Week In Review: Laker Fans’ Celebration is a Riot

• The Lakers win the NBA title, and many Angelenos celebrate accordingly - if “Angeleno” is Spanish for “a$$hole“.

Lakers fan riot

• Baseball phenom Bryce Harper don’t need no education, plans to skip final two years of high school to become eligible for next year’s MLB draft.

• Posing for a new photoshoot, Anna Kournikova shows she’s still A-OK.

• “Joe Buck Live” makes its long-awaited(?) debut, and Artie Lange insures that it’s a memorable one.

• The mom of porn star Catalina Cruz used to work as a secretary for former Cleveland Browns coach Sam Rutigliano.

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Anna Rawson Makes Her GoDaddy Girl TV Debut

• It’s finally here: Anna Rawson’s first TV commercial as a GoDaddy Girl.

Anna Rawson

Tom Brady & Gisele Bundchen are six months away from unleashing Superbaby onto our world.

• Count Brendan Haywood among those who aren’t pleased about Donte’ Stallworth’s light sentence. But Plaxico probably isn’t as judgmental.

• Wimbledon is worried about potentially massive match-fixing.

• Hard to believe it’s been 15 years since O.J.’s most memorable run.

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Tom Brady And Gisele Bundchen Expecting Child

We’re still about two months away from the start of pre-season football in the NFL, and I’m sure there are millions of Patriots fans who can’t wait for the chance to see how Tom Brady has recovered from a knee injury that robbed him of the 2008 season and kept the Patriots out of the playoffs. Then there are people like me who don’t care about the Patriots at all but are wondering about Brady’s health for no reason other than his fantasy football prospects.

Tom Brady Gisele Bundchen

Now how much Brady himself is looking forward to training camp, I don’t know. Yeah, he’s probably anxious to get back on a football field to try and win another Super Bowl, but at the same time the man did just get married to Gisele Bundchen not too long ago. I mean, would you rather spend 8 hours a day in a film room with Bill Belichick or in bed with Gisele? Though if Tom’s history has taught us anything it’s that he’s going to be leaving the house now that Bundchen is reportedly pregnant.

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Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald Brady’s Kayak

It’s a little ironic after how hard he’s worked to get back onto the playing field, but Tom Brady’s career almost ended the way that so many NFL quarterbacking careers do — by his kayak being capsized in the Charles River. Oh no! Tom! Can you reach this branch?!

Tom Brady

(”Stay alive, no matter what occurs! I will find you!”)

Brady and wife Gisele Bundchen had rented a pair of kayaks for a “leisurely ride on the river” on Sunday when disaster struck, according to the BOSTON HERALD. Exact details are not entirely clear, and won’t be until sometime in the future when the incident is made into a song by Gordon Lightfoot. Read more…

Could LeBron Become The MVP Of Pornography?

Let’s face it: LeBron James is at the level right now where unless his team takes the NBA Championship, his season is a bitter disappointment. With those epic expectations, the vast majority of his career will probably be a pressure-filled letdown. And who wants that? Especially when he can walk away from the court and instead lend his prodigious talents to the world of pornography instead.

LeBron and Gisele on Vogue
(Hey, this is a perfect fit! We’re sure Tom Brady won’t mind; it’s nothing new for Gisele.)

The IVY LEAGUE PORNOGRAPHER has done us the service of musing about whether LeBron would make a good - ahem - male lead. Everything’s SFW except for some sporadic language, but mind where you click out, y’know. So what’s his future going to be, Dirk Nowitzki or Dirk DigglerRead more…

Gisele Gets Back To Basics: Modeling New Bikinis

Last we saw Gisele Bundchen, the supermodeling significant other of Tom Brady was featured in a photo shoot with a bevy of nude muscular black men. (And you thought her Vogue cover with LeBron was provocative.) But now it’s good to see Ms. Bundchen-Brady getting back to what she does best - baring her body in bikinis.

Gisele bikini

Gisele is the new face (and other body parts) of this summer’s collection by Italian women’s clothier Calzedonia. (I think I had a calzedonia for lunch yesterday. Pepperoni & sausage, I believe.)

It’s nice to see Gisele keep busy. It would be even nicer to see more shots of Gisele in bikinis. And I’m happy to oblige after the jump.

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Week In Review: Brady’s Bride w/Nude Black Guys

• It’s not often your wife poses with four muscular naked black men - but such as it is in the madcap marriage of Tom Brady & Gisele Bundchen.

