Man Vs. Food: Herschel Walker’s MMA Beatdown

With his victory last night over the dude who parked your car at the Weezer show last Tuesday, I’d say Herschel Walker is due at least one endorsement.

Herschel Walker pummels Greg Nagy In MMA Debut

(Herschel usually eschews the trans-fat)

Six-figured deal with Lifelock.

Best MMA Fight? Herschel Walker vs. Dana White

You might recall last week, when Herschel Walker was signed to Strikeforce among giggles and wide-eyed stares. Yes, he’s one of the most athletic men of his generation and he’s well-trained in martial arts… but he’s 47 and hasn’t even played in the NFL since 1997, nor is he trained in MMA yet. The three words running through most peoples’ minds were “what,” “the,” and “hell,” usually in that order.

Herschel Walker Vikings
(…Sort Of!)

As you might imagine, Dana White caught wind of the news, and when pressed for comment, laughed for 45 minutes straight. Okay, that’s not true, but White ridiculed the signing and called it “dumb competition.” Typical White, really. Walker, upon catching wind of the news, decided the right thing to do was challenge White to a duel of fisticuffs. This should end well.

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Romo, Jones Get Picky In Cowboys Stadium Debut

• The Dallas Cowboys’ brand-new billion-dollar stadium was christened with a plethora of picks, courtesy of Tony Romo & Jerry Jones.

Tony Romo Jerry Jones nose pick

• Seems that the only thing that could possibly slow down the Florida Gators is the dreaded swine flu.

• Sadly, four Gator fans were killed in a small plane crash after returning from Saturday’s game in Gainesville.

• And now some fun video of a Bayou Bengals fan bombed out of his mind.

• An Arkansas high school football coach gets a kick out of never having his team punt.

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Herschel Walker To MMA: NOT PUBLICITY STUNT

Remember that it was just a month ago or so that Strikeforce stunned the world of MMA by landing the services of Fedor Emelianenko, whose name I almost spelled correctly on my first try. Fedor is generally considered the last, best contender to Brock Lesnar, who’s currently chewing up UFC and spitting it out. That Emelianenko opted for Strikeforce and the EA MMA game instead was, to say the least, a shock.

Herschel Walker Biking
(He’d rather have been beating these people’s faces in. Not because he likes fighting, but as punishment for the outfits involved.)

So with that head of steam and UFC still reeling from Rampage Jackson eschewing a fight for a role in the A*Team movie, Strikeforce is set for the ol’ kill shot here, right? Like, here’s where they sign another big name and really establish themselves as equals, right? So… how about a retired football player in his late 40s, a full 12 years after his last game in the NFL? Wait, wait, there’s more. Let’s give him a history of mental illness. Perfect! Yes, Strikeforce have signed the Herschel Walker… and they’re so serious about this.

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Would You Like To Taste Herschel Walker’s Meat?

Last time we checked in on former NFL running back Herschel Walker, he was shocking the sports world with his admission that he suffered from multiple personality disorder during his playing career. Nobody seemed to remember him being crazy, just 20 different kinds of badass. For him to conceal his struggles and conquer them without tipping his hand, we thought, was a ballsy accomplishment from a guy with no shortage of balls.

Herschel Walker and a chicken.

Whatever Walker wants to call himself - Renaissance man, ex-NFLer, Sybil, there’s no denying he’s a complex man with many facets. Turns out that one of those facets just happens to be “meat processing magnate.” Who knew? A sampling of Walker’s meat, after the jump.

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Brog: Will Chargers’ Chambers’ Sick Vid Go Viral?

Jorge Sedano of Miami’s 790 The Ticket has your catch o’ the day:

Chris Chambers Viral NFL Commercial With Crazy Catches

Chargers wideout Chris Chambers making some sick grabs that may or may not have been digitally enhanced. I actually think not.

Went to the Maddenpalooza thing last night at the Rose Bowl. As I sit here today, I’m still wondering why the event was staged by now-faltering EA Sports. Was the evening designed to be a media event? Was it to move product? Was it to create a lively, fun environment for attendees?

From what I observed, that would be no, no and no.

Brooks Maddenpalooza

(Need to lose some lbs., so I don’t cover up that one guy - see armpit)

I went early evening, and there was less than a thousand people milling around Slick Rick’s spacious abode at that time. Musicial artists Busta Rhymes and Good Charlotte played to about 200 people on one side of the stadium turf, while a tent full of Madden-loaded plasmas sat empty beyond the opposite endzone.

Maddenpalooza NO PHOTOS!

(How to create a fun, fan-friendly environment!)

But of course, as someone who occasionally attends UCLA football games which don’t include a certain Cardinal & Gold opponent, that hollow, placid environment is nothing new for the Rose Bowl. So I felt right at home.

Busta Rhymes Maddenpalooza

(Busta Rhymes is in there …. somewhere)

Here on the westside of Los Angeles, I pass by EA Sports’ gleaming, half-empty HQs all the time. You wonder if last night’s flaccid activities are symptomatic of larger problems inside the company. Based on the sagging pre-sale of the company’s flagship product, perhaps they are.

Maddenpalooza Guerilla Marketing The Blitz

(Guerrilla Marketing at Maddenpalooza?)

More coverage of the event from Mike Tunison at DEADSPIN, who actually had the audacity to *shudder* take a photo of Warren Sapp.

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Jared Allen To Vikings; Herschel Trade Part Deux?

Jared Allen is copping out of Kansas City and making Minnesota his new home, as Jay Glazer of FOX SPORTS reports that the defensive end has signed with the Vikings.

Jared Allen Chiefs Vikings

(“Which way to the Metrodome?”)

The Pro Bowler agreed to a 6-year deal worth about $74 million, making him the highest paid defensive player in NFL history (until the next league signing). Of his new monetary earnings, $31,000,069 is guaranteed. Why the extra $69? That’s Jared’s uniform number. How cute.

With the deal, the Vikes have shored up some much needed defensive help. However, looking at the trade specifics, it could be the Herschel Walker disaster all over again.

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Blog-O-Rama: Bengals Fan’s Bitchin’ License Plate

• DEUCE OF DAVENPORT discovers one Bengals fan taking creative license with his plates.

Bengals license plate

• WITH LEATHER ropes in the goings on at the Houston Texans cheerleader tryouts.

• MJD of YAHOO’S SHUTDOWN CORNER tunes in tonight, as Herschel Walker talks to “Nightline” about his personality disorder.

• DEADSPIN needs their heads examined, as Mike Tyson is offering psychological help to scatterbrained soccer players.

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Book: Herschel Walker Has Multiple Personalities

Chip Towers of the ATLANTA JOURNAL-CONSTITUTION reports that “University of Georgia football legend Herschel Walker will detail in an upcoming book that he has a multiple personality disorder.”

Herschel Walker Biking

Simon & Schuster, the book’s publisher, notes “Breaking Free” details Walker’s life dealing with the disorder.

There’s been no comment from Walker on the claim, but friends (among them former Georgia coach Vince Dooley) contacted by the AJC were in complete shock that he had suffered from the affliction for all these years.

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