Over the weekend, Auburn held a bit of a crazy bash for several recruits. It was called “Big Cat Weekend,” even though there were no actual tigers, lions, panthers, pumas, ocelots, mountain lions, jaguars, or this guy in attendance. Nonetheless, the recruits had a blast being celebrated, as you can see here.

(The NCAA might make Auburn a much less smiley destination for recruits.)

As a matter of fact, as one recruit (Ladarius Owens) was announced, another recruit, Lache Seastrunk (above) actually called out Nick Saban (that’ll end well, we’re sure), saying Saban was “S.O.L.” on recruiting Owens. Fans whooped and cheered at Seastrunk’s proclamation, and a great time was had by all.

Well, all but Auburn’s compliance department, anyway, since the whole thing was blatantly illegal.

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Remember way back in October, when the Indianapolis Colts were 3-4 and their playoff hopes looked completely dead in the water? What a difference a couple of months make. Last night’s 31-24 win over the Jacksonville Jaguars was the team’s eighth straight, clinching a playoff berth and as the INDIANAPOLIS STAR notes, made them the first team ever to win 11 or more games in six straight seasons. And Tony Dungy became the first coach since the merger to make the playoffs in ten straight years.

All impressive, but the star of the night was Peyton Manning. You might not have noticed, but after struggling a bit during the team’s early slump, Peyton’s stepped out of his little brother Eli’s shadow, putting together a string of great performances despite not having a run game to speak of. And last night might have been his best yet: 364 yards and three touchdowns, including completing his first 17 passes in a row.

If he keeps this up, he might get some endorsements in the future. The game was a bit of a letdown for Jaguars fans, but their highlight had to come before the game, when paralyzed lineman Richard Collier took the field in a wheelchair with his teammates. No jokes there, just a Christmas wish that no other NFL players (or athletes) are the victims of needless crime in 2009.

Meanwhile, the NFL wants you to become a narc. Not about drugs (so please stop following Ricky Williams around, thanks), but about unruly fan behavior. USA TODAY reports that NFL teams are giving fans a way to report obnoxious fans to stadium security by sending a text message.

It’s more discreet than having to find a security guard and point someone out, but it does lend itself to “prank texts” of people wanting to kick people out of the stadium. For example, Buffalo fans shouldn’t text message security and demand that Dick Jauron is kicked out of the stadium for “impersonating an NFL head coach.” Note: the Saints, Rams and Titans don’t offer this service, so feel free to act like complete cretins at these games.

• NESW SPORTS has footage of Chris Webber going “Iraqi Shoe Thrower” on Charles Barkley in the name of “Gene Chiznik” (I think he meant Chizik). I haven’t seen Sir Charles move that fast since a Vegas pit boss came towards him to collect his marker:
• You can remove the Boston Red Sox from the Mark Teixeira sweepstakes: owner John Henry tells the BOSTON GLOBE that “after hearing about his other offers, however, it seems clear that we are not going to be a factor.“
• The CHARLOTTE OBSERVER reports that NASCAR and Mauricia Grant have settled her sexual harassment and discrimination lawsuit out of court. Apparently with the auto industry going into the tank, NASCAR decided that having a $225 million lawsuit hanging over its shoulder might not be a great idea.
• They’re getting Wrigley Field ready for the Winter Classic NHL game, and apparently they’re also indulging in some egg nog (or Old Style) while they are at it. GOING FIVE HOLE has video of an incident that occurred while unloading one of the Zambonis. Just call it a “Zam-boner.”
• KCBS 2 has the details of a suspected child molester who was working as a youth sports coach in Orange County. Remind me to send my kids to tap lessons instead.
• Not only do they take their high school football seriously in Texas (even if the fields can kill you), but God is right up their too. The HERALD DEMOCRAT reports on how their Christian faith has guided the Celina High football team to eight state title games in 11 years.
• In case you missed it, Tim Tebow questioned Mel Kiper Jr. on why the draft pundit thought he wouldn’t make it as an NFL QB, and the Hair Helmeted One really didn’t have a good answer. COLLEGE FOOTBALL TALK says that comments like that (and anger over not winning the Heisman Trophy this year) might drive Tebow from Florida and into the NFL.
• GOLF DIGEST says that Jack Nicklaus has a holiday message for Tiger Woods: get well soon, but don’t break any more of my records. And get off my lawn!
• THE SPORTING BLOG rolls up with word that Bronson Arroyo’s personal motto is “It ain’t no fun unless the homeys can have some!” from a Snoop Dogg song, meaning sharing the sexual services of young ladies with your friends. Talk about a Hot Corner…
• Finally, an Argentine soccer player tells the AP that he feels terrible that he killed a pigeon when it was struck by a ball he kicked. Go tell it to Dave Winfield.