Gisele Bundchen Photo Shoot With Black Guys

Ricky Hatton, thanks to Jennifer Dooley, may have survived okay from Manny Pacquiao’s pummeling - but three Filipino fans didn’t.

• Tennessee b-ball coach Bruce Pearl is Volunteering for married life again, as he announces his engagement to blonde beauty Brandy Miller.

Jessica Simpson admits that whenever Tony Romo takes the field, she texts everyone she knows to pray for him.

Carrie Prejean, Miss California 2009 & recent pal of Michael Phelps, gets her panties in a bunch over a revealing pic revealed from her younger days.

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Speed Read: Artest Once Saw a Chair Kill a Dude

Reality used to be a friend of Ron Artest’s. However, it was long before the public met the kid from St. John’s a decade ago. For example, no one would be surprised to find out the new Gatorade/Tiger Woods cartoons seem like mini-documentaries to the Tru Warier because he has secretly considered himself the NBA’s Dr. Doolittle for years.

Ron Artest, Tru Warier

Therefore, we shouldn’t be shocked to find out reality’s been stiffing his calls again. After a questionable ejection in last night’s 111-98 Rockets loss to the Lakers to tie the series at one game apiece, Artest entertained the media with alternating moments of clarity speaking about the ejection and tales about that one time he was in Space Jam II as directed by Quentin Tarantino.

Apparently, this is the first time in Artest’s storied violent past that he remembered a pick-up game where tempers flared and one player snapped the leg off a nearby table and threw it with enough force to pierce the heart of another. By the way, Violet Palmer would only call a flagrant one on that.

One expert on keeping it real is Skip to My Lou himself, Rafer Alston. Eddie House’s yipping dog act (which is only the third-most irritating version on this Celtics squad) wormed its way under the skin of the boy from Queens, causing this rather understandable reaction:

 

The head slap will probably take the Orlando Magic’s only nominal point guard out of an upcoming game, a rather unappealing proposition after the 112-94 posterior-kicking administed by the Celtics last night. Ron Artest would like to know what reality would eject him for chattering with Kobe Bryant about his flailing elbows while a head smack only earns double techs.

He might start by asking the woman found in Dirk Nowitzki’s home Wednesday. Surely, one of the eight aliases she’s used in previous forgery convictions can speak to the matter. Also, maybe one of them is a lawyer that can explain why she was arrested in Nowitzki’s house for theft of service and probation violations.

Dirk Nowitzki

(”No, man… I was just asking if you saw ‘House’ last night.  Why so sensitive?”)

And maybe one of those aliases once killed a man with a table leg from 20 feet. Hey, it’s no stranger than knowing Ron Artest took the Houston Rockets to a plane of existence Tracy McGrady never could: the second round.

Your hail of bullet points today may seem a bit odd, but there’s a reason for that:

Sasha Cohen

Holly McPeak

Philadelphia Union logo

Who will be ejected next in the NBA Playoffs?

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Tom Brady’s Marriage Is A Little Unconventional

Many pointy-nosed media observers have recently reasoned that rogue sports blogs are responsible for the increased prying into the off-field lives of high profile athletes.

Gisele Bundchen Photo Shoot With Black Guys

(Photo shoot or scouting Pats’ 2009 draft class?)

I’d love to take credit for that, but it isn’t true. Some athletes are now being covered like show business celebrities only because they are in relationships with well-known entertainment names. Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen top the list, which makes some rather provocative photos that I recently discovered of Brady’s new bride somewhat salient posting material.

Of course, this kind of coverages pisses off players and teams to no end. (And dinosaur media members.) But when you mingle with tabloid targets, you don’t get the free pass that the sports media has provided ballplayers for over a century.

And lest you think I would only post the smallish, thumbnail collage of the photos, there are some full size images after the jump. Read more…

Bündchen-Büttchin Wedding Is Marred By Gunfire

The second Tom Brady-Gisele Bündchen wedding went down in Costa Rica last night, and when you mix lawless Central America with the lawless NFL, something’s bound to go down. So it’s not a huge surprise that the power couple’s ceremony was interrupted by gunfire.

Yuri Cortez

No worries, straight men with a crush on Bündchen, and “straight” men with a mancrush on Brady; the happy couple is fine. The trouble occurred when the security detail came across paparazzi in the bushes, and fired on them as they attempted to escape. You know, the usual celebrity wedding stuff.

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