Two weeks ago an urban gossip blog reported that the fiancee and baby momma of Gilbert Arenas, Laura Govan, was having a sexual relationship with Shaquille O’Neal. The blog even went so far to publish alleged email correspondence between the two.

The day after the blog report, O’Neal’s wife Shaunie, who is a friend of Govan’s, filed for divorce from Shaq. The Wizards and Cavaliers met last Wednesday in Washington, so there was plenty anticipation of a confrontation between O’Neal and Arenas, but Shaq contracted a “mysterious” shoulder ailment before the game and was a no-show.

Arenas hasn’t addressed the rumors about his fiancee’s infidelity with O’Neal, but he did mention Shaq prominently in a recent video he posted on Twitter. A strange, somewhat ominous message directed at O’Neal. Read more…

All across America gigantic underpants are flying at half-staff today as it is learned that Shaunie O’Neal has filed for separation from her large, Cleveland Cavaliers-playing husband. This just a day after it was alleged by one web site that Shaq was canoodling with Gilbert Arenas‘ fiance, Laura Govan.

The site YOUNG, BLACK AND FABULOUS, which needless to say I have bookmarked, has some quite graphic emails purportedly sent back and forth between Shaq and Govan. And the papers that Shaunie O’Neal filed on Monday are just as graphic, with terms such as “community assets” and “separate property.” Anyway, Shaq’s back on the market, ladies. Form and orderly queue. Read more…

It was an incredibly tumultuous night in Cleveland, and the Cavaliers losing to the Wizards was the least shocking news of the night. (Although as the WASHINGTON POST’s Michael Lee points out, Washington joins the Lakers and Celtics as the only teams to beat Cleveland twice this season.) Yes, it’s not often that the best team in the league loses to the worst team in the league, but the Wizards are a unique case, with Gilbert Arenas and Brendan Haywood finally back playing after missing almost all of the season with injuries.

No, most of the evening drama in Cleveland involved the Browns. First came some fallout from Jay Cutler’s trade to the Bears, specifically reports that Cleveland had tried to work out a three-way deal with the Broncos and Redskins that would have sent Brady Quinn to Denver and Jason Campbell to Cleveland. Browns coach Eric Mangini spent Thursday night denying these reports; expect Quinn to demand a trade because the Browns tried to trade him sometime within the next week.

And later in the evening, there was news in the DUI manslaughter case against Browns WR Donte Stallworth, and it was more than just his first appearance at a court hearing. It turns out that Stallworth was already in the NFL’s substance abuse program at the time of his arrest, which opens him up to a whole range of punishment from the league. Of course, he’s facing charges that could land him in jail for at least eight years, and having a history of substance abuse issues is not going to help his case, so I’d say that Roger Goodell is the least of Stallworth’s problems right now.

Meanwhile, there were no problems at the opening of the Hard Rock Cafe Yankee Stadium yesterday, just a lot of unintentional comedy as reported by MLB.COM. What do I mean? How about Yankees’ Executive Vice President Hal “The Pretty One” Steinbrenner joining rock stars/C-list celebs with nothing better to do Ace Frehley of KISS, Scott Ian and Frank Bello of Anthrax, Darryl “DMC” McDaniels, Bernie Williams and members of the Seminole Nation to smash guitars instead of cutting a ribbon. And yes, this means rock and roll is officially dead.

(Oh yeah, “Late Show With David Letterman” band drummer Anton Fig was there, which only means one thing: even Paul Shaffer had too much dignity to show up to this thing.)

Other news while you were rioting in the streets of State College to celebrate Penn State’s NIT victory:

• As PUCK DADDY notes, it must be like getting their hearts ripped out all over again for Hartford Whalers fans to see a Hurricanes jersey with the Whalers’ logo (and a God awful color combination). Although I’d love it if the Ravens wore Browns jerseys for “Turn Back The Clock” day against Cleveland.



• While the Jay Cutler trade solved one long-running NFL saga, the Anquan Boldin/Arizona Cardinals mess continues to fester. The latest comes from NFL.COM which reports that Boldin told a Florida radio station that he would “love to” play in his home city of Miami.
• I had hoped that the America’s Cup had gone the way of 1980s fads like The Lambada, Swatches and The California Raisins. But apparently it’s still happening, and it’s now the focus of lawsuits involving people with more money than they know what to do with. The AP has the latest news, as software tycoon Larry Ellison and his boat “Oracle” have won the right to challenge the current Cup holders, Judge Elihu Smails and his boat “The Flying Wasp” (seen below at its coronation):
  

