If you needed a sign about how little respect Pete Carroll has for UCLA ahead of their rivalry game this Saturday, consider this nugget from the ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER: the Trojans are going to be wearing their home Cardinal and Gold uniforms for the game, even though it’s going to cost them a time out each half.

It’s a throwback to a tradition of both teams in the Crosstown Rivalry wearing their home uniforms that lasted until 1982, when it was stopped by the No-Fun Police of the NCAA. Carroll has had a jones to restart it since he’s been at USC, and he’s apparently willing to lose a pair of time outs to make this happen.

You don’t do this unless you are a 33-point favorite against a team whose offense scored four touchdowns for the other team last week, and you don’t have a chance in making it to the National Title game. I guess the football monopoly in Los Angeles isn’t quite over yet…

Meanwhile, the NFL game that no one wanted to see turned out to not be very good. The Houston Texans made their first-ever appearance on Monday Night Football…if not memorable, at least successful, beating the similarly hapless Jacksonville Jaguars 30-17.

Steve Slaton rushed for a pair of TDs, and Mario Williams had three sacks while continuing to make you wonder just how lousy the Texans would be if they had drafted bust Reggie Bush instead of him.

Other stories to consider while thanking God that this isn’t your son:

• NBA cheerleader scandal alert: DON CHAVEZ has a Cavaliers’ cheerleader caught in a bubble bath with a female friend. As you would hope, some of the pictures are more NSFW than others.



• If Lance Armstrong wants to make me care about his Tour de France comeback, he should try racing while riding one of GIZMODO’s 10 Most Insane Concept Bikes. If he can win with a bike made out of cardboard, then I’ll be impressed.
• Sure, Plaxico Burress might have shot himself in the leg, but did he crash through a glass table while dreaming of spiders? COMPLEX counts down the Top 5 Most Infamous Self-Inflicted Athlete Injuries.
• According to ESPN, Hal Mumme is not so much the coach at New Mexico State anymore. Next destination for Charlie Weis?
• JUICED SPORTS BLOG has the answers to why Stephon Marbury has been a cancer everywhere he’s been. Turns out he’s a jerk.
• TRUE HOOP breaks down the genesis of Allen Iverson’s crossover (patent pending).
• Hubert “Pit” Martin, a four-time all-star with the Chicago Blackhawks in the 1960s and 1970s, was killed on Sunday when his snowmobile plunged through an ice-covered lake in Canada, according to TSN.
• Topping the list of ways not to die, from FLORIDA SPORTSMAN MAGAZINE: being dragged under water by my boat’s anchor rope as my son looks on. This is why I don’t own a boat (or have a son).
• Want to buy Mike Francesa’s four-bedroom house in Manhasset, NY? BOB’S BLITZ says it can be yours for the cool price of $2.9 million.
• The WNBA is doing great - people are gaga for women’s basketball. Never mind the fact that the Houston Comets - the team that won the league’s first four championships - are folding. KHOU-TV has all the gory details.

POLL NO LONGER MUM(ME) ABOUT WHO VOTED HAWAII #1: Tony Barnhart of the ATLANTA JOURNAL-CONSTITUTION found some fun tidbits in the final coaches poll of the 2007 college football regular season:

Most interesting was a first-place vote given to Hawaii, who needed a last-minute touchdown and last-second interception to defeat a 4-8 Washington at home late Saturday night.The undefeated and Sugar Bowl-bound Warriors were at the top of the list of Hal Mumme, head coach at fellow WAC member New Mexico State.

Meanwhile, some coaches were staying true to their school. LSU’s Les Miles and Oklahoma’s Bob Stoops each voted their own team #1, while Virginia Tech’s Frank Beamer and Georgia’s Mark Richt each had their squads at #2 - with Richt putting his Bulldogs ahead of LSU.Like Mumme, Big Ten coaches also kept solidarity with their conference, as all seven that vote in the poll had Ohio State ranked #1 - even Michigan’s Lloyd Carr.

Need some further help in deciphering the poll madness? The site POLLSPEAK attempts to rationalize some of the thinking by coaches, columnists and computers about who ranks where. They even nominate which casted ballots make the most sense & most nonsense.Such as voting Hawaii #1.