Cristiano Ronaldo is a very rich man. He’s the highest-paid soccer player in the land, as a matter of fact, so you can just imagine what kind of women he’s able to attract.

(Yes, please.)

One of them is Nereida Gallardo, pictured above in her eternal struggle to find a shirt that’ll fit. But the two were seen fighting inside a nightclub recently, and the split was on. Unfortunately for Ronaldo, Gallardo has no qualms with revealing every single unflattering detail about their sex life on Spanish television. Oh, it got bad.

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As Scott mentioned in this morning’s Speed Read, Katie Price has her sights set on shagging some superstar soccer players. The buxom British model - who also goes by the name Jordan - is specifically looking in the direction of Frank Lampard.

The duo reportedly used to be pretty close friends - or as one source put it, “they went out a few times and had a snog.” But that was before Price had met Peter Andre, who she eventually married. However, Katie recently said adios to Andre, so she’s back on the prowl. And it’s not just Lampard that’s on her list.

(More pics of Ms. Price after the jump.)

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In the aftermath of the $132 million transfer of Cristiano Ronaldo to Real Madrid, Manchester United fans might be worried that their beloved soccer team might now become a lesser presence in the celebrity gossip and society pages. Who would fill the void left behind with the loss of the Paris Hilton-snogging fashion victim? Who would provide ManU fans with naked girlfriend party pics? Who will challenge Miss Albania now?

Rest easy, Red Devils. The world’s most famous pro soccer team knows better than to get rid of its biggest stars without a replacement plan, and young striker Federico Macheda  is poised to be the next breakout superstar. More importantly, however, he’s landed a fresh-faced young lass to serve as his representative in the gossip pages of Britian’s tabloids. Gentlemen (and,uh, ladies if you’re so inclined), meet soccer’s newest WAG, Sophie Houghton.

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Continuing on a thought from Cameron’s Speed Read this morning, Alex Gerrard (nee Curran) must wonder if the sacrifices she’s made to keep up her WAG-tastic profile (doing her own nails, less visits to the hair salon, and other drastic measures) are really worth it.

(”A hot chick! Run away! Run away! Oh … sorry, dear!”)

For you see, her hubby, Liverpool soccer star Steve Gerrard, admits that when he was on the prowl for female companionship, he wasn’t always trying to cozy up to the most gorgeous girls. In fact, there was only one philosophy he followed when trying to bag some birds: Go Ugly!

(With more pics of the very un-ugly Alex after the jump.)

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Remember Nives Drpic? You might also recognize her under her other name Nives Celsius. She’s the wife of Croatian soccer star Dino Drpic. Oh, and she also admitted to having sex with her hubby right on the midfield pitch of a soccer stadium.

Well, lucky for us, Nives is back in the news. She’s appearing in a new photo spread for this month’s issue of FHM Magazine. Unfortunately, it’s only for the mag’s German edition. Fortunately, we’ve acquired some of the hot shots. Be prepared for Ms. Celsius to get your temperature rising all over again after the jump.

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Teams named the Spurs seem to do pretty well in the WAG department. San Antonio Spur Tony Parker has a pretty sweet spouse in Desperate Housewife Eva Longoria. And Jermain Defoe of English soccer club Tottenham Hotspur (a.k.a “The Spurs”) was doing quite well with a lovely lass by the name of Chantelle Houghton.

(What a lovely pair)

Jermain has been on the shelf with a broken foot, and as evidenced by the photo above, Chantelle has been by her bloke’s side through this trying time, helping with his rehab. (I’m not aware of any specific medical training Ms. Houghton has - but how can you not feel great when you’re around that sexy specimen?)

Sadly, Defoe is going to have to find a new foxy Florence Nightingale, as Chantelle has shuttered their relationship. And it’s apparently because of Jermain’s past of juggling girlfriends. (Photos of the parties responsible after the jump.)

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Earlier this week, we took some time to briefly blurb about Isabel Figueira, Portuguese model-slash-actress and one-time wife of soccer player Cesar Peixoto. However, achieving fame & fortune in Portugal doesn’t necessarily equate to stardom in the States.

(Lisbon’s leading lovely lady)

But we hope to change that. How? By arousing the American masses with a provocative pictorial featuring Figueira’s fantastic figure, that’s how!

But first, a bit of background: In the grand tradition of other soccer WAGs past & present, Isabel has posed for magazine shoots, hosted TV shows, appeared in company adverts, and even has her own IMDB page. As for her marriage, the lads at THE SPOILER sum up the results of the blessed union between Isabel & Cesar:

The couple were married in 2005, proud parents in 2006 and divorced in 2007.

That was nice & quick - seems like the perfect model of European efficiency. (Here that, guys? She’s available!) But enough gabbing. Let’s get to the goods! (After the jump, of course.)

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There are many ways to score on the soccer field - long kick, corner kick, header, bicycle kick, and so on. However, Croatian player Dino Drpic has them all topped with a scoring feat that can’t be beat - by having sex at midfield with his Playboy model wife.

The AUSTRIAN TIMES passes along news that Dino’s wife Nives (who also goes by the temperature-rising Nives Celsius) spilled the beans about the couple’s carnal activity that took place inside the center circle of Zagreb’s Maksimir Stadium. She was recently on a Serbian TV chat show to promote her new book “The Naked Truth”, when she mentioned her & her hubby’s late-night tryst on the pitch, complete with appropriate mood lighting:

“Dino had arranged that people should turn on the stadium lights for us and he finally fulfilled his dream of having sex in the middle of a football pitch. It was very naughty.”

So naughty that Dino’s club Dinamo Zagreb is planning to ship the dirty defender to Britain, after placing him on the team’s transfer list.

Is getting naughty with Nives in the middle of a public stadium worth the risk of deportation? Judge for yourself with pics of Mrs. Drpic after the jump.

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As Cameron mentioned in this morning’s Speed Read, Giulia Siegel has generously graced the pages of this month’s German edition of PLAYBOY. As our mates over at THE SPOILER inform us, Giulia spends her time as a TV host, music DJ and celebrity reality show contestant.

(Wunderbar!)

So how does Frau Siegel fit in with the sports world? Back in 2007, she allegedly had an affair with Oliver Kahn, long-time Bayern Munich & German national team goalkeeper. This would have been scandalous enough, but Ollie was already shacking up with a 21-year-old barmaid - and this after leaving his wife who was eight months pregnant.

But enough sordid stories. Time for some sordid pictures! (After the jump)

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See that fine-looking young lady down there? Of course you do, you stared at her for a good 20 seconds before you even started reading the article. Anyway, that lovely young lass is Danielle Lloyd, she’s a 24-year-old ex-Miss England, now she’s (obviously) a model, and she’s had more soccer balls fly at her than Kasey Keller.

(How do you spell sport relief? D-A-N-I-E-L-L-E.)

Lloyd’s latest conquest is Liverpool’s Ryan Babel, a 21-year-old striker. Yeah, I haven’t heard of him either. He would be the sixth soccer player Dani has been linked with, which NEWS OF THE WORLD helpfully details for us after the break:

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