Uchitel Dumps Tiger For Poor Man’s Joe Francis

The NATIONAL ENQUIRER reports that Rachel Uchitel has moved on from Tiger Woods to a Christopher Harding of West Palm Beach:

Rachel Uchitel Christopher Harding

Harding is described as “Hooters heir” and the son of a “Hooters franchisee kingpin.”

Was there ever a better match between two people. She spends her time inflating her lips, and he spends his time inflating breasts.

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Photos Of Tiger Woods And Hooters Girls Surface

If you’ve ever been to Hooters, you’ve seen the crappy photos of celebrities surrounded by Hooters Girls occupying the walls of every restaurant. Up to this point I’ve been dismayed that no such photos of Tiger Woods and Hooters Girls have surfaced - until now.

Tiger Woods Photo With Hooters Girls

Aaron Hotfelder at Gadling.com snapped photos today of these delightful images posted on the walls of the Hooters in Aruba.

Tiger Woods Photo With Hooters Girls

Every Hooters has mostly the identical round of awkward, non-sequitur shots, with these pics appearing to be of Woods at the Palm Beach Hooters. (You can probably find them at your local Hooters.) Read more…

Sprightly Drum Major Leads Stanford Over Oregon

Stanford drum major

Not only did Jim Harbaugh’s squad give everything they had in a 51-42 upset of Oregon, but the Stanford Band’s buxom, fake lady drum major gave his full measure of devotion as well. Was Hooters missing a waitress on Saturday afternoon, or was Heaven missing a rather hairy angel? Read more…

Phillies Pulling Out The Big Guns For Game Four

As you would expect, the baseball playoffs bring out the best Philadelphia has to offer:

Philadelphia Phillies pregame The Hooters and Micky Morandini

They’ve got that reversed, Hooters have the first pitch …

SbB Girl Hillary

… and these guys have the anthem:

Mickey Morandini Backwoods Payback

Wings A More Valuable Commodity Than Breasts?

Okay, this piece is technically not about sports, but name one food more ubiquitous to sports fans than hot wings. It’s not that people eat only hot wings during games, but hot wings only get eaten during games. They’re not exactly showing up at bistros or baby showers, you know.

Hooters Girl Hot Wings
(I wrote hot wings and breasts and this picture just automatically came up. Hope it’s okay.)

It’s getting to the point that the skinless, boneless chicken breasts, long-revered (and rightly so) as the best part of the chicken, are taking a backseat to the wing. Those cheap wing nights at your favorite bar? Oh, they’re long gone. And if you’re not careful, you’ll have to eat the “boneless” wing instead. Quelle horreur.

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John Daly Passes Out At Hooters, Ends Up Jailed

WFMY-TV in Winston-Salem, NC. and TMZ update us on the the very latest John Daly out-of-control drinking escapade:

John Daly’s battle with alcohol abuse continued Sunday morning at a Hooters Restaurant on Hanes Square Circle in Winston-Salem. Someone at the restaurant called EMS after he lost consciousness. Paramedics say Daly refused to go to the hospital so they called for help from police.”

John Daly

(Time to update that celebrity mughshot page!)

Officers described Daly as extremely intoxicated and uncooperative. He repeated he didn’t want to go to the hospital. Hooters employees asked Daly to leave. But Daly did not have transportation. Officers say he was part of a group traveling on a tour bus. The group left Daly behind at the Hooters because they didn’t want him to continue traveling with them.

So where did John have left to go? Jail, that’s where! Read more…

Padres Rookies Turned Into Horrid Hooters Girls

• In the most horrible of MLB hazings, the Padres’ rookies get dressed up as Hooters Girls. Isn’t playing for San Diego embarrassing enough already?

Padres rookies dressed as Hooters girls

*Editor’s note: We’re sorry for sharing such a terrifying image. Please enjoy the following photo as a token of our sincerest apologies:

SbB Girls Vanessa Hillary Kim  at Las Vegas Hooters

(SbB Girls Vanessa, Hillary and Kim make it all better)

Ron Artest says Josh Howard’s stunning comments about the Star-Spangled Banner are an indictment of America’s education system.

• What do you do when your team sucks & no one’s coming out to the games? If you’re the Washington Nationals, you cut payroll by $20 million.

• Staying in the District, Agent Zero will be out of action until December, as Gilbert Arenas needs knee surgery again.

• No Tiger at the Ryder? No problem, as long as Boo Weekley is around to cause chuckles around the course.

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Because Playing For The Padres Isn’t Bad Enough

It’s been a long season for the San Diego Padres, and with only 9 games left on the schedule, I’m sure the players are pretty happy they’ll soon be able to put 2008 behind them. Though, considering the amount of rookie call-ups the Padres have made in September, there are probably quite a few guys on the team that wish the season could go on a few weeks longer, because it might be the last time they ever see the big leagues.

(This is why Hooters never succeeded in San Francisco)

Well, thankfully there are always veterans around to make those rookies wish they never left Triple-A.

Yes, those are Padres rookies dressed as Hooters Girls. Don’t they look amazing?

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Ladies and Gentlemen, Pacman Is Officially Back!

Mothers, lock up your stripper-daughters. Adam “Honestly, Stop Calling Me Pacman” Jones is back on the loose!

Pacman Jones

ESPN reports that NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has told the Cowboys that Mr. Jones will be eligible to make it rain with punishing tackles during the regular season-opener against the Browns on September 7th. This gives Cleveland police a mere 10 days to prepare themselves for the onslaught of terror and violence that comes with any Pacman Adam Jones field trip.

To give the police a sense of what to expect, let’s take a trip down memory lane and examine Pacman’s Adam’s lengthy rap sheet:

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Blog It: Gary Coleman Offered Baseball Contract

• What’choo talkin’ about? HOME RUN DERBY strokes us news that a minor league team is willing to offer Gary Coleman a contract.

Gary Coleman Madison Mallards

• The MINNEAPOLIS STAR-TRIBUNE rolls along happy news that police have recovered a sick kid’s wheelchair that was stolen during a Twins game.

• YOU BEEN BLINDED takes a trip with Cincinnati Bengal Kenny Irons to the local Hooters.

• MACHOCHIP speaks with Juan Carlos Lozano & Raul Saenz, the duo behind the Brewers’ Spanish-language radio broadcasts.

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