2:00 PM The new AP poll is out, and Ohio State is ranked ahead of USC, who is ranked ahead of Oregon. Um, who beat who again?
12:56 PMMemphis guard Allen Iverson didn't show for the Gristle's game last night here in Los Angles. Instead, it's being reported that he went to Atlanta "after receiving permission to leave the team to attend to personal business." I'm sure coach Lionel Hollins appreciate that, team Owner Michael Heisley.
12:47 PM The only thing worse than being a third-year defensive grad assistant at the University of Minnesota is being a third-year defensive grad assistant at the University of Minnesota arrested for DWI.
Nothing much amazes me anymore, especially after what the cops caught that guy doing in Costco. But I’m still taken aback at times over how tone-deaf pro sports front office folks can be when it comes to the public relations game.
The Houston Astros fired first-base coach Jose Cruz today. You might just as well say “The Giants banned Willie Mays from AT&T Park” or “The Cardinals kicked away Stan Musial’s cane and sent him headlong down a flight of stairs.” Not that Cruz was in that class as a player, but he’s an icon in Houston, and that franchise needs all the icons — and fan good will — it can get. Read more…
When last we left pitcher Shawn Chacon, he had “accidentally” choked Houston Astros general manager Ed Wade, and threw him to the ground. As would happen to you or me, that got him released and banished to the Newark Bears, where he played until signing a Single-A contract with the Oakland A’s on June 18.
Well now, more fun! Chacon was arrested on Monday night at a bowling alley in Colorado in connection with $50,000 in unpaid gambling debts in Las Vegas. Let those who have never been arrested in a bowling alley for Vegas gambling debts throw the first stone. Read more…
You! Yes, you, with the comically small amount of money! Would you like to attend an actual “sporting event” with “nationally recognized teams” and the possibility of seeing a “professional sports superstar”? Fret not! SbB@3 will put you in the cheapest seats imaginable, so you can have the privilege of squinting at millionaires who gave up on their season… often before it even began!
Our first special sporting event comes from sunny Los Angeles, the city where even the ugly people are beautiful. There resides sporting’s pre-eminent international man of intrigue, David Beckham. What would you pay to watch the superstar reinvent the sport of soccer for this great country? $500? $1,000? $55,000? Nay, nay, and nay!
Normally, you don’t see a broadcast booth spend a plurality of a football game raving about the “time of possession” statistic. Then again, normally, you don’t see a team win said battle by a full 30 minutes of game time, which is precisely what Miami did to Indianapolis last night. And then again, you don’t normally see a team control the ball for fewer than 15 minutes of the game… and win anyway.
(”Okay, so you just scored the go-ahead touchdown. Allow me to retort: BOOOO THUMBS DOWN TO YOU BOOOOOOO!”)
But lo and behold, thanks to the quickest of quick-strike offenses, the Colts did exactly that; thanks to touchdown drives of 1, 6, and 4 plays, Indianapolis prevailed in Miami, 27-23. Indeed, the Colts’ longest drive of the night was a 9-play drive that led to a 2nd quarter field goal; on the other side of the field, the Fins had exactly one shorter drive: an 8-play, 25-yard drive that ended in a punt. After that, literally every drive of theirs was 9 plays or longer. That’s the longest shortest drive since [ERROR WE ARE NOT ELIAS SPORTS BUREAU CLIENTS ABORT, RETRY, FAIL?].
Ah, but without turnovers, time of possession is effectively meaningless. Read more…
OK, we needed a story like this one. Tonight is Aaron Boone night at Wrigley Field, as the third baseman triumphantly returns to the Astros after undergoing open-heart surgery in March. You don’t hear “triumphant” and “Astros” in the same sentence very often, so enjoy it. Gratifying doesn’t half describe it.
Boone had just signed with the Astros and was going through his spring training paces in March when his doctor discovered that the heart irregularity he’s had since childhood — a defective aortic valve — had worsened. He required a somewhat risky open-heart surgery procedure to fix the problem. That is one hell of a way to get onto the 60-day disabled list. Read more…
You probably thought we were avoiding it today. And you know what? We were going to. I mean, come on - the guy’s way past his prime. Just because he’s going north, back to his old stomping grounds doesn’t mean he’s the same player he was in the ’90s and the earlier part of this decade. The magic is gone at this point; he only looks like the superstar of 10-15 years ago.
(This picture sorta ruins the joke.)
Yeah, we said we weren’t going to talk about him, but we just couldn’t help ourselves. And when you consider the guy’s been in the league since 1991 - anytime he changes teams, it’s a big story. So here we are.
I’m on west coast time, so it’s only now time to sit down for breakfast. Let’s see, which will it be this morning? “Houston’s Triple Play” (fortified with eight different kinds of Fail), or “Derek Jeter’s” (real bits of Derek Jeter in every spoonful!)? Hey Dara, where’s the milk?
With the unsettling news that Terrell Owenshas released his own brand of cereal recently (You’ll OD on Deliciousness!), we decided to look back at some other dubious breakfast choices for your kids. And hey, adults like them too! The big surprise is that all of these have been approved by the FDA. Read more…
Let’s be honest with ourselves: the Penguins are done. Sure, technically all Detroit did on Sunday night was hold home ice advantage with their 3-1 win over Pittsburgh in Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Finals, the same score as Game 1. But their 2-0 lead pretty much feels insurmountable - does anyone feel like the Penguins can take four of the next five games against the Red Wings? Didn’t think so.
