You Know What The Premier League Needs? AIDS

Oh, the life of a soccer player in England’s Premier League. The country’s heroes and their unreasonably hot WAGs dominate the tabloid headlines, and usually that’s a good thing. Fame, money, sex, sport. What can go wrong?

Magic Johnson's HIV-Eating Grin
(Not the groupie in question. Repeat: NOT the groupie.)

Well, it turns out just about everything can go wrong. A notorious soccer groupie, one who had bedded at least six soccer players on three different teams, just tested positive for HIV. And here you are mad that it burns when you urinate. Herpes? Feh! At least you’re going to live.

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Stunning AIDS Lawsuit From Robbie Alomar’s Ex

Hey Dwyane WadeRoberto Alomar will see your non-fatal STD and raise you HIV. That’s according to a lawsuit filed by his ex-girlfriend Ilya Dall, charging Alomar with insisting on unprotected sex even though he knew he had full-blown AIDS. And suddenly, steroids don’t seem like the end of the world anymore, do they?

Sandy Alomar

(Kinda puts this in a whole new light, huh?)

Alomar, one of the best second basemen in history, retired in 2005 after rapidly breaking down with a myriad of health issues, but there hadn’t even been the hint of a rumor of anything of this magnitude. We should take this all with a huge grain of salt and an HIV cocktail, because Dall only brought the suit after Alomar broke up with her in October, two-and-a-half years after she claims she first learned he was sick. But there’s some pretty explosive stuff in here.

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Tommy Morrison to Fight on Internet Pay Per View

It’s been a few years since former two-time heavyweight champion Tommy Morrison has been in the headlines, and in those few opportunities when anybody is talking about him these days, his boxing career is seldom the subject. That’s bound to happen when a positive test for HIV ends your boxing career as it did for Morrison back in 1996, but there’s been plenty of controversy about that blood test ever since.

Tommy Morrison

Morrison has fought since that positive test a few times, and also claims that he never had HIV and that the test results were a “false-positive.” Of course, there was also an article in the ARIZONA REPUBLIC - I scoured the internets for the original story, but it’s no longer on the paper’s website - back in June 2007 in which Morrison’s former agent, Randy Lang, said that not only was Morrison HIV-positive, but that he also had Hepatitis C. So really, it seems that nobody knows for sure whether Morrison is sick or not, but we do know he’ll be fighting later this month, though it won’t be in a boxing match.

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