• It looks like things are going anything but “perfect” for former Cincinnati ace Tom Browning: THE NEWS & OBSERVER reports the Reds have dropped him as the pitching coach for the Carolina Mudhens after he was arrested on Friday for failure to pay child support.
• If you’re a former NFL player who gets arrested on drug charges, you would hope that the headlines wouldn’t call you “forgettable.” But that’s just how NBC DALLAS FORT WORTH described former Cowboy Leonardo Carson, arrested yesterday on intent to sell charges, and I’ll be damned if they aren’t right.
• Now that Tim Floyd has turned down Arizona, TUCSON CITIZEN columnist Anthony Gimino wants to know if there’s anyone left who wants the Wildcats’ coaching job. May I make a suggestion: Former Baylor coach Dave Bliss is available and ready to talk. Sure, he’s got a checkered past, but the guy knows how to win. Barring that, perhaps Jerry Tarkanian is available.
• Sports is creeping its way into politics in Los Angeles, as the LOS ANGELES DAILY NEWS reports that City Attorney candidate Carmen Trutanich is being ripped by his opponent and NOW for successfully representing former USC defensive back Eric Wright on rape charges in 2005.
• I can’t imagine why parents in Shenendehowa, NY are upset to find out that a part-time track coach had his teaching license revoked 11 years ago after an alleged sexual abuse case. WTEN-TV says that while Don Paretta was not convicted, he admitted to giving a former student a note at graduation saying he would “miss the student’s face and body.” And this guy coached pole vaulting: let the jokes commence.
• According to the NEWARK STAR-LEDGER, Boston College DT B.J. Raji - a projected Top 10 pick in the NFL Draft - committed a crime worse than scoring single digits on the Wonderlic test: he reportedly flunked a drug test at the NFL Combine.
• Finally, HOME RUN DERBY sends a hearty congratulations to Manatee Community College, which defeated the Pittsburgh Pirates 6-4 yesterday. Yes, those Pittsburgh Pirates, as in the “allegedly major league Pirates.” Bill Mazeroski would be rolling in his grave, if he were dead.

A 6-foot, 38-year-old former New York lawyer with no playing or coaching experience is the most sought-after personal trainer among NBA circles? Such is the aura & mystique of a man known as the Hoops Whisperer.

Hannah Karp of the WALL STREET JOURNAL bounces along the story of Idan Ravin, the attorney-turned-trainer who was raised an orthodox Jew, but has many NBA stars like Carmelo Anthony, Chris Paul and Gilbert Arenas proclaiming “Mazeltov!” at his unorthodox training techniques.

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Eddie Jordan will no longer act as head coach of the fantastically awful 1-10 Washington Wizards, replaced by a nominal front office presence that has been shadowing the team all season. According to WIZARDS INSIDER, Ed Tapscott runs the team as of practice this morning.

Jordan took over the club in 0 B.Z. (Before Zero), joining the franchise in 2003 when Gilbert Arenas did.  After a brutal 25-win opening campaign, Jordan managed to hold the Wizards firmly at mediocre, never straying from a few games over .500 and only advancing in the playoffs once before becoming LeBron James’ warmup series in three consecutive postseasons.
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• Even though the Olympics are over, gymnast Alicia Sacramone is still going for the gold by trying to land a TV gig.

• Gilbert Arenas shows his support for President-Elect Barack Obama by tattooing his fingers.

• A Buffalo sportswriter leaves a high school football game early - by falling down the press box stairs.

• No wonder Texas A&M has been going through a crappy season - their stadium is filled with bat poop.

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Over the last week I’ve talked to a lot of people who are extremely happy that Barack Obama will be the next President of the United States. Yes, there is plenty of love to go around for the President-elect because he’s not George W. Bush, and like a new head coach, all the fans love him before the season starts. Once the games start, though, opinions have a tendency to change as people suddenly remember a President can’t do everything he promised.

Which is why Gilbert Arenas may one day regret the decision he made on Friday night. You see, earlier this year when Gilbert said he wasn’t going to vote he wasn’t being serious. In reality Agent Zero is a pretty big Obama supporter. Did I say supporter? I meant to say Gilbert is thisclose to stalking him.

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Rest easy, sports fans. Some of you have been concerned that, between his recent knee surgery and heartbreakingly discussing his painful upbringing, that Gilbert Arenas had mellowed out a bit. But he’s back in full force, with a wide-ranging interview in DIME that should reassure even the most apostate Gilbertologist that the patron saint of crazy hasn’t lost a step.

“I think I do enough things off the court that keep me relevant,” says Agent Zero, as the universe nods its head in agreement. From calling the Cavaliers “a bad NCAA team,” to how running off at the mouth is great PR for the Wizards, to a so-insane-it’s-brilliant comparison of the NBA to a tree, Arenas proves once again that if he’s not crazy, he might just be too smart for the rest of us mortals to comprehend him. (Our savior speaks, after the jump.)

