MMA: No Go In Vancouver, Yes Go In Texas HS?

If you think of two cities in North America, it’s hard to imagine two more dissimilar locales than Vancouver and Dallas. Sure, there are more geographically removed examples, but Wasilla and Miami aren’t so dissimilar; they both love the living hell out of a particular drug (meth and cocaine, respectively). But while Vancouver is like Valhalla for potheads, hippies, and the poor of hygiene (redundant, we know), Dallas is Texas to the core, where they’d look at Hank Hill as “dangerously liberal.”

Massive blood MMA
(Just think: in Dallas, this could be your son!)

That disparity in attitudes is probably best demonstrated by each’s approach to MMA, which is an acronym that somehow stands for “legally beating the living Christ out of someone for fun and money.” In Vancouver, they held five events and said “no no, that’ll be all, hockey back bacon Rick Moranis snow.” In Dallas, however, not only is it sanctioned, but it’s apparently an effective disciplinary tool for administrators of local high schools. Oh, this can’t end well. Read more…