• The Bronx Bombers blow up in a Tuesday night fight with the Blue Jays.

• And if Derek Jeter’s gonna brawl, he’s gonna need a mighty moustache.

• Seems that Wisconsin civic leaders have a problem with 12-year-old albino boys playing football with a tinted helmet visor.

• A Walter Payton statue in front of Soldier Field: A tribute to a Chicago Bears legend, or an insult to America’s veterans?

• ESPN will truly offer a college basketball marathon, as Monmouth & St. Peter’s agree to tip off at 6 a.m. Eastern.

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Chad Ochocinco: Delusional, with a side of megalomania? Sure. But he’s also entertaining. And you should probably get to know him this week, because after Sunday he may not be around.

In a conference call with reporters who cover the Packers this morning, our protagonist said that he is planning on doing the Lambeau Leap if he scores a touchdown at Green Bay. Won’t that like, hurt, due to all the punching and being pummeled with beer bottles and wedges of Styrofoam cheese? No, says Ocho. Read more…

• Jay Culter’s debut as Chicago’s QB was completely em-Bear-assing.

• A fired high school basketball coach decides to spend her new-found free time suing over the fact that girls have to play on school nights while the boys get to play on weekends.

• We knew the New Jersey Nets were losers, but we didn’t realize it was $50 million worth.

• It’s nice when a mother & daughter work together. It’s not so nice when they’re working together to beat up a cheerleading coach.

• Utah’s Kyle Korver & Deron Williams jazz up a charity event with a little dodgeball action.

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It’s been a while since the Bears have had a good quarterback. And it’s a shame, considering they’ve had some pretty good teams that were ultimately sabotaged by guys like Jim Miller and Rex Grossman. So we all know what a huge relief it was for the people of Chicago that they finally would have a real, legitimate star under center.

So, anyone missing Orton yet? In what is always a monumental game for the Bears, Jay Cutler was Brian Griese-esque as he threw four interceptions in a 21-15 loss to Green Bay at Lambeau Field. The CHICAGO TRIBUNE’s David Haugh says that Cutler wasn’t exactly keeping a cool head while everything crumbled around him:

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• Why would Allen Iverson ever join the Grizzlies? Because God told him to.

• Andrea McNulty is willing to drop her sexual assault lawsuit against Ben Roethlisberger - as long as Big Ben admits he did it.

• A foolish foursome tries to steal Cal Ripken Jr.’s “8″ statue from the front of Camden Yards.

• The Redskins are redfaced over the bad publicity of suing a 72-year-old woman over season tickets, so they opt not to take grandma’s 66 grand.

• Since when did Cole Hamels go the David Beckham metrosexual route?

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Go to any major sporting venue for a game, and you’re likely to hear all sorts of colorful language to describe the visiting team (or, if they suck, the home team). It’s universal that at some point, somebody’s manhood - and indeed, his own ability and desire to procreate with women - is going to be questioned. Repeatedly. And God help any athlete who isn’t white, because that’s going to come up once or twice too.

(Verrry mature.)

But for as much flak as Philadelphia fans have earned for their poor behavior, isn’t it time we started admitting that Chicago fans are rapidly becoming some of the most obnoxiously childish in sports? Why, just over the last couple years, we’ve had casual racism, more casual racism, and now this delightful sign (above) directed at Sports Voldemort and Packers fans in Kenosha, Wisconsin.

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• Has the Curse of Alyssa Milano finally been lifted from MLB pitchers?

• What better way to kick off the college football season than by trading really bad rival-bashing songs back and forth?

• Green Bay Packers LB Nick Barnett shares his shopping habits - such as getting his wife a Thumper.

• Tony Kornheiser talks about all the quivering he did during his “Monday Night Football” days.

• Chelsea FC will have to wait awhile before signing any new players.

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Like most teams’ last preseason games, the Packers-Titans tilt tonight in Nashville will feature a bunch of players you’ll never see again and a bunch of plays you’ll never see again, as coaches alternately keep things vanilla or test out works-in-progress. As boring as it is for fans to watch, it has to be even worse for the team’s starters, who aren’t fighting for roster spots and won’t see more than a quarter of action in a meaningless scrimmage.

(SPORTSbyBROOKS: Sports Celebrity Gossip Maturity Since 2001.)

With nothing to prepare for, players have a bit more time than usual on their hands to explore the city around the and, in the case of LB Nick Barnett, get some shopping done for the wife. Nothing wrong with that. But, um, Nick? Some purchases are probably better left un-Tweeted*.

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The age-old conflict between fat people and babies is being waged once again in West Allis, Wisconsin, and all we can do is take cover and hope the side that wins will be benevolent rulers. Tony Sparacino, a 83-year-old longtime Green Bay Packers fan, is challenging the team’s policy of requiring babies to have tickets to get into Lambeau Field.

His reasoning? There’s bench seating at Lambeau, and the Packers let enormous fat people take up two seats (or more) with only one admission. So why should babies, who sit in people’s laps and don’t take up a seat at all, have to have their own ticket?

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• While Stanford suffers through athletic budget problems, football coach Jim Harbaugh gets himself a new $70,000 private bathroom & shower.

• The SEC is certainly a selfless b-ball conference. When the players aren’t giving up scholarships to allow other people onto the team, their coaches are giving up raises so they can afford team trips to Australia.

• UConn is taking the first steps to curtail catastrophic cheerleader injuries.

• Schools aren’t sold on Bud Light’s plans for college-colored Fan Cans.

• Are fantasy sports a nightmare for relationships & fan allegiances?

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