Imagine you’re a small-time actor who wants to make a mob movie. You’ve written a script, you’ve borrowed a camera, you’ve got moxie out the wazoo. All you need now is money and actors, and you’re well on your way to an Academy Award. Where to go from there?

(Crappy pitcher, crappy musician, soon-to-be crappy movie [...]

Jay Cutler has moved from snit fit to full-on martyrdom and Denver Broncos owner Pat Bowlen has chosen to accommodate the young quarterback and search for a trade partner, thus saving Broncos fans from competency at the quarterback position.

(Sign language is still communication, right?)
Chris Simms will stand as the only vaguely quarterback-like substance on the [...]

Back in Spring Training many of the baseball experts had predicted the Detroit Tigers with their big name additions would be playing baseball beyond September 28th, the last day of the regular season. While the experts have been wrong about a plethora of predictions, this is one that they may very well have correctly called. [...]

If I’m making a list of athletes who I want not want vowing revenge against me, Gary Sheffield would be right at the top. So I wouldn’t want to be Fausto Carmona or the rest of the Cleveland Indians after they were involved in a bench-clearing brawl with the mercurial Tigers on Friday night.

In terms [...]

The fine folks over at BASEBALL-REFERENCE.COM have undertaken the mammoth task of attempting to document every home run hit in Major League history. By their count, Gary Sheffield’s second-inning grand slam off of Oakland starter Gio Gonzalez on Monday night was the 250,000th in Major League history (dating to 1876). But is it really #250K? [...]

During Wednesday morning’s Boston-Oakland tilt in Tokyo, ESPN thoughtfully took the time to promote another of its televised events: Saturday’s Civil Rights Game against the White Sox and Mets. Steve Phillips made a compelling argument after the Civil Rights Game promo for the progress of minorities in baseball in the last half-century or so:
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJuKuTcz6zU]
Phillips [...]

MITCH REPORT FINDS ONE LESS STRIPPER GOT MO’S MONEY: Time to curl up with the Mitchell Report!

UPDATE: After now having had time to scan the report, there’s nothing new in there about Barry Bonds, Gary Sheffield, Jason Giambi, Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa.Keep in mind that just because players are listed in the report (and [...]

#2 MORE CONSIDERED ABOUT PITCH, CATCH THAN LADIES?: The NEW YORK POST has a story this morning that seems to validate Derek Jeter’s sexual prowess.

Page Six reports that early Sunday morning there were “two scantily clad women screaming at the front desk because they had spent the night at Jeter’s penthouse and were then charged [...]

• Paging Doug Llewelyn: THE WIZARD OF ODDS opens the chambers to Round 2 of Charlie Weis’ malpractice suit:

• SIGNAL TO NOISE is colored confused by Gary Sheffield’s recent comments that Derek Jeter “ain’t all the way black.”
• Paging Jenny Craig: RUMORS AND RANTS reports that Oscar de la Hoya plans to move back to [...]

• After all the will-he/won’t-he speculation, Darren Rovell of CNBC reports Kobe Bryant is finally re-signing with his old team – Nike:

• Your vote counts, as FAN IQ invites you to choose this week’s Stephen A. Shut the F Up Award.
• Yum! BUGS & CRANKS takes a venture behind the counter to work at [...]