ESPN Head On Last Night’s Wrigleyville Bar Scene

Yes, it was cold last night in Chicago’s Wrigleyville district, and ESPN was apparently there to cover it all:

ESPN Plummeting Temperatures Mean Frozen Balls

Lute Olson To Suceed Kevin ONeill Sporting News Headline

The SPORTING NEWS has some *breaking news* for us today:

Lute Olson To Suceed Kevin O'Neill

So it appears that ol’ Lute just keeps getting stronger down the home stretch (fourth item down).UPDATE: FIXED!

Texan Feels For Bucs Rookie End Reminds Of Mcconaughey Armstrong

MCCONAUGHEY-ARMSTRONG PIRATE FLICK WORKING TITLE:

Texan feels for Bucs' rookie end

Either that, or “Bro-mance“.

Kobe Bryant Tells HS Hoopsters Not To Waste Time

KOBE TO H.S. HOOP HOPEFULS: “DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME”: The CHICAGO SUN-TIMES passes along these encouraging words from Lakers star Kobe Bryant, who was visiting high school hoopsters hoping for an NBA shot:

Sun Times Kobe waste of time

Seems like Kobe doesn’t want any more competition.(Emailers: The head is a little misleading, but that’s the whole point of the post - why do you think we screen-grabbed it?)

Blog-O-Rama: Eva Longoria Quite The Huntress

• STAR PULSE shoots from the hip, as Eva Longoria Parker apparently grew up quite the little huntress:

Eva Longoria

• Not to be outdone by Brian Suksomwong, THE LOVE OF SPORTS has their own fun with their favorite baseball names.

• After another Lions lopsided loss, the DETROIT FREE PRESS hears coach Rod Marinelli blaming himself, not the team’s lack of talent.

• The ST. LOUIS POST DISPATCH has the exciting news of Missouri beating North Carolina on Monday night:

Missouri North Carolina mistake

Too bad they left off the “A&T“.

• 100% INJURY RATE cranks it up with the Canucks and their cut & paste music video.

• AOL FANHOUSE watches their footing, as golfer Rory Sabbatini steps on Tiger’s tail.

• JOE SPORTS FAN finds this Michael Vick fan’s sign ruff to read:

Vick's My Dog sign

• CONSTRUDA can’t believe Wes Welker prefers living in Boston over Miami.

• THE GRAND NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS helps West Virginia locate a new coach.

Ernie Else Blows Lord Dunhill Headline Screenshot

THE COURSE APPARENTLY BROUGHT ERNIE TO HIS KNEES: The headline of the day comes from Cybergolf.com:

Ernie Els Blows Lord Dunhill

Headline: Dicks Buys Chicks Sporting Goods

NO, IT’S NOT ABOUT RICHARD SEYMOUR’S BYE WEEK PLANS: Darren Rovell of CNBC with the headline of the day:

ESPN Headline For The Love Of Rod

• EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY grabs this actual headline from ESPN.com:

ESPN A-Rod screen grab

• Speaking of A-Rod, VEGAS WATCH wonders who’s going to pay $350 million for a 41-year-old infielder.• Pete Dougherty of the ALBANY (NY) TIMES UNION doesn’t like all the dunking on SportsCenter’s Top Ten.

• 100% INJURY RATE broadcasts how Nike is selling the Olympics in China:

Chinese Olympics haircut

• STEROID NATION tees up news that the PGA is getting tough on drug use.• RUMORS AND RANTS has some suggestions on who should replace Lloyd Carr.

Austin American-Statesman Scores Hole In One With Dirty Headline

TEXAS PAPER SCORES HOLE-IN-ONE WITH NAUGHTY HEAD:
Actual headline from the AUSTIN AMERICAN-STATESMAN:

Statesman headline Creamer
Paula Creamer golfer pink

Your Tournament of Champions winner, Paula Creamer.

Charles Barkley hates Nielsen rating system but wants NBA team in Las Vegas

CHARLES BARKS FOR NBA VEGAS TEAM, HOWLS AT NIELSEN: Sir Charles decrees his support for a Vegas NBA team, but disagrees with the way TV viewership is rated.

Barkley and TNT colleague Kenny Smith recently held court with the media, and SPORTS ILLUSTRATED was there to absorb the knowledge.

Barkley SI misspell

Of course, it would help if SI learned to spell Chuck’s last name correctly.Among the nuggets of wisdom tossed around, Charles is on Oscar Goodman’s side in trying to bring a franchise to the mayor’s good city: “We need a team in Vegas. Gambling is not bad for you. It’s like alcohol. Alcohol ain’t bad for you unless you are an alcoholic.”

Charles Barkley poker

Although Chuck’s all for playing in Sin City, he’s not so cheerio about placing NBA squads abroad:”I’ve got no problem going to play exhibition games over there: taking (Manu) Ginobili back to Argentina, taking Tony Parker back to France, taking Dirk (Nowitzki) back to Germany, Yao Ming over to China; I think that’s great. But to have a real game and having guys fly - I flew to China this summer, and it’s a 15-hour flight - you can’t play basketball in that situation. It’s just not good for you.”

Barkley also chimes in on the idiocy of Nielsen’s iron grip of the idiot box:

The rating system is full of s—….You can’t give three people in this room a box and assume 5,000 or 10,000 are watching the same thing.

Sanford & Son

“I can tell you if they gave me and my boy Kenny a box, ‘Sanford and Son’ would have been the No. 1 show in the Nielsen ratings!

Where’s the love for “Good Times”, or “The Jeffersons”?

But with a writers strike looming, Redd Foxx’s reruns may get the top spot yet.