When gambling at Las Vegas casinos, I prefer the Homer Simpson method: HOMER (on phone): “Hello, Vegas? Give me a hundred dollars on red. (Pause). D’OH! I’ll write you a check.” Former NBA star and man-about-town Antoine Walker has a slightly different approach — he shows up at the casino in person, and also pays for markers with checks - but the comical rubber kind.
Casinos: NOT AMUSED.
We’re past the days when Robert DeNiro hauled you into the basement of the Sands and had security break your shuffling hand with a mallet. But the Clark County District Attorney’s office can be nearly as brutal, and has charged Walker — who won an NBA championship with the Miami Heat in 2006 — with three felony counts for passing $1 million in bad checks at Caesars Palace, Planet Hollywood and Red Rock Resort.
It’s the day after Thanksgiving, so you’re probably still fighting through the final hours of that tryptophan hangover as we speak. Well, we’re here to tell you that it could be worse … you could have been trying to finish off a $50,000 wedding cake, as well as one shaped like a life-size Homer Simpson.
That’s the predicament guests of professional golfer Billy Mayfair and his new wife, former Arizona State golfer Tami Proctor, are looking at today. According to THE ARIZONA REPUBLIC, the $50,000 concoction was a 10-tier cake with British Royal Icing so large it took two months to bake. For his part, Homer was a 100-pound chocolate cake of more than 40 layers. That’s right, 100 pounds, 40 layers. Of Homer Simpson. (Image after the jump)
Mike Williams is the definition of an NFL bust. And by “bust,” I mean “cleavage caused by giant, heaving man boobs.” And I also mean “terrible waste of talent,” because he quickly went from being an unquestionably gifted USC receiver & Top 10 draft pick, to a fat, out-of-shape NFL train wreck, tipping the scales for the Raiders last season at a hefty 280 lbs. Basically, he’s the guy that has to take a break every two or three plays during your annual Turkey Bowl family football game at the park, or else his heart will explode.
Now it appears that Williams is likely to be out of the NFL at age 24, after he was cut on Thursday by the Tennessee Titans. To give Mike credit, he had lost 30 pounds in the off-season. But according to THE TENNESSEAN, there were still concerns about his conditioning and weight, as well as his shaky hands. Surprisingly, being a painfully-slow 240 lb. wide receiver with bad hands endears you to coaches about as much as being a painfully-slow 270 lb. wide receiver does.
• Whoo-hoo! HOME RUN DERBY has video & pictures of Homer Simpson throwing out the first pitch at a recent Dodgers game.
• PUCK DADDY skates along word of a new musical about hockey. If it can be done with poker, why not?
• DEADSPIN doodles up some ideas from the British public on creating London’s official Olympic mascot.
• WITH LEATHER knows how hard it is to be an Italian soccer player in the offseason, surrounded by a bevy of babes in bikinis.
Tags: 20 Loss Pitchers
, Brett Myers
, Derrick Rose
, Hockey Musical
, Homer Simpson
, Italian Soccer Players
, London Olympics
, Los Angeles Dodgers
, Philadelphia Phillies
, Tony Bennett
, Washington State Cougars
TIME magazine gives a toast to a new study that may be too good to be true - drinking can actually be good for you.
Researchers in Denmark have determined that a glass of alcohol a day can have the same beneficial effect on the heart as moderate exercise. Both activities create HDL, also known as ‘good cholesterol’, that helps clean out fatty deposits in the blood stream.
During a 20-year study of over 12,000 subjects, researchers found that moderate drinkers and non-drinking exercisers have a 30% less chance of heart disease than those that don’t drink or work out. And those that pound a brew after pumping some iron have a 50% less chance of the disease.
But don’t go hitting the bars for your health just yet.