Tebow Wants To Stay At UF, Pending Jesus’s OK

Say what you will about Tim Tebow, but at least the man has goals. For example, he wants to become the first ever three-time Heisman winner to never start a game in the NFL.

Tim Tebow

The Florida quarterback told the FLORIDA TIMES-UNION that, win or lose in the BCS Championship Game, he’s leaning toward returning for his senior season at Gainesville.

One would think that it has something to do with there being a lot more bikini-clad hotties in Florida than there would be in QB-hungry, first-pick-bound Detroit. But benchwarming for the Lions pays a heck of a lot better, money which could be used for his father’s missionary work in the Philippines. What’s a QB to do? Wishy-washy words from a jorts-wearing Tebow, after the jump.

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Boot on Beanie Means No Battle With Bobcats

Ohio State officially announced that star tailback Chris ‘Beanie’ Wells is out against Ohio University this Saturday, leaving Buckeye fans crying. The program is horribly vague, at best, about his injury. ESPN’s Joe Schad on a broadcast yesterday described the complicated foot problem thusly: “a soft tissue injury to the big toe on his right foot.” Got all that?

The odd injury most certainly has Ohio State fans dashing to Wikipedia or copies of Gray’s Anatomy to figure the whole thing out. On the bright side there does seem to be optimism that he’ll play against USC the following Saturday. Regardless Ohio State has three other backs on its roster that it likes who in theory will be adequate substitutes against the overmatched Bobcats. Read more…

Blog-A-Roni: Rangers Turn Shea Into Slip ‘N Slide

• 100% INJURY RATE washes up video of the Texas Rangers turning Shea Stadium into their own personal Slip ‘N Slide.


• BOBCATS PLANET punches up a clip of a Celtics fan getting a warm reception by the Staples Center crowd.

• It pains LOHUD YANKEES BLOG to reveal that the Yankees have sprained their Wang.

• MIZZOURAH (by way of EDSBS) takes a bite out of comparing Big 12 football squads to potato chips & similar salty snacks.

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The Man Who Will Cripple Women’s College Hoops

Barack Obama poses with Earl Campbell’s tobacco-stained Heisman Trophy in Austin yesterday:

Barack Obama Poses With Heisman Trophy

We’re a little dubious about his run to secure the Democrat Party’s presidential nomination. The result would likely mean a widespread slowdown in the manufacturing of pantsuits. Which in turn could cripple women’s college basketball as we know it.

On second thought, Go You B.H.O.!

Bush Book Touted To Bring Down USC Program

Review copies of a new book about Reggie Bush’s behind-the-scenes business dealings at USC have been sent to the media.

The jacket of Don Yaeger’s “Tarnished Heisman”: “With the explosive information revealed in Tarnished Heisman, Bush stands to be ruled ineligible — a decision that could cost his alma mater the 2004 national championship title, force the forfeit of every game Bush played in after losing his eligibility, and potentially strip Reggie Bush of the shining prize of his college career: the Heisman Trophy.

The first reax of Adam Rose of the LOS ANGELES TIMES, who covers USC for the outlet: “It doesn’t look good.”

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Tebow McFadden Daniel Brennan All Named Heisman Trophy Finalists

NUMB AS A STATUE - HEISMAN FINALISTS NOW ANNOUNCED The official Heisman finalist list is out. Your choices are:

• Florida QB Tim Tebow:

Tim Tebow Kiss

• Arkansas RB Darren McFadden:

Darren McFadden Fred Flintstone

• Missouri QB Chase Daniel:

Chase Daniel

• Hawaii QB Colt Brennan:

Colt Brennan

If this quartet doesn’t quite do it for you, have fun haggling over HEISMAN PUNDIT’s picks for the 2008 race.