Hard Knocks Goes From Contact To Water Sports

Past couple years, thanks to his myriad of amusing endorsements, Carson Palmer has been a gift that keeps giving for guys like me. And now it gives me great pleasure to report that his brother, backup Bengals QB Jordan Palmer, is ready to relieve his brother in scaring up his own unintentional comedy goldmine.

Jordan Palmer's RunPee iPhone app

(Jordan upholding family tradition of providing comedy endorsement gold)

On HBO’s “Hard Knocks” last night, Jordan promoted an iPhone app he helped develop called RunPee. The app is designed to pinpoint the most opportune times to bleed the goose relieve yourself during a movie. Costing $1.99, RunPee denotes the elapsed time of when to go, replete with dialogue cues - and even comes with a timer. (Uh, like that really matters?)

Dan Florio is the name of the main developer of the app. He describes Jordan’s role at RunPee.com:

Jordan Palmer is part of the RockSoftware team that develops the mobile apps. He called me up one day, back in June, to talk about marketing and stuff. Cool guy, nice conversation. In the back of my mind I kept thinking, “An NFL quarterback called ME!” Still sort of strange this new world I live in.

HBO’s Hard Knocks is covering the Bengals’ camp this season. Carson and Jordan were interviewed wearing RunPee T-shirts. How wild is that? :)

With RunPee the next great iPhone app of our time, let’s all say a little prayer that Bengals Coach Marvin Lewis keeps Jordan on the team this season instead of snuffing out what could otherwise be a joy-filled four months in the Queen City.

RunPee is also far from being the only app Jordan has helped bring to market. The ASSOCIATED PRESS revealed the other side of his biz recently, which entails getting fans to pay for an app that will “connect” them to their favorite athletes … like Mark Sanchez and Chad Ochocinco. Read more…

Week In Review: Reggie & Kim K. Kaput as Couple

• First Tony & Jess, and now Reggie Bush & Kim Kardashian call it quits. NFL star giving his Hollywood honey the heave-ho trifecta now in play.

Kim Kardashian Reggie Bush

• Tour de France teammate Alberto Contador has some strong words for Livestrong leader Lance Armstrong.

• Florida Panthers exec Uri Man is the man for making moves on Fox News anchor Ainsley Earhardt during an on-air interview.

Zorn has scorn for porn: The Redskins coach says he’s never seen any sexually explicit sites.

• The WNBA’s Washington Mystics won’t use a Kiss Cam at games because they’re afraid of locating lesbians locking lips.

Read more…

Artie Lange Is A Genius, According To Artie Lange

Artie Lange took a little time off from admiring donuts and chain smoking Marlboros to appear on Michael Irvin’s radio show on Tuesday, and revealed what we’d pretty much assumed all along. His profanity-filled, over-the-top grossout performance during the debut airing of HBO’s “Joe Buck Live” last week was pretty much custom ordered by HBO and Buck himself.

Artie Lange

I kind of figured as much when Buck made little attempt to rein him in during the broadcast itself, then professed mild outrage over Lange in subsequent interviews. But if you believe Lange — and there’s no reason not to, really — Buck got exactly what he asked for, and his outrage is fake. Read more…

Artie Lange And The ‘Joe Buck Live’ Train Wreck

As the Orlando Magic and now Joe Buck can tell you, overtime can be a cruel mistress. The debut of HBO’s “Joe Buck Live” on Monday was notable for two reasons: The painful, knuckle-biting inexperience of the host, and spectacular warehouse fire of an appearance by MADtv alum and Howard Stern sidekick Artie Lange. Much of the damage was done during the regular show, as we discussed in Speed Read this morning. But Lange really hit his stride in the Overtime segment afterward on HBO.COM.

Artie Lange

What you witnessed there was a man’s career imploding, and I’m not talking about Lange’s. While Buck tentatively stepped through the bulk of the show with fair to middling results — he’s a good interviewer, and not at all unfunny — his weakness in this format immediately became apparent as soon as Lange was allowed to talk. The talk radio bad boy was crude and obnoxious even by cable standards, especially in the Overtime segment. He ripped gays, made jokes about ejaculation; stuff that would make John Rocker blush. After attempting to spar with him a bit, Buck gave up; taking on the appearance of a Keystone Cop trying to arrest a bear.