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• PRO FOOTBALL TALK suggests another name change might be in order for The Wide Receiver Formerly Known as Chad Johnson after the Bengals’ rough start:

• Think your team got blown out last week? BLEACHER REPORT reminds you just how bad it could be by looking back at the anniversary of Georgia Tech 222, Cumberland 0.
• NJ.COM suggests that Rutgers QB Mike Teel might want to go into Witness Protection based on the hate he’s getting from Scarlet Knights fans for the team’s awful season.
• SPORT CRACKLE POP eats up the news that Manchester United soccer stud Cristiano Ronaldo was given a red card by a hot Colombian soap star he tried to put the moves on.
• PUCK DADDY wants you to get out the vote: for the new Hockey Night in Canada theme song. I’ll vote for whatever Rush is doing.

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Another night, another Mets collapse: this time they blew a four-run lead before falling 9-6 to the Cubs in 10 innings. Combine that with CC Sabathia pitching a gem on short rest to lift the Brewers to a 4-2 win over the Pirates and you’ve got a tie for the NL Wild Card. Instead of buying seats as souvenirs when the season is over, Mets fans might just be ripping them apart in disgust after another late-season collapse.

The Phillies lost, too, but even more troubling, as the PHILADELPHIA DAILY NEWS reports, was this: the Philadelphia Police Department bomb squad blew up the hot dogs the Phillie Phanatic shoots into crowds between innings, after someone called in about a suspicious package. They were hardly a danger to the public, unless you count the nitrates, fat and sodium. But this is Philadelphia, the home of the cheese steak - when it comes to food leading to heart attacks, hot dogs are the least of their concerns.

Former Virginia starting QB Peter Lalich strikes me as a fan of cheese steaks. And hot dogs. And whatever else he can find when he’s hammered. Even though he was just kicked out of school for underage drinking, COLLEGE FOOTBALL TALK notes that it didn’t take long for him to land on his wobbly feet: he’s already enrolled at Oregon State, and will be eligible to play next season.

Why did Lalich choose the Beavers? Perhaps he thought that Dennis Erickson was still the head coach and he needed a new drinking buddy. Or maybe OSU wanted some advance scouting for their game against USC tonight, since he started against them the opening weekend. Although I’m guessing any notes he gave to Coach Mike Riley weren’t very useful:

“Dear Coach: Their defense hits really hard. It hurts to play them, especially when you’re nursing a wicked hangover from Dollar PBR night at Snooker’s.”

Also landing on his feet quickly: fired Lions GM Matt Millen. Actually, it’s more like “gently floating to Earth on a golden parachute” as MLIVE.COM reports that Detroit could be on the hook for the his entire $50 million contract after letting him go. Judging by this photo found by DEADSPIN, you would hope that he could afford a riding lawnmower with that giant wad of cash.

• WITH LEATHER has designs on the world’s first underground stadium, currently being built in Qatar. No truth that the rumor that the Raiders’ home field of the Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum is underground: it’s just the coach who is being buried six feet under.
• CBS 4 DENVER has Broncos’ lineman Kenny Peterson trying to get a side mount on reporter Kathy Lee. Don’t get any ideas, creeps - they were learning Jiu-Jitsu for a story. Needless to say, he fared better against her than the black belt trainer.
• T.J. Simers of the LOS ANGELES TIMES highlights some good deeds by Manny Ramirez - and pimps this very site!
• WASHINGTONIAN.COM interviews Trader Joe’s cheese buyer turned DC SPORTS BOG writer Dan Steinberg, who gives his opinions on everything from Gilbert Arenas to Jim Zorn’s magic dust to beer.
• Is Andy Pettitte done as a Yankee? The NEW YORK DAILY NEWS wonders that after the team announces he’s done for the season with a bum left shoulder. If only there was some way he could take something to help him get stronger and recover faster between starts…
• The DALLAS MORNING NEWS reports about an ex-women’s basketball player at SMU who is suing the school and head coach Rhonda Rompola for pulling her scholarship after she complained about inappropriate comments and questions the coach allegedly made about her lesbian sex life.
• MMA EXPERTS BLOG is ready to take Gina Carano to the mat for calling a press conference to complain about all the attention she’s receiving. Because posing for men’s magazines while wearing practically nothing and starring in American Gladiators while … well … wearing practically nothing is a great way to avoid being noticed.
• MOUTHPIECE SPORTS notes that even though none of the players from the original RBI Baseball Nintendo game are still playing, seven of the teams are still playing in the same stadiums. Of course, every stadium in RBI Baseball looked like a more generic Three Rivers Stadium, so take that at face value.
• HOME RUN DERBY wonders if the Cubbies aren’t tempting fate by already having World Series tickets printed up.
• The Oakland A’s haven’t decided to unveil new uniforms to court the alternative lifestyle crowd in the Bay Area: SF GATE reports that the rookies were forced to dress in drag for the team’s final road trip to Seattle. Almost but not quite as nightmare-inducing as the Padres as Hooters girls, but close.

Hot dogs plus the bomb squad might be a mess, but is the pinnacle of exploding goodness?