and he sees a diabetic, perhaps. He probably sees a Pro Bowl quarterback. However, he just can’t see the piece o’meat others do.

Therefore, the healing process after his near-trade (okay, his far-trade) from the Broncos to Tampa (or Kansas City or what not) hasn’t gone smoothly. In fact, it’s more of a scab-picking competition between Broncos management and Cutler’s people. An attempt at a long-distance group hug fell apart yesterday and both sides are the worse for wear for it.

We just finished listening to Bill Simmons’ latest podcast with Houston Rockets GM Daryl Morey and, yes, he’s brilliant. However, he kept referring to his players as “assets” he needed to accumulate to gather different assets down the line.

This is all fine and true, but you don’t engender loyalty when you refer to your employees with the same terminology as you’d use to describe your real estate holdings.

So yes, it’s a big bad business and Cutler knew what he was in for when he signed up to be a professional ballplayer, but he doesn’t have to like it. Also, if he has the leverage, he doesn’t have to put up with it.

And hey… if the Broncos don’t need a 25-year-old quarterback that has proved more than competent for the job, maybe they can’t value their assets or their people as well as they could.

Tony Zendejas Los Angeles Rams

Former NFL placekicker Tony Zendejas found himself acquitted of rape charges by a Pomona jury yesterday. (The rather painful details have been covered here previously;  those sensitive to discussion of “anal tears” are encouraged to pass on the link.)

Club Zendejas

At least he can safely return to Party Time, Zendejas Time!!!!! now.

And now the proverbial hail of bullets while wrestling an injured lunatic ninja kangaroo in your living room

Ben Woodside of North Dakota State

Hulk Hogan shopping at Wal-Mart

Who are you rooting for in the WBC now?

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Blog-O-Rama: Abigail Clancy Forgets To Cover Up

• WITH LEATHER keeps abreast of the topless travels of English soccer WAG Abigail Clancy.

Abigail Clancy Peter Crouch girlfriend

(WL’s got the hook-up for more photos of Abby’s freed funbags)

• Michael David Smith of AOL FANHOUSE has the odds on who’ll become DEADSPIN’s next grand poopah.

• In the meantime, the soon-to-be Leitch-less site thinks it’s fabulous that gamblers can now bet on a gay sporting event.

• LAIST spikes up some provocative photos from last weekend’s Lushness X beach volleyball tournament.

Read more…

Brog: Jenner Adores SPORTSbyBROOKS Girl Cora

Had several people today email me links to photos of SbB Girl Cora Skinner and Brody Jenner on the beach in Hawaii. I haven’t been following Cora’s career that closely the past couple years, but apparently she’s been an item for some time with gentleman Jenner - and his rather regrettable ink job:

Cora Skinner Brody Jenner Hawaii Beach Pics

Cora has done a lot of modeling over the years, mainly for print ads. She’s also dabbled in acting and appeared in the Lingerie Bowl - before it turned into fiasco.

SbB Girl Cora Skinner

(SbB Girl Cora Skinner - appeared in “The Office”)

You may have seen a couple other SbB Girls on TV or in the theater as well in the past year.

Melissa Smith appeared in a couple reality shows, and Charity Shea, after playing Justin Timberlake’s love interest in the film “Alpha Dog”, now has her own show on the cable net know as “The-N”.

SbB Girl Melissa Smith

(SbB Girl Melissa Smith - “Pussycat Dolls”, “Making The Band” credits)

When recruiting SbB Girls in the past, I used to be all over the Hollywood scene, but not so much anymore. When evaluating girls for SbB (we get several submissions now per week), I’m more focused on if I think our readers will enjoy their photos - and want to come back for more.

That’s not to say that Cora, Melissa and Charity haven’t been popular on the site, it’s just that our more recent crop of girls have been wildly popular with users.

SbB Girl Charity Shea

(SbB Girl Charity Shea - starred opposite Justin Timberlake in “Alpha Dog”)

And like I said earlier this week, I hope to put out some calendars, posters and wallpapers of our most popular girls before the year is out (God knows, we’ve had thousands of requests over the years). Let me know your feedback or ideas on that sort of thing.

