Dead Goat Found Hanging Outside Wrigley Field

Today marks the 101st straight Opening Day at Wrigley Field in Chicago in which the Cubs won’t be raising a banner that says “World Champions” on it, and as we are all well aware, it’s because the Cubs are cursed. Seriously, they have to be. I mean, how else could you explain the fact that it’s raining outside in Chicago right now and that the odds are pretty good the game may be rained out? A high pressure system colliding with a low pressure system? Please! Keep your science to yourself, Nerdlinger. It’s the curse.

Okay, so I know that’s a bunch of crap. There’s no such thing as curses, but there are plenty of Cub fans around the world that do believe in them, and these people are idiots.  They believe that the Cubs haven’t won a World Series because they wouldn’t let a goat into Wrigley Field many many moons ago. These same morons do things every year to try and reverse this non-existent curse, and early this morning those morons latest attempt included hanging a dead goat from the Harry Caray statue outside Wrigley Field.

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Blogz: Bikini-less Misty May-Treanor’s First Pitch

• HOME RUN DERBY tosses up images of Misty May-Treanor throwing out the first pitch at yesterday’s Diamondbacks-Marlins game.

Misty May Treanor baseball volleyball

You probably didn’t recognize her at first, since she wasn’t in a bikini being butt-slapped by George W. Bush. (Although she did pose for pics with John McCain.)

• LARRY BROWN SPORTS types up word that Dodgers manager Joe Torre is joining the blogosphere.

• WITH LEATHER reels in the news of a North Carolina fisherman who caught a record-sized catfish - with his granddaughter’s Barbie pole.

• Holy Cow! WALKOFF WALK wonders who’s the dumbbell that made this New Orleans gym TV ad featuring a really bad Harry Caray impersonation.

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Blog Jam: T.O. and Ocho Cinco in Argyle Sweaters

  • In honor of the movie, FAN SIDED BLOGS has compiled 10 NFL “Step Brother” combos it would love to see. Even the blockbuster combo of Chad Johnson and Terrell Owens wouldn’t have had a shot against The Dark Knight at the box office.

Step Brothers

  • FANHOUSE takes a field trip to Indianapolis to get an upclose look at Jimmy Johnson’s win at the Brickyard 400.
  • If you enjoy watching children fail, CRACKED has a break down of the 5 Most Ridiculously Unfair Kids Game Shows
  • THE 700 LEVEL discovers Harry Caray is alive and well…thanks to Atlanta Braves reliever Will Ohman. Video after the jump.

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Murray: Cub Broadcast Gig “Cool Retirement Job”

Bill Zwecker of the CHICAGO SUN-TIMES reports some potentially catastrophic news for all you Pat Hughes fans out there.

Bill Murray Cubs Broadcast

Bill Murray apparently has his bloodshot sights trained on the Wrigley Field broadcast booth. Read more…

Blog-A-Roni: Bird Poop On Head Good Luck Charm

• The LONDON GUARDIAN has the poop on Barnsley’s coach getting a lucky omen before his team’s big upset over Liverpool: “I left the team hotel for a walk in the town centre, and as I was talking a bird shat right on my head.”

Bird pooping on kid's head

• RANDBALL crunches the numbers & debunks the myth that only 5 NHL teams are below .500.

• Based on his recent clownish behavior, BLEACHER REPORT’s satirical story on Terrelle Pryor joining the Ringling Bros. Circus doesn’t seem so silly.

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Blog-A-Roni: Shaq Says Bill Broke ‘Big Man Code’

WITH LEATHER, via AOL FANOUSE, uploads video of Shaq calling out Bill Walton for breaking the “Big Man Code”:

• RANDBALL asks that we all hail Wally Szczerbiak’s new son, Maximus.

• THE 700 LEVEL finally found a reason to show up for a Sixers game - a Mr. Potatohead giveaway!

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Blog-A-Roni: Curdle Up With Your Own Cheese Bra

• Remember those lovely Packers fans and their cheese bra? Well, FAN IQ wheys in on where you can get your very own pair.

Packers Fans Wearing Cheese Bras

(Don’t break your neck, kid.)

• WIZZNUTZZ takes a letter, as Richard Nixon writes a note to the Washington Bullets.

• This white boy’s got mad skillz, as a geeky Sonics fan raps about Dirk, Kobe and Nash.

• BUSTED COVERAGE takes a slow boat to China, and find Patriots cheerleaders working the bars:

Patriots Cheerleaders in Chinese bar

• 100% INJURY RATE gets out their shovel & pail, as Russia plans on building a billion-dollar island for the 2014 Olympics.

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US Soldier Imitates Will Ferrell Imitating Harry Caray During Iraq Vehicle Inspection

HOLY COW! SOLDIER DOES FERRELL DOING HARRY CARAY: When you’re stationed thousands of miles from home, fighting to keep yourself and your comrades alive, you try to find some levity to make the most of the situation.

US soldier impersonates Harry Caray

COLLEGE HUMOR offers up video of a U.S. soldier in Iraq trying to inject some humor into a routine vehicle inspection. The grunt gets some grins from his fellow troops by talking like Harry Caray. Check that - talking like Will Ferrell talking like Harry Caray.In a gravelly, exaggerated voice, the soldier asks one of the stopped men, “Do you have any weapons of mass destruction?” He follows that zinger up with, “If you had a weapon made of barbecue spare ribs, would you eat it?

All the confused Iraqi can do is smile and respond, “No understand.”

Will Ferrell Harry Caray shirtless

The GI actually does quite a good job capturing the essence of the ex-SNL’er mimicking the late Cubs caller. And for that, we salute you. Oh, and also for defending the country.But to get a better idea of the original source, we present some other Caray-esque carriers-on to evaulate. Such as:

• ’90s comedian John Caponera.
• Cubs hurler Ryan Dempster.
• And for the ultimate comparison, the Bud Man Himself.

Devin Hester Joins Long List of Special Guests to Take Cubs Fans Out to the Ball Game

DEVIN HESTER JOINS (SOMETIMES UNFORTUNATE) LIST OF FOLKS ROOT-ROOT-ROOTING FOR THE CUUUUU-BIEEEES: Bears speed demon Devin Hester set yet another hometown Chicago crowd afire, but this time with his Monsters of the Midway melodies as he sang ‘Take Me Out to the Ballgame’ at a recent Cubs contest:

devin hester & cubs fan

Which such a tear-jerking and ear-obliterating performance in mind, here’s a look back at how other 7th-inning guests fared at the Friendly Confines (and I don’t care if they ever get back):Pearl Jam frontman Eddie Vedder - as coherent as ever:

Eddie Vedder

CCR frontman John Fogerty - not quite up to par as he was with ‘Fortunate Son’ and ‘Centerfield’:

John Fogerty

NASCAR heartthrob Jeff Gordon - pleased as punch to be in ‘Wrigley Stadium’:

Jeff Gordon

IRL hottie Danica Patrick - proving once again not everyone can drive and sing:

Danica Patrick

Former Cubs outfielder Doug Glanville - complete with Harry Caray glasses (and a quick intro of Tommy Lasorda on the phone):

Doug Glanville

So, judge for yourself how these virtuosos of Peanuts ‘n’ Cracker Jack compare to The Man Himself.

And as you do, don’t forget to enjoy some quality refreshment.