Chicago Women’s Soccer Squad To Make A Stink?

That is, they might stink. The new Chicago franchise of the WPS (Women’s Professional Soccer) doesn’t have any players yet, so it’s hard to tell if their talent deserves the pejorative term. In fact, the team doesn’t even have a name and there’s the rub.

Heather Mitts

(You tell Heather Mitts that she stinks.)

RED CARD noted the promotion’s announcement a week ago, but voting finally opened this week for the Chicago team’s contest encouraging the wise and thoughtful denizens of the Internet to vote on the name for the new team from a list provided by the team. One of the suggestions is the Chicago Stinking Onions. Naturally.

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ESPN Reporter Rob Stone Keeps Heather Mitts And Julie Foudy Company

• AWFUL ANNOUNCING knows Rob Stone would’ve preferred to spend his Friday in Troy, Alabama - but someone needed to keep Heather Mitts and Julie Foudy company:

Rob Stone Heather Mitts Julie Foudy ESPN

• David Letterman pauses with this reflection about the late Yankees broadcaster: “During Phil Rizzuto’s funeral, the hearse left early to beat traffic.”• THE ANGRY T airs out their tuxedo, as they dole out their Sports Emmys.

• BIG TEN TAILGATE can’t wait to get going, as they bid on a urinal fresh from Tiger Stadium:

Tiger Stadium Urinal

• VEGAS WATCH crunches the numbers to figure out who’s got the best bet to hit .400.

• STUPID SIDELINE REPORTERS gaze into their crystal football, as they compile college headlines from the year 2020.

Heather Mitts New Boyfriend Is James Blake But Still Copping Feeley

MITTS NETS JAMES BLAKE BUT STILL COPPING A FEELEY? Recently we reported on U.S. soccer player Heather Mitts trying keep the flame alive with Eagles benchwarmer A.J. Feeley - when it was obvious Feeley wasn’t much interested in maintaining the relationship.

Heather Mitts


Well it appears that Mitts has moved on, sort of. Last week she attended the ATP men’s tennis event in Cincinnati, and ESPN reported during a match broadcast featuring James Blake that she is now dating him. Blake eventually was emasculated by Roger Federer in the finals.

Heather Mitts


Now for the predictable twist. While she lists herself as single on her public myspace page (yes, it’s real), the PHILADELPHIA DAILY NEWS also reports today that “Feeley and Heather Mitts were keeping company Saturday afternoon over coffee at Starbucks (20th & Callowhill).

Heather Mitts


Nice to hear Mitts scored on a lovely one-timer with her set piece in Philly. And we’re surprised the main media hasn’t queried Blake on being with Mitts yet - since it sounds as if he’s between serves at the moment.

AJ Feeley Plays Field On Heather Mitts But Shes Ready To Take Him Back

DID A.J. CHEAT ON OUR HEATHER AND GET AWAY WITH IT? Soccer hottie Heather Mitts is a little confused about her relationship with Eagles clipboard surfer (QB) A.J. Feeley.

Heather Mitts


The PHILADELPHIA DAILY NEWS reports that Mitts said this week that the two had split in March, yet in “April, she laughed off rumors that the couple had parted.

Heather Mitts Soccer Player 1


With the admitted parting by an obviously-jilted Mitts, the D-N feels free to now report “With his freedom, Feeley has been spied of late making out with hotties at La Costa in Sea Isle City and picking up girls at the Public House Logan Square.

Now for the amusing ironic part of the story: Mitts says the two are now getting back together (can’t. stop. giggling. - you get some A.J.! *high five*).

Heather Mitts Soccer Player 3


Noting that she’ll be with Feeley this week to sort out their future, Mitts also said, “It’s been hard for both of us with the long distance and other factors. Everybody makes mistakes and we love each other very much.

Right, sure he does. (hat tip - SI.com’s EXTRA MUSTARD)

University Of Florida President Bernie Machen Backs Down On College Football Playoff System

A late afternoon Bullet Joint for ya:

• COWARD UF PREZ IMPEACHES COLLEGE FBALL PLAYOFF: The MIAMI HERALD reports University of Florida President Bernie Machen, apparently not concerned with the laughable lack of credibility plaguing college football’s BCS debacle, has “backed off his playoff football proposal” after meeting with SEC presidents at the conference’s recent spring meetings.

Lee Corso Florida Gator Mascot Head


Machen “decided it’s better to work within the confines of the current” BCS system.

Actually the SEC presidents think it’s better to work within the confines of a system which fattens their personal bank accounts and maintains their Mao Tse Tung-esque chokehold on the sport.

• OLY LOGO A “PUERILE MESS” AND “BROKEN SWASTIKA”: By now we’ve all seen the new, absurd logo of the London 2012 Olympics:

London Olympic Logo


The MANCHESTER GUARDIAN reports that moments after the release of the design, which was created by Wolff Ollins and cost about $800,000 (!), an online petition “calling for the logo’s replacement had gathered more than 3,000 signatures, and websites and television news channels were inundated with almost universally hostile opinions about the design.

Design Museum Founder Stephen Bayley called the logo a “puerile mess, an artistic flop and a commercial scandal.” And the Guardian also notes posters on message boards said the logo resembled a “broken swastika.

