‘Saw V’ — There Go The Georgia Tech Goalposts

Oh you crazy college kids and your tearing down of the goalposts after a big upset victory. Also your carrying of the goalpost to the university president’s house and then cutting it into small pieces with a hacksaw on his lawn. GREG: “You’re talking about Delta House, sir.” DEAN WORMER: “Of course I’m talking about Delta House, you twit!”

Actually in this case we’re talking about Georgia Tech, whose boisterous students, after an unlikely 28-24 win over No. 4 Virginia Tech, tore down the goalposts and made off with one of them. Fun fact: Among the injuries reported in the escapade was “asthma attack.” Milhouse did not return a phone call for comment.

Videos of the entire incident following the jump. Read more…

Speed Read: Hurricanes Avoid Yellow Jackets Trap

All this week, one of the top stories in college football was about the resurgence of the University of Miami football program after their Labor Day victory over Florida State. They were ranked in the Top 25 for seemingly the first time since Bernie Kosar was behind center, and people were talking about how head coach Randy Shannon had turned the moribund program back into players on the national stage.

Miami vs Georgia Tech

Which meant only one thing: The ‘Canes were due to crash and burn last night on ESPN against Georgia Tech. After all, they would certainly be dealing with a team-wide outbreak of swollen heads after their “program changing” win against the Seminoles. Plus, they would have to deal with the Yellow Jackets’ screwy triple option offense, which is tough under any circumstances. All the signs were there for a total meltdown: in fact, it had to happen.

Read more…

Speed Read: Steelers Salvage Opening Night Win

If anyone wanted to know the difference between college football and the NFL, you just needed to watch the two games last night. (At least the two that anyone cared about - sorry, Florda A&M at Winston-Salem State on ESPNU.) If you like offense, crazy plays and wild comebacks, then the Clemson at Georgia Tech game was for you. But if you prefer low-scoring, hard-hitting football that’s kind of not very exciting until the final five minutes, then the NFL kickoff game between Pittsburgh and Tennessee was for you. (Sorry, is my bias showing?)

Steelers vs Titans

First let’s talk about the Steelers’ 13-10 overtime victory. Plainly put, Pittsburgh had no reason to win this game. They could not run the ball, gaining a whopping 33 yards. (Note to the guy in my fantasy league bragging about “stealing” Rashard Mendenhall: eat it.) And between Jeff Reed almost shanking the game-tying 32-yard field goal into the offensive line’s backsides and Hines Ward fumbling after a reception took him inside the Titans’ five with a minute to go, they were teetering on disaster. Read more…

You Can Exhale Now, Longhorn Fans: 28-24

Oklahoma State played like the second-best team in the nation this afternoon. There was one tiny problem, however, with Oklahoma State’s virtuoso performance, and that is that they were facing the best team, Texas. The Cowboys’ feisty resistance kept them in the game all day long, and Texas was only able to escape, 28-24, after a last-second Hail Mary fell harmlessly to the turf, batted down at the 10-yard line. Sure, superman WR Dez Bryant had gotten past the Texas secondary, but that’s mainly because the secondary was playing the ball, which was nowhere near Bryant when it came back down to earth. It was a gritty, gutty fight on both sides, though, certainly a better fight than (ahem) Oklahoma put up, and only the most careless of pollsters will drop Oklahoma State more than a spot or two for this loss.

Texas Happy

Elsewhere in college football this afternoon… Read more…

George O’Leary Works His Players A Bit Too Hard

Central Florida head football coach George O’Leary is a pretty good coach. He’s not a great coach, but he’s good enough to keep getting hired places. Unfortunately for O’Leary, it seems the only time we hear about him is when he’s doing something wrong. Like say that time he was hired as the new head coach at Notre Dame, but then had to resign the position once the school found out he was lying on his resume (the folks at Notre Dame became suspicious after he claimed to have painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel). The last time there was anything in the news on O’Leary, it was due to the death of Ereck Plancher, who died when he collapsed after conditioning drills back in March.

O’Leary took some heat then for possibly working his players too hard in practice, and now more players are coming forward saying that George was too rough on them in practice as well. Take former UCF defensive end DaQuwan McNealy, who quit the team after O’Leary damn near killed him.

Read more…

Pseudo-Priest Sneaks Into Notre Dame Stadium Before Game

HEAVEN HELP US - FAKE PRIEST SNEAKS INTO IRISH GAME: A prankster posing as a priest was able to sneak into Notre Dame Stadium just before a game:

Notre Dame kid Rowan Atkinson priest

SPORTS ILLUSTRATED also learns that the domer daredevil posted his heretical hijinks on YouTube - only to have the video-sharing site take it down.

The clip showed the dishonest deacon posing by the “Play Like A Champion Today” sign, chatting it up with a TV reporter, and even greeting the Fighting Irish squad as they hit the field against Georgia Tech.

Georgia Tech Notre Dame

University spokesman Dennis Brown said security thought the “priest” and his camera crew were on the up-and-up, adding, “It looked professional enough that clearly the ushers at the gate were deceived and made a mistake.

Brown continued that current stadium proceedures should be enough to keep future false fun from following.


Still, God can’t be happy that they allowed the parochial phony to prank around under the eyes of Touchdown Jesus. The Irish’s odorous 0-2 start must be His divine punishment.