Speed Read: Bills Blunder, Let Brady Off The Hook

You know the Bills have had a rough history when they can completely blow a game like they did last night, and you can think of like five worse that have happened to them over the years off the top of your head. Buffalo used a poorly-timed fumble on a kickoff that never should’ve been returned to come from ahead and lose to the Patriots, 25-24, in both teams’ season opener.

Tom Brady and Jim Kelly

(These guys have three Super Bowl rings between them)

It wasn’t a completely devastating loss for the Bills (they were, of course, supposed to lose). It’s not like Vincent Gallo’s going to make a movie about it or anything. But at this rate, the people of upstate New York are just going to start hoping the team moves to Toronto so they don’t have to be so miserable all the time. They also should be happy to know that Brady told his New England teammates that he “knew” the Bills would let them back into the game late.

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No SB Parade For Steelers; Teacher Shoots Baller

• Win or lose, Pittsburgh will not be throwing a parade for the Steelers.

Fat Steelers girl

(Sorry, ladies - you’ll have to find another reason to stand on a street corner)

• A North Carolina teacher who kidnapped & shot a women’s college basketball player receives the ultimate punishment - suspension with pay.

• Hey, Barry Bonds - looks like urine real trouble now!

• Why not buy a PSL for a football team that doesn’t exist?

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‘Pansification’ Comment By Milbury Outrages Gays

For non-hockey fans, one of the biggest complaints about the sport has always been the propensity for fights to break out during the middle of a game. They say that fighting has no place in sports, and then no doubt turn around and drop $50 to watch UFC on pay-per-view. Let’s just face the facts here, people: humans like violence. We always have, and we always will. So let’s just get on with our lives, and if you don’t like fighting in hockey, then go watch water polo or something else.

I’m not the only one who feels this way, either. On Hockey Night in Canada — which is ironically televised in Canada — commentators Mike Milbury and Don Cherry have often shared their opinions on fighting as well. Milbury is fond of referring to the movement to ban fighting as the “pansification” of the sport. Now, when first hearing the term “pansification,” it seems rather harmless to me, but I’m not homo-sexual, because if I was, I’d apparently be outraged.

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CBC Broadcasts Punjabi ‘Hockey Night in Canada’

The CBC pulled out all the stops for the Toronto-Vancouver matchup Saturday night on “Hockey Night in Canada”, including enlisting a Punjabi broadcast team for the growing community in both cities to be played online and on certain stations.  Just when you thought there were no new markets for the national sport in Canada, eh?

Ice hockey in India

Not everything translates successfully, though:

“Ice in Punjabi is `barf,’” said Parminder Singh. “What are we supposed to say: `He barfed the puck?’

If it’s Toronto, yes.  Our grandmother could handle the puck better with a branch from a balsa tree.
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