A runny funny tale comes to us from the far reaches of oblivion today. More specifically, the Detroit Tigers’ clubhouse. The DETROIT FREE PRESS reports that the agony the Tigers have been experiencing since opening day is no longer limited to between the lines.
There’s a reason Carlos Guillen had a rough game — including two errors — Monday night at third base. “He can hardly move — he’s got hemorrhoids so bad,” Tigers manager Jim Leyland said Tuesday. “He’s been playing with hemorrhoids that probably need to be lanced. He probably shouldn’t have been out there (third base on Monday).”
Hemorrhoids that “need to be lanced“? Great. Thanks for that Jimbo. Guess I won’t be needing these anytime soon.
So the Tigers have a player that has infected hemmoroids so bad that he can hardly walk. And where does that leave him? Batting fifth in the starting lineup last night, of course! (no truth to the rumor that the Tigers also started a triple amputee behind the plate last night)
The Jared Allen Sports Arena & Grill had just opened in K.C. last March. But now just over a month in business, the big name attached to the local eatery is no longer a hometown hero. And such a turn of events may have made co-owner & general manager Chuck Tabor lose his appetite:
Will wonders never cease? The Kansas City Royals - yes, the Royals - are still sitting atop the AL Central, as they completed a sweep of the Detroit Tigers with a 4-1 victory at Comerica Park on Thursday.
These are historic times in KC, indeed, as it’s been a while since Royals fans have witnessed success of any kind.