• The New York Giants don’t appreciate one fan’s busting out of support.

• T.O. has a new target for his temper tantrums: ESPN’s Ed Werder.

• Some Flyers float in to have some fun at a Philly frat party.

• The Arena League season, which was off, then on, is now off again.

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Ever since Auburn announced that it was hiring Iowa State head coach Gene Chizik to replace Tommy Tuberville as head coach of their football team, they haven’t been getting much love from the fan base. Sure, Chizik spent a few years as defensive coordinator at Auburn under Tuberville, and was also the defensive coordinator for the Texas Longhorns the year they won the BCS National Championship, but his 5-19 record at Iowa State isn’t exactly impressive.

The question most Tiger fans have had is why would the school get rid of Tuberville to hire a coach that’s barely won 25% of the games he’s coached? If he can’t turn Iowa State around in the Big 12, how is he supposed to restore Auburn to glory in the SEC? Well, while he doesn’t know the answers to those questions, former Auburn basketball player Charles Barkley is pretty sure he knows why the school chose Chizik over Buffalo’s Turner Gill.

Chizik is white.

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Sure, the Gene Chizik hiring is probably the most baffling story of the year, and why not? The guy missed the three toughest teams in the Big XII this season and still went 0-8 in conference play, and all of a sudden he’s Auburn’s perfect candidate to take on Nick Saban in the Iron Bowl. No sensey makey. But nothing truly outlandish, aside from the hire itself, has gone down since then.

(Leaving your team after two years is the height of bitchassness.)

Enter Iowa State WR Darius Darks. Darks, pictured above in a facebook profile photo dated in June 2008, compiled 49 catches for 477 yards as a true freshman this season, and he was expected to be one of ISU’s stars on offense in 2009. But the head coach takes a new job and sh*t goes crazy. Darks reacted to Chizik’s departure by posting two wildly inflammatory videos on his facebook page, which is visible to anybody in the Iowa State or Des Moines network. In the videos (since removed), Darks and teammate Jeremiah Schwartz express vivid personal offense to Chizik’s “lying,” and in a way that all people their age understand and appreciate–wild and random swearing: Read more…

Folks in Auburn were less than thrilled when the school signed the losingest coach in the Big 12. Folks at Iowa State were less than thrilled with him leaving, since all the co-eds wanted to sex him up good. So it’s no surprise that Gene Chizik might have some enemies.

But there’s a bit of a mystery surrounding FireGeneChizik.com. Why was it registered before he coached a single game for the Tigers? Was it done by Auburn fans or ISU fans? And why, for the love of God, does it redirect to the University of Central Florida’s player profile page for Kevin Smith, now in the NFL?

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When Auburn head coach Tommy Tuberville “resigned” last week under extreme pressure from school officials, one would imagine that the Auburn athletic department had a plan in place to go forward. Perhaps a list of potential candidates with a can’t-miss option or two. Really, the one thing you want to avoid at all costs is a coach who’s noticeably worse than the one being replaced. Like, oh, I don’t know… ISU’s Gene Chizik.

(Good news: His buyout is payable in Chizik nickels.)

Yes, according to CYCLONEREPORT.COM, the Iowa State affiliate of RIVALS.COM, Gene Chizik will be the Tigers’ next coach. Chizik, mind you, went 2-10 last season at ISU, including a perfect-in-its-own-lousy-way 0-8 in Big XII play. That pushed his career record to 5-19, which has got to be one of the worst NCAA marks in decades. And Auburn freaking hired him.

But was the biggest salesman in this deal Iowa State’s own athletic director? Read more…

When the DES MOINES REGISTER recently asked Iowans what Hawkeye State celebrity they’d like to make sweet love to, many gals went gaga over Gene Chizik.

(Gene Chizik - Cyclones football coach & sex symbol)

THE WIZARD OF ODDS informs us that the Iowa State football coach was one of the lucky few fellows that Des Moines dames desired as their “celebrity sex partner“. Read more…