Three weeks ago Michael Phelps appeared on Regis & Kelly to do the only thing he does these days, flog dishwashers and motor oil.

(Should we also believe Phelps doesn’t know Paparazzi’s  supposed (im)plant?)

During the interview, Phelps said that the paparazzi had recently planted a monster-boobed Asian woman next to him at the airport because she looked like his Asian topless model girlfriend, Caz Pal.

(Ladies: Wanna attract socially-crippled Olympians? Back tattoo is the ticket!)

But while describing the scenario, Phelps told Kelly Ripa that he didn’t have a girlfriend. In other words, he’d split from Pal.

All I can say is I’m glad polygraph isn’t part of Olympic testing procedures. Read more…

So I watched Regis & Kelly for a split-second (honest) this morning in my Chicago hotel room and I saw an unkempt Michael Phelps on the show. (Enough already of the deviated septum as Abercrombie look.)

So Kelly Ripa asked Phelps about being trailed by paparazzi and recently spotted with his girlfriend at the airport.

(Caz Pal (l) was mistaken for Asian woman near Phelps at airport)

Phelps bristled when he heard Ripa’s comment, and went onto to claim that the Asian woman in question seen in paparazzi photos with Phelps this week was not his girlfriend, Caz Pal: “The photographers post this girl up next to me as I get out of the car and she follows me in. … I’ve never seen her before in my life.”

Phelps also confirmed to Ripa that he was no longer seeing Pal: “I’m not seeing anyone now.”

Like all of us viewing the photos yesterday, Ripa thought that the monster-boobed woman (photos) was the female recently linked to Phelps - Vegas-based nudie (implied!) model and waitress Caroline Pal.

So who the hell was that woman? Read more…