The HOLLYWOOD REPORTER notes today that Dennis Rodman, Dustin Diamond, Butterbean and Danny Bonaduce will take part in CMT’s upcoming reality series, “Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling.”

Hulk Hogan And Hottie

I highly doubt any of that will happen, since there’s no way such an event would ever take place without Jose Canseco’s participation.

More breaking news out of Miami today about Bill Parcells and Jason Taylor (actually, it’s not all that interesting, I just wanted an excuse to post the below pic).

Bill Parcells Fatty Golf

(Casting for New Line Cinemas’ much-anticipated Colin Montgomerie biopic)

Parcells and Taylor have FINALLY had a face-to-face. And no, sign language was not a requirement. Read more…

Racer’s Wife: Place Behind Danica, Wear A Dress

Tony Kanaan’s wife suggests her IRL hubby go throw on a dress if he’s gonna qualify behind Danica Patrick.

Danica Patrick red dress

Maybe a little stylish number like this?

• Speaking of married life, a couple of Dallas DJs don’t show much respect to some of the Royals’ significant others.

• First, Mindy McCready’s mom confirms her daughter’s connection to Roger Clemens. Now, the country singer’s dad adds that the two did the tantric tango together.

Jason Taylor tries to bring some football flair to “Dancing With The Stars.” Bill Parcells remains unimpressed.

Hulk Hogan caught placing his 24-inch pythons on some pretty posteriors.

Read more…

Hulk REALLY Likes Brooke’s Friends, Butt This?!

Some recent photos of Hulk Hoganand daughter Brooke?!:

Hulk Hogan Rubs Daughter Brooke's Butt

Pop culture junkies know that Hulk cheated on his wife of 24 years, Linda, with one of Brooke’s friends. So we suppose these photos, in that context, or completely normal.

Actually, we’re not so sure about that. We might have to consult Roger Clemens on it.

Blog-O-Rama: Burn, Duke Blue Devils, Burn Baby!

  • Critical Fantatic of FAN IQ (not pictured, I hope) breaks down the West Virginia win over Duke yesterday. No Sweet Sixteen for you!

Burning couch

  • How much is everyone enjoying the Duke loss? DEADSPIN shows us that one message board has temporarily shut down.

Read more…

Blog-O-Rama: Maria Sharapova Has A Nice Pass

• BUSTED COVERAGE wouldn’t mind huddling up with Maria Sharapova at quarterback.

Maria Sharapova quarterback

• Michael David Smith of AOL FANHOUSE reports drug testing in cycling may be going a bit too far, as Kevin van Impe was ordered to immediately give a urine sample - in the middle of arranging his young son’s funeral.

• DEUCE OF DAVENPORT shoots us news that soccer had returned to war-torn Chechnya after a 14-year absence. Read more…

Blog-Some: Classic ESPN Cockfighting Commercial

• YOU BEEN BLINDED scratches up this classic ESPN commercial featuring the Red Sox & Yankees cockfighting:

• CNBC’s Darren Rovell hoops it up with the Harlem Globetrotters - by hitting the court as a Washington General.

• The NEW YORK POST’s PAGE SIX briefs us that Tom Brady may soon be showing off in Calvin Klein skivvies.

• The NATIONAL ENQUIRER leg-drops a bombshell that Hulk Hogan’s been secretly squeezing his 24-inch pythons around a friend of his daughter’s

Read more…

Blog-O-Rama: SalesGenie Super Bowl Ad Racist?

• MJD of YAHOO SPORTS growls about one Super Bowl ad panda-ring to offensive stereotypes:

Super Bowl ad Chinese panda

• In a similar vein, PYLE OF LIST brings up their choices of 9 racist moments in sports history.

• TOWEL ROAD points out Sunday’s game wasn’t just for Giants and Pats supporters, but also for Bears fans.

• RIZZO SPORTS BLOG tosses a few questions at Arizona’s stunning softball pitcher, Taryne Mowatt:

Taryne Mowatt

• AOL FANHOUSE reads up on some Amazon users having some fun tagging the Pats’ karma-killing 19-0 book.

• FOOD COURT LUNCH digests the trials of Raptors forward Andrea Bargnani’s great escape.

Read more…