• The New York Mets have launched something called “Your 15 Seconds of Mets Fame Commercial Contest,” and the winning entry will debut July 12 on SportsNet N.Y. during a Mets broadcast.

The winner receives tickets to a home game this season (woo-hoo!), and the ad will also appear on the videoboard at Shea Stadium.

Lastings Milledge Myspace Page Photos


Our bet on the first person to appear in the spot: Lastings Milledge.

• BRANDWEEK reports the lovely Heather Mitts will film a TV ad for Under Armour this week for the company’s new “Team Girl” apparel line. The ad will break during ESPN’s ESPY Awards on July 15.

Heather Mitts Soccer Player 1


• SPORTSBUSINESS JOURNAL reports Anheuser-Busch, which was a WNBA founding sponsor and has pumped tens of millions of advertising dollars into the league over the past decade, “is out after 10 seasons.

A-B VP of Global Media & Sports Marketing Tony Ponturo on the WNBA: “The national (television) ratings are tough and the markets without teams had very little interest.

• During a recent ESPN “Outside The Lines” episode, Chicago WSCR-AM sports talk radio host Mike North had these priceless comments about his bosses: “Most corporate executives in radio are weasels, number one. They don’t have any guts, number two. … You don’t know that you said anything wrong until a couple of people bring it up or it’s in print. All of a sudden, the corporate executives who let you say that same thing for 15 years all of a sudden say, ‘You shouldn’t have ever said that.‘”

Speaking of the slap-happy funtime that is sports talk radio, AWFUL ANNOUNCING keeps us abreast of a brewing feud between ESPN Radio’s Colin Cowherd and ESPN.com columnist Bill Simmons.

Bill Simmons


Apparently (I didn’t hear it) Cowherd mocked a recent Simmons post that presented a Kobe Bryant trade scenario.

Simmons then responded to Cowherd’s comments on ESPN.com: “ESPN colleague Colin Cowherd mocked my seven trade scenarios for Kobe on the radio last week without reading the entire column or even attempting to understand its premise … Cowherd embarrassed himself by not understanding basic NBA trading principles like it would be valuable for L.A. to swap Vlad Radmanovic’s contract for Bobby Sura’s expiring contract in a T-Mac/Kobe deal because Sura’s contract expires in 2008, which would buy them some cap space down the road.

Look, I know the radio business lends itself to hosts lazily skimming other people’s columns and blogs but seriously, Colin, in the words of Mark Jackson, you’re better than that. Your show’s on for three hours a day and you get four giant commercial breaks per hour. That leaves you plenty of time to research your segments so you don’t come off as misinformed. No offense.

• The PORTLAND OREGONIAN has an interesting breakdown on the vitals of Greg Oden and Kevin Durant - with Oden’s astonishing athletic attributes making him now the clear choice over the former Longhorn.

• SPORTSBUSINESS JOURNAL reports HBO Sports this summer will once again air the NFL reality show “Hard Knocks,” which centers on a NFL team’s training camp.

The Chiefs will be featured in this year’s edition. The network showed the Ravens in ‘01 and the Cowboys in ‘02.

• FATHER’S DAY GIFT PROVIDES A BONDING EXPERIENCE: The WALL STREET JOURNAL has the details on a Father’s Day travel package offered for Giants fans wanting to attend the June 15-17 series against the Red Sox at Fenway Park.

The $1,995 deal provides two suite tickets to the Saturday game along with a room at the Four Seasons Boston for Saturday night. A package costing $3,495 includes two suite tickets to games on Saturday and Sunday, plus two nights at the Four Seasons and a limo service to boot.

• The BOSTON COURANT reports Tom Brady has put his 3,422-square-foot, ten-room condo on the market for over $5.9M. Brady paid $4.1M for the unit in July ’04.

Meanwhile, Johnny Damon wants $8.2M for his Manhattan condo, which he bought a year ago for $5.5M.

• Reggie Bush is blowing off the New Orleans Saints offseason conditioning program for his own workout plan called “Free Flo Do”.

50 Cent Ciara Reggie Bush


Saints Coach Sean Payton on Bush’s decision: “I’m not familiar with Fre Flo Do. I’m a fan of our offseason program, that’s what I’m a fan of. I think when you align yourself to the right product, your Fre Flo Do, or your ice cream flavors, all that stuff tastes good.”

Wot?

• SPORTS BUSINESS DAILY reports FoxSports.com has signed former NEW YORK DAILY NEWS writer Mark Kriegel as a columnist. Kriegel “will write a weekly column on sports and pop culture named after his former newspaper column, ‘On The Mark’“.

Womens Pro Soccer League Reformed Investors To Pay For Sweaty Girl On Girl Action

INVESTERS FOUND TO PAY FOR SWEATY GIRL-GIRL ACTION: SPORTS BUSINESS DAILY’s Terry Lefton reports professional women’s soccer in the U.S. has officially been “reborn“, as patsies investors have been landed to fund “a women’s pro soccer league that would begin in ‘08 and play a 20-game schedule, from April to October.

More importantly, we’ll probably get another chance to see Heather Mitts panting in short pants.

Heather Mitts Photos