• It’s not often your wife poses with four muscular naked black men - but such as it is in the madcap marriage of Tom Brady & Gisele Bundchen.

• Ricky Hatton, thanks to Jennifer Dooley, may have survived okay from Manny Pacquiao’s pummeling - but three Filipino fans didn’t.

• Tennessee b-ball coach Bruce Pearl is Volunteering for married life again, as he announces his engagement to blonde beauty Brandy Miller.

• Jessica Simpson admits that whenever Tony Romo takes the field, she texts everyone she knows to pray for him.

• Carrie Prejean, Miss California 2009 & recent pal of Michael Phelps, gets her panties in a bunch over a revealing pic revealed from her younger days.

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• Bruce Pearl has Volunteered his heart for marriage once again, as the UT coach announces his engagement to the quite tasty Brandy Miller.

• Jessica Simpson gets so worried when Tony Romo is on the field that she texts everyone to pray for his protection.

• Sorry, folks, tonight’s Yankees game has been called on account of rain. Oh, it hasn’t? Well, too bad - you’re still not getting back in.

• The Green Bay Packers warned us about this sinister swine flu epidemic - over 30 years ago!

• Regis Philblin is almost murdered by a menacing throw from the Marlins’ Hanley Ramirez.

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Philadelphia Eagles backup quarterback A.J. Feeley has a pretty sweet life. Since he’s the third-string quarterback in Philadelphia he never really has to worry about seeing the field outside of the preseason, and is basically paid to hold a clipboard and not get booed. His reward for all this? Well, besides the money he’s making, he’s also engaged to female soccer star Heather Mitts.

Not bad.

Of course, not everybody is aware of the fact that A.J. has got himself a lady. Or maybe they are and just don’t care. For instance, let’s take a look at 39-year old Ayesha Muzaffar who lives in the same condo complex as Feeley in Philadelphia. Heather Mitts or no Heather Mitts, nothing will get in the way of Muzaffar (sounds like a Disney villain doesn’t it?) and her love for her A.J. Well, nothing except maybe the police.

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• THE 700 LEVEL flies over news that Sunday was a great day for Eagles fans - not only did their team run roughshod over the Rams, but the Linc crowd was treated to a halftime appearance by Heather Mitts.

• It wasn’t just UTEP fans gripped in groinal adventures Saturday night, as THE SLANCH REPORT finds footage of a Miners player on the sideline taking a pigskin to the privates, courtesy of the team’s long snapper.

• Mark Gokavi of the DAYTON DAILY NEWS spells out some fun anagrams of NFL teams. Can’t wait for next Sunday night’s matchup between the Tightest Beer Slurps & the Never Bald Clowns!

• Even when she’s skipping out on the U.S. Open, SASSYBELLA learns that Maria Sharapova can still bring in the endorsement deals - this time for Cole Haan clothing.

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• His bloodlust not satisfied with a blowout win over Florida Atlantic, EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY spots Texas Longhorns defensive coordinator Will Muschamp drawing some blood on his own.

We swear we’ve seen (and heard) this kind of sideline excitement before.

• WITH LEATHER catches Cincinnati’s mascot Bear-ly avoiding a parachuting Cat-astrophe.

• THE SPORTING BLOG shares news that the parents of Tony Stewart are worried that the womanizing NASCAR star’s special little friend might someday “rot off“.

• THE BIG LEAD elects to examine the unfolding political war of words between Gilbert Arenas & Baron Davis.

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• LeBron James would leave the NBA & play in Europe, all for a yearly salary of only … 50 MILLION DOLLARS! (raises pinky to corner of mouth)

• Prince Fielder is sorry for brawling with Brewers teammate Manny Parra, but isn’t sorry for the kind of competitor he is.

• Tiger Woods, the world’s #1 golfer, is having problems going number 1.

• On the heels of Manny Ramirez joining the Dodgers, laundromats in the L.A. area have been inundated with lost red socks.

• Carson Palmer is confident the Bengals will win the AFC North.

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• It was a dark and stormy night at Wrigley Field on Monday, and SbB writer (& White Sox fan) Tom was right in the middle of it.

• The Carolina Panthers may send Sluggin’ Steve Smith packing.

• Prince Fielder & Manny Parra brawl in a Brewers dugout brouhaha.

• Brett Favre really doesn’t want to be a bother - even though he is.

• Powerade rolls out a new ad campaign featuring a British Olympic cyclist riding without her clothes on.

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In just a few days, the 2008 Summer Games finally get going in Beijing. And even a few days before that (i.e. tomorrow, August 6th), Olympic soccer competition kicks off. So, how have the American teams been faring during the lead up to the games? More importantly, how has the women’s team been doing? Most importantly, how is Heather Mitts holding up?

Lucky for us, the soccer siren has her own blog to keep everyone up to date on her latest travels & travails. This week, she describes the anticipation of stepping on the pitch for the first round of games.

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• HARDWOOD PAROXYSM bounces over news from BIG TIME LISTINGS that Elton Brand is putting his L.A. house back on the market.

• But Tim Kawakami of the SAN JOSE MERCURY NEWS finds video of the L.A. TIMES’ Bill Plaschke pleading with Elton to stay in town.

• PROLEBRITY discovers that sexy soccer star Heather Mitts didn’t have such an easy time flying to Scandinavia.

• JOE SPORTS FAN seems to be enraptured by a large female Cardinals fan sporting an Aaron Miles-inspired goatee.

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That is, they might stink. The new Chicago franchise of the WPS (Women’s Professional Soccer) doesn’t have any players yet, so it’s hard to tell if their talent deserves the pejorative term. In fact, the team doesn’t even have a name and there’s the rub.

(You tell Heather Mitts that she stinks.)

RED CARD noted the promotion’s announcement a week ago, but voting finally opened this week for the Chicago team’s contest encouraging the wise and thoughtful denizens of the Internet to vote on the name for the new team from a list provided by the team. One of the suggestions is the Chicago Stinking Onions. Naturally.

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