China Protects The World From Ugly Little Girl

At the rate things are going, after Michael Phelps breaks Mark Spitz’s record of seven gold medals, he might want to make sure that the gold used in his medals is real. While the Beijing games have been spectacular so far, we keep finding out that more and more of what we’re seeing from China isn’t real. First we found out that during the Opening Ceremonies they went all Hollywood and used CGI to show us fireworks going off. The reasoning behind this was that without the enhanced computer graphics, the fireworks wouldn’t have shown up on television.

Opening ceremonies

So they just didn’t want us to miss anything, which is awfully sweet of them. Of course, missing fireworks isn’t the only thing China is concerned about. They also wanted to make sure we didn’t hurt our eyes during the ceremonies, which is why they wouldn’t let one girl sing during them. The reason for this? Well, she was just too ugly.

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