Free At Last: A-Rod’s Divorce Deal Finally Settled

• Attention, ladies! (And Derek Jeter & Madonna!) The legal wrangling has been put to rest, and A-Rod is now a free man!

Alex Rodriguez waving Cynthia

(“Toodle-oo, Toots!”)

• The NBA fines Michael Beasley $50,000 for his role in the Mario Chalmers -Darrell Arthur marijuana mess. Boy, he must feel like some a dope.

• A large 800-pound animal was seen roaming the streets of New York City, and that’s no bull. (Well, actually it is.)

• We flush out video of George Brett sharing some bowel problem stories with spring trainees.

Read more…

George Brett Unfortunate Video: “I S— My Pants”

A video of George Brett recounting an unfortunate, involuntary bowel movement has surfaced on Youtube.

George Brett

Brett, who was mic’d up while coaching at a Royals Spring Training session, takes up three full minutes recalling how he  “s— my pants” on two different occasions after eating meals (video after the jump) Read more…

Blog-O-Rama: Taking The “Rec” Out Of Rec Specs

  • JOE SPORTS FAN eyes this eye protection aficionado rocking two pairs of Rec Specs.

    Rec Specs

  • George Brett was a coke head? BUGS AND CRANKS notes that ESPN’s Rob Neyer thought the coverage of the 25-year anniversary of the “Pine Tar Game” was a great time to suggest that Brett, who he calls “one of the hardest partiers in the midwest,” used cocaine.
  • THE BIG LEAD gives us the scoop that U.S. Olympic track star Lolo Jones may be stealing from Chad Johnson’s playbook.
  • AWFUL ANNOUNCING informs us that the real star of last night’s MLS All-Star game was ESPN’s Rob Stone and his sidekick “Bitchy the Hawk.” Video after the jump. Read more…

Blog Jam: Jaws Promises New Eyewear This Year

• DEADSPIN keeps an eye on Ron Jaworski, as the NFL analyst promises to don some new glasses this season.

Ron Jaworski

Eric Angevine of ESPN THE MAGAZINE checks out some of the unusual sports memorabilia up for bids on eBay, such as a George Brett album.

• PRO FOOTBALL TALK late-hits us with news that Rodney Harrison has been voted by coaches as the NFL’s dirtiest player.

• UNDRAFTED FREE AGENT doesn’t feel so small in listing their choices of the 10 biggest Napoleonic complexes in sports.

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Blog-A-Roni: Wade Flattered By Bulls Trade Talk

• Fred Mitchell of the CHICAGO TRIBUNE fans the flames of the latest NBA trade rumors - this time, it’s Dwyane Wade going to the Bulls.

Dwyane Wade Benny the Bull

Ryan Wilson of AOL FANHOUSE keeps the faith, as Cowboys safety Roy Williams compares himself to Jesus Christ.

• The DETROIT FREE-PRESS skates over the confession that Tiger Woods is no fan of hockey.

• But the KANSAS CITY STAR counters that George Brett loves the sport - and that he’s willing to invest into any NHL team that comes to town.

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‘He can hardly move, he’s got hemorrhoids so bad’

A runny funny tale comes to us from the far reaches of oblivion today. More specifically, the Detroit Tigers’ clubhouse. The DETROIT FREE PRESS reports that the agony the Tigers have been experiencing since opening day is no longer limited to between the lines.

Carlos Guillen Hemmoroids

There’s a reason Carlos Guillen had a rough game — including two errors — Monday night at third base. “He can hardly move — he’s got hemorrhoids so bad,” Tigers manager Jim Leyland said Tuesday. “He’s been playing with hemorrhoids that probably need to be lanced. He probably shouldn’t have been out there (third base on Monday).”

Hemorrhoids that “need to be lanced“? Great. Thanks for that Jimbo. Guess I won’t be needing these anytime soon.

So the Tigers have a player that has infected hemmoroids so bad that he can hardly walk. And where does that leave him? Batting fifth in the starting lineup last night, of course! (no truth to the rumor that the Tigers also started a triple amputee behind the plate last night)

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Co-Owner Of Jared Allen KC Bar Burned By Trade

As Jared Allen settles in as a new member of the Vikings, the KANSAS CITY STAR focuses on the victim hurt most by the trading of the popular Chief:

The Kansas City bar with his name on it.

Jared Allen Chiefs

(May I tell you our drink specials this evening?)

The Jared Allen Sports Arena & Grill had just opened in K.C. last March. But now just over a month in business, the big name attached to the local eatery is no longer a hometown hero. And such a turn of events may have made co-owner & general manager Chuck Tabor lose his appetite:

Read more…

Royals Sweep Tigers, Still Kings Of The AL Central

Will wonders never cease? The Kansas City Royals - yes, the Royals - are still sitting atop the AL Central, as they completed a sweep of the Detroit Tigers with a 4-1 victory at Comerica Park on Thursday.

Kansas City Royals high five

These are historic times in KC, indeed, as it’s been a while since Royals fans have witnessed success of any kind.

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Outfielder Leaps Player, Sedans In A Single Bound

By now you’ve probably already seen this video of Royals outfielder Joey Gathwright jumping over Dodgers pitcher Hiroki Kuroda:

And you might’ve seen Gathright jump over a sedan in a parking lot. But in case you haven’t, hear you go: Read more…

Yahoo Sports #1; Lingerie Loss Puppy Bowl’s Gain

SbB passes along a rundown of the non-Randy Moss news of the day:

• Yahoo Sports is now grabbing more visitors than traffic now trails

• We can handle the loss of the Lingerie Bowl, just as long as the Puppy Bowl pounces onward.

Rick Neuheisel should have kept his players on shorter leashes during his U-Dub days.

George Brett no longer has the appetite for the restaurant business.

• A wedding gown-wearing reporter at Super Bowl Media Day asks for Tom Brady’s hand in marriage:

Ines Gomez Mont asks Tom Brady about marriage

• A new SI cover will show Tiger Woods as Jesus.

• Pardon the pulse interruption, but Michael Wilbon is recovering nicely from a heart attack.

Schrutebag wants to start a blog? Seriously?