Read more…

‘Joe Buck Live’ Ready To Bolster A Weary Nation

Like Conan O’Brien’s debut as the new host of “The Tonight Show” or John Madden’s first turn in the “Monday Night Football” booth, all eyes will be focused tonight on FOX SPORTS announcer Joe Buck, as “Joe Buck Live” premieres on HBO. I only pray to God that you’ve got your digital converter box installed.

Joe Buck

Actually, tonight’s debut is probably going to remind us more of this. But I could be wrong. It’s only natural that Buck, known for his vivacious personality and comedy talents staring blankly while speaking into a microphone, should be given his own HBO show. I can picture Robert Klein watching the debut and muttering jealously, “Damn, he’s good.” And who is going to be Buck’s first guest? You guessed it: Read more…

Joe Buck Flexes Comedy Chops In New Talk Show

It’s been over a year since we first discussed windbaggy sportscaster Joe Buck’s attempts to develop a pilot for a talk show/variety show. Sports fans mostly rolled their eyes, wondering how the NFL on FOX’s self-appointed moral authority could possibly pull off the trick of being remotely funny or entertaining.

JJoe Buck

(Stand-up comedy from a stand-up guy. Or something.)

Such concerns, however, were no matter for a guy with the ego and pedigree of Buck. When a guy rockets up the ranks of sportscasters like Buck does, he generally gets what he wants, and this is no different. His show, “Joe Buck Live”, debuts June 15 on HBO, and AWFUL ANNOUNCING’s Brian Powell stumbled upon the promo. Verdict? Well, see for yourself.

Read more…

HBO Bringing In Bengals For Next “Hard Knocks”

Last season, HBO attempted to entertain cable TV audiences with their hard-hitting, behind-the-scenes football expose series “Hard Knocks”, featuring the Dallas Cowboys. Despite the glut of must-see-TV personality types (T.O., Pacman, Romo + Jessica, etc.), the show wasn’t that compelling. (Or maybe it was - I never bothered to tune in. Probably because “Sex Games Cancun” was showing on Cinemax at the same time.)

Chad Johnson HBO

Anyway, HBO is rolling out another season of the show. And in attempt to get some more exciting & controversial footage, this year’s series will be all about the Cincinnati Bengals.

Read more…

HBO Dipping Toes Back In Sports Comedy Pool?

There’s a reason popular art is cyclical. Everyone from the mightiest pharaoh to the lowliest peasant runs out of ideas; even the beginning of this sentence is stolen. When in dire straights, executives take old ideas, put a shiny new twist on it, and trot them out as fresh products. So it’s no surprise that HBO, in desperate need of a hit, is once again considering dipping into the well that is “sports comedy”, whatever weird niche that is.

Arliss

(Their last shot.)

BC BEAT is reporting that Ross Greenburg, the president of HBO SPORTS, has made it clear he plans on pursuing a new original “sports comedy show” for the network. But that’s not all, kids. He’s also looking to somehow get the Internets to give him feedback!

Read more…

HBO Show Catches Pacman Making It Rain Again

Since losing/removing “Inside The NFL” from their schedule, HBO has been looking for more football-centered programming for their pay channel. And last night was the season premiere of “Hard Knocks“, the candid, in-depth, behind the scenes, too hot for TV pigskin series - sort of like “Playmakers“, if it was properly censored & approved by the NFL.

Adam Pacman Jones footballs

(We know one thing about Adam - he’s got a lot of balls)

Although we didn’t catch the premiere (there was some QB trade going on), FANSIDED does pass along a clip from the show, featuring everyone’s favorite calamitous cornerback, Adam “Don’t Call Me Pacman” Jones.

In this week’s installment, Adam is up to his old tricks again, making it rain on teammate Felix Jones’ head. But when we say “making it rain”, we really mean it.

Video after the jump. Read more…

Floyd Mayweather Jr. Says HBO Is Racially Biased

Floyd Mayweather Jr. is retired from boxing, but that doesn’t mean he’s retired from talking. The outspoken pugilist gave the first interview of his post-boxing life to The Grand Rapids Press and covered a wide range of topics.

Retired Boxer Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Money Mayweather says he loved playing the role of the villain, and he’s really retired from boxing. His most interesting comments were directed towards HBO’s boxing coverage and the announcers in particular. Read more…