Especially since the Red Wings and their old, tired legs, were able to outhustle, outskate and just plain outplay the Penguins 24 hours after Game 1, a made-for-TV contrivance that was supposed to be their downfall. Pittsburgh’s Big Two of Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin have combined for one goal in the first two games, half as many as Detroit’s Justin Abdelkader, who was playing minor-league hockey in May. And both of his goals have been beauties, including his singlehanded effort last night:
The bottom line for Pittsburgh is simple: when their main goal scorers are being held in check, and their goaltending is soft, they are going to lose. It doesn’t matter how much revenge they want, or if Evgeni Malkin tries to start fights to fire the team up - Detroit is just the better team (and doing this without Pavel Datsyuk, mind you).
Speaking of Malkin’s fisticuffs: despite picking up an instigator penalty at the end of Game 2, which should be an automatic one-game suspension, the NHL has decided that Malkin will be on the ice when the serious returns to Pittsburgh. Think the league wants to avoid a sweep?
OK, remember how Texas beat Boston College 3-2 in 25 innings Friday night-slash-Saturday morning in an NCAA baseball tournament game? Well, their following opponents were Army, and while the game ended in nine innings, it was just as dramatic as the BC contest. The Longhorns scored eight times in the ninth inning for a 14-10 win, including a walk-off grand slam by Preston Clark. Check out the highlights here:
With the win, Texas advances to the Super Regional, where they will play TCU in a Best-of-Three series that will likely come down to the final pitch of Game Three. Seriously, guys, it’s OK just to win a 5-1 snoozer every once in a while. (Or if you are Florida State, a 37-6 snoozer.)
Finally, congratulations for Jamie Moyer for getting his 250th career win yesterday, a 4-2 Phillies win over the Nationals. (And really, shouldn’t that could as half a win?) The achievements of the 46-year-old goes to show that not being able to throw hard enough to break glass isn’t a prerequisite to being successful. And it also shows that if you are a lefty with a durable arm, even a 4.23 career ERA can’t keep you from reaching some big milestones.
Give Brad Childress credit for having a good sense of humor: he busted out a nifty fake wig atop his notorious chrome dome at practice, and then said that he would only wear it during the season “if it had ‘Reebok’ across the top of it.” Here’s the photographic evidence (and it still looked better than Jared Allen’s hair):
BLACK SPORTS ONLINE wants LeBron James to “man up” and shake hands after getting knocked out of the playoffs, or come to the post-game press conference. Two things he didn’t do last night after the Magic bounced the Cavs.
I’m making a list of pitchers who don’t want to go to the Chicago White Sox, and apparently every No. 1 is on the list. First it was Jake Peavy of the Padres rejecting a deal, and now the HOUSTON CHRONICLE is saying that Roy Oswalt of the Astros will exercise his veto rights to nix any deal. But I’m sure Barry Zito is still available.
Here’s one way to break out of 0-for-18 slump: Ali Gardiner ripped a grand slam with two outs in the bottom of the last inning to lift the Florida over Alabama 6-5 to send the Gators to the College Softball World Series championship game.
How not to win your first PGA Tour tournament: miss putts inside 10 feet on the final hole of regulation and the first hole of a playoff, and then have your approach on the second playoff hole ricochet off the pin and roll back more than 20 feet from the hole. Steve Stricker was the beneficiary of Tim Clark’s bad luck/meltdown, picking up the Crowne Plaza Invitational.
The Orlando Magic thought they had lost All-Star point guard Jameer Nelson to injury for the season back in February, but now the ORLANDO SENTINEL is saying that the rehab for his shoulder injury is “dramatically” ahead of schedule and he might be available for the NBA Finals.
Arkansas DT Lavunce Askew was arrested on Saturday after allegedly stealing a laptop from an apartment. His teammate Matt Marshall also stole an iPod Touch, but was not charged after he returned it to the doorstep and helped police track down Askew. See, Marshall might be a thief and a stool pigeon, but his heart is in the right place.
World champion hurdler Jana Rawlinson was forced to confirm an embarrassing, poorly-kept secret circulating around the track world for months. Not that she’s using PEDs, but that she had breast augmentation. You would think if there’s one sport where being busty is a disadvantage, it’s hurdling. Check out some Russ Meyer-approved before and after action:
It’s natural for guys to sometimes feel embarrassed about their father’s behavior. But in Jim DeShaies’ case, he really should be proud of dear ol’ Dad - not many old dudes can sneak in a kiss with a sideline reporter.
AWFUL ANNOUNCING pitches up the story from Tuesday afternoon’s spring training game between the Houston Astros & New York Mets. DeShaies was doing color commentary for the Astros when an FSN reporter chatted it up with Jim’s dad, Herb. But when the interview was done, Herbie wasn’t going to be satisfied with just a cordial goodbye.
Video of Herb getting hot ‘n’ heavy after the jump.
